The Game
by Tall n' handsome
Summary: Once Master Hand takes a vacation, Crazy Hand forces all of the smashers to participate in a (somewhat spooky [not really]) competition! Separated into unlikely teams, the smashers have to get along and work together for the ultimate prize! The prize is infinite power and control for a day! Who will take the victory? (Chapters fixed to apply season as neutral.)
1. Teams 1-5

As the warm days drew nearer, the mansion overcame unspoken fear. For the summer party was coming close, smashers began to heat up their roast. There would be a nice celebration. The mansion was accepting food without hesitation. It would be a nice day for them, and Master Hand would take a vacation for him. Crazy would watch over the mansion while he was gone. The smashers were sure that their lives were surely done. With Crazy in charge and a party tomorrow, Lucas was filled with uncontained sorrow. He hated social things. People targeted him. For what is a party without such attempts? Glory! Glory! Crazy Hand announced, as he forced everyone to do it old style. They had to dress up as monsters and ghost and be guile. Things were going okay until Crazy started to think. He twitched and turned and tried to even blink. He shouted with joy, for he had the perfect plan. How bad could it be? As bad as it can.

"Yo! Robin! Wait up!" Shulk ran up to him. Robin looked up. He had been studying a book that Marth handed him. 'Just take it!' he said. So Robin took it.

"Hey. What's up?" he looked up.

"Did you hear the news?"

"What news? Kirby learned to talk?"

Shulk frowned. "No. Not yet anyway. Crazy Hand is in charge and he's forcing everyone to dress up for for tomorrow's party! Can you believe it!?" Shulk waved his hands around.

"What? You're joking right? It's a Summer party, why would we need to dress up!?"

"Nope. But hey! It can't be that bad! We'll be just like kids again!"

"I didn't know you when I was a kid…"

"Yeah, but remember that time we snuck into Master Hand's office and drank that weird potion? Then we got-"

"We were turned tiny. Yeah. Not the same thing. Got any plans?"

"Nah. I was just going to stay in my room and watch TV. Not a big fan for the holidays."

"Don't be like that. You can come with me and Lucina when we go out."

"Oh? A date?"

"No! It's just a, 'Friendly Lunch'. You can tag along if you want to. Afterwards, we'll meet up with Link and Zelda."

"Sooo, a double date? I'll bring flowers!" he pressed. Robin waved him off. "I'm just joking."

"Shulk?"

"What?"

"Shut the hell up." Robin opened the double doors leading into the mansion. He checked in at the front desk. Then Shulk checked in. They began to walk upstairs. They passed up Little Mac and Captain Falcon who seemed to be arguing.

"Man, I hope they don't kill each other." Shulk whispered.

"Anyways, if you're done with your joking, you can come with me and Lucina. Afterwards, we'll meet up with Link and Zelda. Then we're all heading down to the movie theatre - put your hand down. Then we'll head back here and play some games. Hang out with Ike, Roy, Corrin, Kamui, and Marth. So, you coming?" Robin asked. Shulk had been nodding his head the entire time.

"Sounds pretty fun. I guess I'll come too-" He was interrupted by a loud rumbling.

"Oh shit…" he whispered. "I'll see you around." Shulk pulled out his Monado and changed it to speed. They waited. Bowser turned the corner. Shulk sped down the hall. They dodged left and right to avoid crashing into things.

"Look, I'm sorry! It was an accident!" Shulk screamed. But Bowser wasn't having it. Shulk jumped down all of the stairs in one go. Robin had seen it all.

"I'm not even going to ask." The alarm bell rang. The bell that signaled emergency. Red lights flashed on and off.

"Oh no! Crazy didn't get candy again did he?" Robin sprinted down the hall and down all 4 flights of stairs, into the auditorium. AKA, the big room. Nearly everyone else was there. Crazy floated on the stage. Once everyone was present, the alarms stopped. The smashers took their seats. Robin sat in between Lucina and Shulk, who was sitting as far away from Bowser as possible. Crazy took the microphone.

"HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME!? IS THIS THING ON!?" The microphone was way too loud. One of the staff women turned it down.

"Ah. Much better! Greetings! You may know me as 'The Big Cheese' but you can call me Crazy!" A distant voice in the audience shouted 'You're crazy!'. Crazy snapped his fingers and lightning zapped Little Mac. He fell out of his chair.

"...ANYWAYS...I've obviously called you in here for a reason. Tomorrow is the ultimate party! I have something special planned! You do not attend if you don't want to, but just know that it's a surprise! Also, it's mandatory!"

"You just said we didn't have to attend…" Sheik said raising her hand. Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and lightning zapped her. She fell out of her chair and climbed back into it. "Fucking jackass…" she whispered under her breath.

"The event for tomorrow is a secret, so don't tell anyone!...Now, here's what we're doing tomorrow! Just so you know, it might take a LONG while! My bro said not to do anything crazy, but let's be honest...I'M CRAZY!" Another voice from the audience yelled 'I knew it!'. Crazy snapped his fingers. Lightning zapped Little Mac again and he fell to the floor.

"The event is...I'll tell you tomorrow! Dismissed! WAIT! One last thing, if anyone refuses to participate, then you'll be used for a different...experiment…" A voice from the audience said 'What experiment? How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Toot-' Crazy snapped his fingers. Little Mac was fried by more lightning.

"DISMISSED!"

Disappointment soaked several smashers. But hey! It ain't that bad! Well, that's what Shulk kept saying. Always glass half full. Much else didn't happen that day.

THE NEXT DAY…

It all started off quite normal, in fact, Crazy made it quite formal. Samus drank coffee normally, in an orange mug. Rosalina was elsewhere, giving out free hugs. Rosalina ate with very much class, but Dark Pit kept slapping Peach's ass. Soon enough he went flying into a wall, while people noticed that Bayonetta was too damn tall. Then things started to go wrong. The event bell started to go DING DONG! Everyone hurried outside. Little Mac was slower because he was still fried. Everyone gathered on the mansion's front yard. Wario was last because he is just lard. Don't get me wrong, he's a pretty strong guy. Just saying he doesn't have flaws would be a lie. (Speed up the pace!) Things were gettin' pretty rowdy, smashers were anxious! Nobody was left except for staff in the mansion! They all lined up in front of Crazy Hand, he said, "You're all here this is just too grand! Time for the rules, listen up people! This kind of challenge isn't for the feeble! You're going through a game and whoever wins, gets to rule for a day and you get pigskins! This opportunity only comes once so you gotta be fast! Don't be slow, you don't wanna get last! Nothing more to be said, quick get in groups!" They ran around, acting like nincompoops. The event was almost ready and things were almost steady. They were in groups and ones they liked too. Crazy didn't like it, he wanted something more fun. So he split everyone up and the groups were re-done. He snapped his fingers and they teleported elsewhere. Where you ask? Where else? The fair? Somewhere dark and somewhere spooky. Somewhere that's truly quite loopy.

It was a dark and creepy place. Even being outside of the actual place was scary. Lucas shivered. Luckily, Ike agreed to help him through this.

"Okay! Let's get into groups! I'll use the random button!" Crazy announced.

"Uh, Crazy. If I may offer advice…" Rosalina said with her hand raised. Crazy sat still and listened. "If you were going to choose our teams now, why did you ask us to do that before? My point is, it would be better to only have us do it once rather than twice. Now, the first time was pointless." she said.

Crazy sat still and contemplated what she said. "Makes sense. Nothing we can do about it now. RANDOMIZE!" Crazy slammed his fist on the random button and it shattered into pieces. "...Whoops. Don't tell my bro about that. It was his. Let's try that again…" Crazy took out a bunch of cards, each with a smasher on one. He shuffled, then pulled out the cards by two's. A screen poofed out of nowhere, showing the teams. Each one popped up and the teams were already named.

"Okay everyone! The teams have been set! See who you're with on the board, then get together! We don't have all day, so get your behinds moving!" They all scrambled, finding their partners.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Shulk exclaimed when he found out he was with Bowser. 'Insistent Flames', that was their team name. Bowser laughed and walked over.

"Allow me to explain the rules. Listen up now, because this is important." Crazy said in a broad voice.

"The object of the game is to try to get through this haunted and challenge filled area as fast as you can. First off is Level 1. Level 1 is the easiest and only used to get boosters for the next five levels. There are six levels in all. As I said, Level 1 is only to get power-ups and boosters. Afterwards, the challenges get harder. For every challenge, the two slowest teams get eliminated. On the fifth challenge, the slowest five teams get eliminated. Level 6, two more teams will be eliminated. Then is our free-for-all round. All teams will be broken up. The remaining participants will duke it out fighting through an obstacle course that's spooky themed despite it being party time soon. It will be a race. You may attack anyone competing, even your old partners. Whoever reaches the end first OR is the last person standing wins the game. Any question?" Little Mac raised his hand.

"Are the Level's going to be different?"

"Yes. That was a stupid question…" Nobody else raised their hands.

"Good. Are you ready to play?"

"YES!"

Crazy was super excited and the Staffman that was brought along slowly calmed him down. "Alright, to start off we're going to have team... _Galactic Wings_ go first! Kamui, Rosalina, please step onto the blue pad." The two stepped forward and onto the giant, blue painted spot on the floor. It had scratch marks and handprints on it. It also had the words 'MURDER' on it. Rosalina and Kamui faced each other.

"Well, I don't think I've seen you before. Hello, my name is Rosalina. It's great to be partners." Rosalina stuck her hand out. Kamui's face was especially red.

"H-hi. My name is Kamui. It's also nice to meet you…" She shook Rosalina's hand.

"Oh hello! My name is Mr. Propper! Nice to meet you! Let's sit down for a nice cup of tea! Wanna watch a documentary!?" Ike shouted. Rosalina flashed him a threatening look.

"Well, Mr. Propper, you'd best keep your comments to yourself or you'll drop down the tier list." That shut him up. Marth nudged him. "She's going to kick your ass in the finale." he laughed.

Crazy Hand started the countdown. Rosalina and Kamui were back-to-back.

"3"

"2"

"1"

"DIE."

The blue pad zapped them out of sight. A large screen came down from the air, and there, you could see them and their time.

Kamui was tied up in a pitch black room. She had tape on her mouth. _What is this? A kidnapping?_ She thought to herself. A voice sounded out of nowhere.

"Kamui. You need to untie yourself and free Rosalina. Do you understand? You must untie yourself and free Rosalina." She shook her head. Her hands were bound by ropes and she was tied to a chair. She wiggled her left hand. Loose. She wiggled some more and quickly got her hands free. She tore the tape off of her mouth. Ouch. Duck Tape. She then cut the ropes clean in half. Now, all she had to do was get the lights on so she could see.

"Nice job." the voice sounded. "Now get to Rosalina."

"Where is she? It's too dark to see anything." The voice didn't come back. The smashers watched her on the screen. 2 minutes.

"She got untied fast." Fox said. The camera in the room had night vision, so they could see everything she did.

"What does she have to do again?"

"I think she needs to find Rosalina. But it's dark in there, so she'll have to feel along the walls." Kamui bent down.

"What is she doing?"

"I dunno. She looks totally lost." While the smashers were talking Crazy Hand came over.

"Hey, I just thought of something useful! For the smashers who can't communicate in English…" Crazy snapped his fingers. Every non-english speaking smasher had little red dots on them.

"GOOEY BOMB!" Falco jumped into the air.

"No, it's a translator. Duck Hunt, say hello." Crazy corrected.

"HELLO." The bland voice said. It was a man's voice who spoke in only one tone. At least they could all talk now.

"Hey guys, I think Kamui figured it out." Corrin said, pointing to the screen. Kamui was feeling along the walls. She found a gap and went through it. The camera angle changed, showing her walking down a hall. She squeezed through a narrow gap in the wall to a open room. There was a dim light in the corner. It showed a light switch…

Kamui walked over to the switch. It was still really dark and there was a dim light and a switch next to it.

"It's way too dark in here." she said as she approached the switch. There were distant screams everywhere. Like someone suffering. People suffering. Kamui shook the thoughts out of her head.

"LET THERE BE LIGHT!" she said and flipped the switch, the room lit up instantly and a wall blew up, sending maggots everywhere.

"What the-eww. Aww, this was a good shirt…" Her shirt had splotches of who knows what on it, leaving red and brown stains. It ruined the white T-shirt and blue jeans.

"Way to go. What are you waiting for? Get Rosalina and get to the Bonus room!" Kamui ran into the hole that got blown open. Inside was an even larger room and a horrible smell.

"Ugh! It smells like wet gym socks!" Kamui said, scrunching up her face. Rosalina was in the middle of the room in a glass box. There was a lock on the door and three keyholes. There was eight keys on the walls, all different shapes. Rosalina looked up and knocked on the glass. It was sound proof, so you couldn't hear her. The keys were hung up high, and some were covered in things that were slimy. A loud radio was in the corner and it boomed out a loud voice.

"FINALLY! Guess what!? You've made it to the suffer chamber. Your challenge is you have to-"

"Yeah yeah. I get it. Get the keys and unlock the door. Simple enough." Kamui interrupted. She ran and grabbed the key nearest to her and stuck it into one of the locks. There was a blast of lightning and Rosalina was electrocuted. Kamui quickly pulled the key out of the lock and jumped back.

"Tsk tsk. I tried to explain it to ya. It's not that easy. First, you must get the right key for the right lock. Then, you must find which lock is the right one. Once you have all three of the correct locks and keys, you must unlock them in order or pretty little space princess gets shocked. Understand?" the voice barked.

"Y-yeah. I understand." Rosalina's hair stood up and she had her hand on her right eye. She brushed her bang back down and it covered her eye again.

"Rosalina, are you okay?" She nodded yes, then pointed to the ceiling. There was another key. Her pillowy lips moved, but no sound came out. Maybe she wanted her to grab that key...Then, there was the voice again.

"Your challenge starts in 3..2…-"

"I'm getting a Hellevator vibe from this." Kamui said.

"1...GO!" Kamui sprung into action. She went for the top key first, since Rosalina pointed to that one. She ignored the rope hanging down. _I'll just fly up there!"_ she thought. Her wings extended and she flew (kinda). There was a loud crackling sound; the sound of electricity. The sound of Rosalina getting shocked again. The radio voice let out a cackle.

"Tsk tsk. No cheating. Well you can, but Rosalina will have to endure the pain, that is." Kamui cursed herself as she grabbed the rope and climbed. It was easy, they did say it was easy. She got that key. _Hey, while I'm up here,_ she decided, _let's just grab that other key. I can jump down and get it._ Kamui jumped from the rope with the key in her hand and grabbed another key in the far corner of the room on her way down. 3 keys. 5 more to go. She ran over to Rosalina's prison. She didn't look comfortable.

"Hmph. You managed to find the three correct keys on the first try. Lucky guess. But you'll never figure out which goes to which and in which order! Hahahaha!" Kamui stuck all the keys in different locks, twisted, and opened up the glass door. The radio went silent.

"Did-Did you...Did you just guess those?"

"Yeah. Guess luck is on my side."  
"There were over 10,000 possibilities! How did you manage- ya know what? It doesn't matter." A hidden door swung open.

"Just get to the bonus room. You have thirty seconds to grab as much as you can and step on the blue pad in there. I need to go think about what just happened…" The radio clicked off.

Rosalina stepped out while combing her hair down with her hand. "Well done Kamui! You did fantastic." she said. Kamui went all red.

"L-let's just keep moving…"

Link's jaw was dropped. "Did she seriously just guess that!?"

"It seems so. I'm surprised myself. But the faster they move, the closer we get to our turn, no?" Bayonetta said. Link and Bayonetta were teammates and their Team name was 'Time Warp'. Kind of clever, kind of irritating.

"Why does Kamui keep blushing when Rosalina speaks to her? She's usually pretty smug." Ike said.

Marth tapped on his shoulder. "Do you think that maybe…?"

"Nah, at least, I don't think so. Guess we'll have to find out." Ike said with his eyes closed. Everyone was hushed for a second.

"FIFTY BUCKS SHE'S A LESBIAN!" Marth said with the money in his hands.

"You're on!" Fox yelled.

"Guys, she's not a les-"

"I'm in on that bet! Fifty dollars she's straight!" Captain Falcon said with a smile crossing his lips.

"Guys, seriously, she's not-"

"Alright then. I'm in. Fifty she's got a thing for Rosalina." Falco said. There was that bland male voice again.

"I AM IN ON THE BET. SHE IS NOT A LESBIAN." Mr. Game&Watch said.

Bayonetta spoke up too. "She's probably not even interested. That's my bet." Link looked up at her.

"You're in on this nonsense too!?" he choked.

"Just watch child."

Samus' eyebrow twitched.

"Okay, how do you even find out if she's gay or not!? Didn't think that far did you?" she said through clenched teeth. Marth flicked his hair.

"Oh, but of course I did! If she doesn't fall for me, then she has to love women!" he laughed triumphantly.

"Wait, why the hell is it you!? Who WOULD fall for you!?" Ike yelled. Marth glared at him.

"Well, obviously I have the most charm out of everyone here, am I right?"

"Like hell you do!" Roy said. "Even Ganondorf has more charm than you!" he laughed. Ganondorf struck a small pose.

"Fucking idiots…" Samus mumbled and walked away. Marth and Roy were still at each other's throats. "So you wanna play it that way huh!?" Marth said. "Do I need to bring up your female underwear!? How you wear them because they're more, 'comfortable'?" Marth smiled. Roy was taken aback.

"That was a low blow! Besides, it started off as a prank, then I realized what a blessing it was. Do I need to remind you of your sissy crown!? Oh I'm sorry, I meant tiara!" The heated battle rages on.

"Uh guys?"

"Well this 'tiara' is better than any of your thongs Roy!"

"I don't wear thongs! I-" Roy and Marth stopped to someone's laughter. There was Ike, hand on face, trying his best not to. But it still came out. He snickered, then fell on the ground laughing.

"What are you laughing at!?" They said in unison.

"Oh! Hahaha! Ow, it hurts! Hahaha! My sides!" Ike was laughing tears.

"Guys?"

"You know what? He doesn't matter. I have more charm than the both of you combined." Roy said with a hand up to his chest.

Marth scoffed. "Are you crazy!? Fine. Whoever wins over Kamui first is the winner. If we both lose, then obviously she's a les-"

"GUYS!"

"What Corrin? WHAT!?" Marth yelled. Corrin pointed behind him.

"Kamui's right behind you." Marth and Roy whipped around. Kamui was there, frown on her face and hands on her hips.

"What the fuck!? When did you get here!?" Roy stuttered.

"I assume when you two were fighting. What were you two talking about? About winning me over?" she said smugly. Roy whispered in Marth's ear.

"Dude, we should probably just tell her the truth. Maybe we'll be able to find out her sexuallity." he said quietly. Kamui waited and was getting more impatient by the second. Marth nodded and kept listening to Roy. Finally, they came to a conclusion.

"So, how was the bonus room?" Marth and Roy both had nervous smiles. Kamui closed her eyes and took a sigh. In a flash, a sword was up to both of their necks.

"Last chance. Truth. Now," Marth fumbled with his words. "Um, err…"

"We were betting on your sexuallity." Ike blurted out. "Roy and Marth were planning things when you walked over." Roy looked at Marth. Marth looked at Roy. They both looked at Kamui. She looked back at them. Only one thing was different. They looked at her nervously. She looked back at them with devious grins. Once again, Roy and Marth looked at each other.

"Is this true?" Kamui said.

"..."

"Well?"

"THE JIG IS UP! RUN!" But it was too late. She had them both by their throats.

Not too long later, Roy and Marth had several lumps on their heads.

"Assholes...I'm not straight or a lesbian. I'm asexual! For the moment anyways…" Kamui stomped off. Everyone who made a bet was crestfallen. All except Bayonetta.

"You heard the lady. Pay up!" There were several frustrated groans from each smasher that handed her money.

"ENOUGH OF THIS! NEXT ROUND!" Crazy shouted. Another screen popped out of nowhere. It had the teams and was spinning.

"Okay! Since Team Galactic Wings were successful, Rosalina, you may stop the spinner!" Rosalina stepped up to the big red button.

"No whammies...Now!" She pressed the button. ' _Psychic Strength_ '

"Team Psychic Strength, you're up. Lucas, Ryu, please step forward!

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Are you ready?" Lucas nodded yes. The two stood back to back on the blue pad that now read 'DANGER'. Lucas was scared. Ryu told him to stay close and if they were split up, keep cool. Just remember that people are rooting for me, he thought.

"3…"

"2…"

"1…"

"BLOOD." With a flash, they were gone. Seconds later, the TV clicked on. The smashers marveled at the new sight. There were many colors on the walls and it was a bright atmosphere. Until scenes of 'HELP ME' written on the wall in blood and 'GET OUT' were shown on the walls. That's when they realized that it was a twisted carnival. Clowns. Attractions. And to make it even better, the team was separated. The screen split in two; on one side, Lucas, on the other side, Ryu. Everyone turned their attention to Lucas first.

It was dark. He could see at least. And he wasn't tied up. There was no radio helping him out, he just had to ride solo. He walked towards the light.

"Just keep your cool...Just keep your cool…" he repeated. Shadows of figures passed him by. They held axes and laughed maniacally. The Clowns. He could do this. His footsteps echoed on the floor as he stepped through a doorway. It opened up to a multi-colored, ride room. It was like a cylinder. Ryu was on the far other side of the tent. It was like the inside of a national museum, everything making you feel small. There were things lined up against the wall. It looked like ladders or footholds. It made sense considering the fact that there was no floor there. Just empty space. The empty space and obstacle course went all the way around to Ryu.

"Hey! Lucas! There is a big button with your face on it! I think you have to press it!" Ryu called.

"O-okay!" Lucas walked over to the wall. It had broken planks sticking out with nails in it. It was soaked in red and smelled terrible. Lucas nervously put his foot on the first one, then lifted himself up onto the second. He stumbled.

"Don't fall! There's nothing below us!" That thought made Lucas nauseated. _Come on! You're better than this!_ Lucas screamed at himself. He forced himself through it. He stood up straight and walked along the planks. Then, he jumped off of one and grabbed one of the footholds in the walls. He walked like a monkey through all of them. Then, platforms started moving. The ones he was supposed to jump on. With nowhere to go, he became frustrated.

"Ryu! What do I do now!?" he said.

"Can you make it with your PK thunder?"

"I-I'll try!" he stuttered. Lucas took a deep breath. With the world standing still, he jumped and used his PK Thunder. He hit himself and flew straight towards a platform. Lucas reached out, ready to pull himself on. He grunted and stretched out his arms as far as they would go.

But the platform moved.

Lucas flipped through the air. He was nowhere close to the other side which means he would plummet to his doom. He fell down, into the endless blackness of nothingness.

"Nooooooooo!" he screamed as he fell.

"Lucas!" Ryu ran and bent over the railing. He searched for Lucas. His eyes darted left to right.

Darkness there, and nothing more, (The Raven quote).

"Damn it. He's gone. Surely I'll find him again...At least I hope…" Behind him, a door flew open. The button that once had Lucas' face on it now had his eyes and mouth crossed out. Someone had written 'DEAD' on the bottom. Ryu walked forward through the door.

"Darn it! No fair, they moved the platforms!" Ness yelled. "Now Lucas is gone!" Mega Man pat Ness on his back.

Marth and Roy both had ice on their heads. "I can't believe it. How could this happen!?" Roy said.

"Yeah, I know. How could she really be asexual? How could I be wrong?" Marth said.

"Oooookay...Not what I was talking about but yeah. It's a damn shame. She's got a nice ass."

"I wasn't talking about her features dumbass. Though you are right. I meant that I never would have thought she was like that. I mean, we all love her the same, but man, it's a shock." Corrin walked up behind the two of them.

"See, if you would've listened the first time I told you then maybe you wouldn't have lumped up heads." he laughed.

"Hey guys, I think Ryu's getting somewhere," Pit pointed to the screen. Ryu punched open a wall with a crack in it.

"I wish I could do that…" Roy said. "Well, I know someone who can…" They all looked at Ike, who was quietly snoozing in the corner. They turned their attention back to the TV. Ryu was in a bright room. He was dodging darts that were shooting from the walls.

"Acrobatics."

"Same." Ryu jumped past the rest of them and stopped only to fasten his headband. He walked on, determined to find Lucas. He ran into a room that had two different doors, both in chains. There were also two different buttons. One said, 'SAVE YOUR FRIEND' and the other said, 'BONUS ROOM'. Ryu clicked the save your friend button in a heartbeat. The door to the right opened with metal screams. It sounded like haunting souls. Once the door's shrieking came to an end, Ryu walked through the door. There was a giant yellow room with a giant statue in the middle. It looked something like a golem. The doors behind him slammed shut. There was the radio voice.

"I see you've come for your friend. Foolish foolish foolish. Welp, now that you're here, you might as well play with Tanby! Tanby is the big guy in the middle. Beat him and I might think about returning you friend. Are you ready?" boomed the shrill voice.

"Let's get on with it then!" Ryu yelled.

"Hey, you could at least be polite about it. Oh well." Everything lit up. Lights made the room much brighter, bright enough that Ryu could see things splattered against the wall. Red and orange and burgundy. The metal rods on the wall sparked on, casting electricity to one another. It made a fence of lightning. Tanby. Maybe Tanby needed to be knocked into the lightning?

"Well, is this thing going to activate or what?" he poked and tapped on it everywhere.

"Oh, right..." The radio said. "Gu lef dar!" Nothing happened at first, but then the Golem sprung to life. While Ryu question if gu lef dar is from Dragon Age or not, he didn't notice that the golem was fully awake.

"Go my minion! Attack!" There was a growl, then the golem turned towards Ryu. He lifted up his massive hand and swung down. Ryu dodged under him.

"Shoryuken!" Ryu jumped up with his fist in the air. He uppercut the golem from under. Direct hit! The golem stumbled and lost his balance, hitting the ground hard. Dust particles flew in the air.

"Wait, is it over? No, it couldn't be that easy." Ryu said to himself. He was right, as the golem stood right back up. Quickly, he swung around and hit Ryu with a huge backhand. Ryu blocked it. He struggled to hold against it. His feet skid against the ground, getting a little too close for comfort with the lightning.

"No closer!" Ryu grunted, then picked up the golem. "You'd think a rock would be heavier…Tanby...Did you lose weight?" He said, teeth clenched. Tanby figeted and fought will in Ryu's hands, but Ryu didn't care. He heaved and he ho'd and he sent Tanby flying right into the Electric fence. Tanby made loud, groanish noises as he was electrocuted, then he went stiff.

"Okay, now it's over."

"Damn it Tanby! Useless! Fine, have your friend, but you missed the bonus room, hahaha!" A hole opened in the ceiling. There was a faint noise, like a distant screaming. It soon got louder and louder. Lucas fell out of the ceiling and landed on the ground.

"Ouch." he said, rubbing his butt.

"Lucas, where have you been?"

"Well, I fell down into that void. I was falling for like 4 minutes. I actually thought it would never end. But then I fell into this chute, and now I'm here. What've you been doing?" Ryu looked at the golem.

""Oh, right." Lucas said sadly.

A blue pad magically appeared in the room. And so did the voice.

"Aww! What a reunion! We don't have all day, so hurry up and get the hell out!" it yelled. Lucas and Ryu both stepped on it.

"How come we can't get bonuses?" Lucas asked.

"It was either that, or you."

"Oh. Th-thanks Ryu." he stuttered.

"No problem. We'll get them next time though!" Ryu held his fist in the air. Lucas did too. And they were zapped out of the area.

"Hello." Ryu said. They had gotten back and their scores and time was on a screen. Items too. Ryu was studying his team. He had a check on Round one which means he made it. Right now, he could only see his team and Rosalina's team. Crazy Hand floated down from the sky.

"Okay! We're a little behind so we're going to have to jump right into the next one. Ryu! Please come and push this stop button!" Crazy said. The teams were spinning much faster this time.

Ryu came and casually clicked the button. ' _Rolling Freedom_ '.

"Ya know, I expected a more enthusiastic push than that but whatever! Team Rolling Freedom is next! Cloud, Yoshi, please step forward!"

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They were walking side by side in a dark hallway. They couldn't be bothered. Neither one said a word to each other. They didn't care that it was dark. They didn't care that it was supposed to be spooky. They didn't care that it was supposed to be interesting. They just carried on like it was normal.

"Yoshi, watch out." Something was coming their way. Something heavy. It rumbled as it approached. The hallway was narrow, so it couldn't be too big. They waited for a long time.

"LOOK UP." the voice translated. There were spikes on the ceiling and they were coming down. "THAT MUST BE THE RUMBLING SOUND."

"No, run!" Cloud and Yoshi sprinted as fast as they could before they were impaled. Cloud was fast, but Yoshi was way faster.

"I'll catch up. Just keep running." Cloud commanded. Yoshi stopped.

"What are you doing?" Cloud hissed. Yoshi signaled for Cloud to get on his back. "Oh, right...Thanks." Cloud hopped on Yoshi and they started running again. The wall started closing.

"Run like the wind, bullseye!"

"DON'T PUSH IT." Yoshi ran as fast as he could, but the spikes and walls were getting closer.

"Does it never end?" There was a light at the end of the hallway. "Up there! Do you see it?" Yoshi nodded yes. His footsteps echoed off the cold, rigid floor. They were close. Meters, yards, feet. Cloud stood up and grabbed his sword. He cut the spikes and walls out of the way and Yoshi near dove out. The walls closed shut just after they got out. Cloud and Yoshi hit the ground with a thud.

"Thanks Yosh. That's what I call teamwork." he panted.

"CLOUD. DESTROY THIS TRANSLATOR." he said all of a sudden.

"What? Why? It's the only way to communicate."

"I HATE IT. BESIDES, YOUR MAIN LANGUAGE IS JAPANESE."

"I spent two years learning English. That doesn't matter. I'll get it for you." Cloud grabbed the small red dot off of him and stepped on it. It cracked.

"That was a lot easier than I thought. Hey, Yoshi. Is it hot in here to you?" Yoshi was too busy staring at something. Cloud got off of the ground and moved over to him.

"Whoa. Not good..." Cloud said slowly and quietly.

Lava. Waves and waves of lava. There was a path over the stuff, with occasional tall walls. The lava came like a wave and splashed against the tall walls.

"You've got to be kidding me." There was a door about 600 yards from them. It was the bonus room. Cloud looked at Yoshi.

"Ready for this?" Yoshi didn't answer. He took it all in. All of the memories of his brothers abandoned in lava because someone needed their sacrifice. Someone used them. That would not be his fate.

"Yoshi!" he responded. Cloud smiled.

"Then let's get this over with."

"Wow. This is the easiest challenge?" Pit said.

"What's the matter Pit? Can't take the heat?" Pittoo snickered, realizing his own joke.

"Uh, personally, I'd just fly over it. But they can't fly, so it's gonna be WAY harder. Hey, Crazy! Doesn't this seem extreme?" he asked. Crazy Hand twitched.

"Excuse me Pit, but I remember that I told you to call me 'Sir Crazy, the Bronze Knight'!"

"Yeah, Crazy sir whatever. Say, how is this the easiest challenge? And where did that voice go?"

"This is easy! All they have to do is hide behind the scattered walls when the lava comes! And if they get caught by the lava then...Oh waitaminute...oooooooh...Let's hope they don't fall." Crazy said.

"Wait what!?" How in the-...? Do you even think about these things?" Pit shouted.

"Quit your bitching Pit. It's contagious." Pittoo yawned.

"Pittoo, don't ruin my innocence!"

"What's wrong? Can't stand to hear the word bitch? How about cun-"

"Hey guys! They're going now! That lava isn't letting up!" Fox yelled.

"Oh yeah, they're having a grand ol' time aren't they?" Dark Pit said. Cloud was ducking behind a wall. Lava splashed against it.

"It must be hot as hell in there. Get it?" Roy winked and nudged.

"That was so bad that I'm willing to ask Marth to stab me." Ike mocked.

"Come on. Don't be like that. Robin, that was good right?" both Robins looked up.

"You killed a couple of my brain cells." they said in unison.

"Everyone's a critic. Say, got anything better?" Roy asked.

"Well, if you ask me, there's a lava stuff going on down there. Eh? Eh?" Marth hinted. Roy paused.

"Ugh, I coughed up a little bit of blood." Robin (F) stepped up. "All Cloud has to do is rain to put the fire out." her grin was from ear to ear.

"Okay please. Just stop. I'm sorry, but you're killing me."

"Well then. It looks like we exploited Roy's weakness. In that case, two guys walk into a bar, and the third one is a duck." Robin (M) said. Roy fell on the ground.

"Robin, if you don't stop then I'll kill you." both Robins looked at each other. They pointed to themselves. Roy sighed.

"I was talking about the feminine male Robin. We really need to find a way to tell the two of you apart. I mean, you both have the same name and you both act like chicks. Only one is attractive."

"Why thank you Roy!" Robin (F) said.

"Uh, no. I was talking about the other one."

"I'm going to ignore that and address the whole names thing." Robin (M) said. "Call me Splitter."

"..."

"...pfft HAHA! FUCKING SPLITTER! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!" Ike laughed. Robin was not impressed. "No, we're not telling jokes anymore. I'm serious." he said, arms crossed.

"That's what makes it so funny!" Robin sighed. Robin (F) stepped up.

"Call me Death. Anything else and you get...Well, death." Death said.

"She's kidding right? I'm just asking, Death seems scary and threatening. Her however, seems gentle and feeble." Marth said.

"Still won't stop me from kicking ass." she replied.

"Death it is then." They turned their attention back to the screen and watched them dodge back and forth.

"Umm, Lady Palutena?" Pit said, arms behind his back.

"Yes Pit?"

"I have a question. It's important."

"Oh, well then ask away."

"Okay...What exactly is a cun-"

"Yoshi, look out." Cloud said. The wave of lava splashed right over him. Cloud watched in shock as Yoshi was engulfed by lava. At least, that's what he thought. An egg rolled out of the lava and past straight to the next wall. Cloud was in awe. He silently fist pumped the air. Yoshi popped out of the egg as if nothing happened. Cloud ran over and rolled like an egg. He landed next to Yoshi and smiled sheepishly.

"Heh heh." Yoshi sighed. They moved in that formation. Yoshi egg rolling and Cloud person rolling from wall to wall. Finally, when they made it to the last wall, Cloud and Yoshi realized their problem. It was a 100-meter dash to the door and the lava came every 7 seconds.

"Yoshi, what's your fastest mile time?" Cloud asked. Yoshi held up four fingers.

"4 minutes. That's 400 meters per minute. 6 meters per second. 42 meters in 7 seconds. Not fast enough, we wouldn't make it. Can you use your egg roll over there? I can stay here. Find another way." Yoshi shook his head.

"Wait, you're right. Egg roll only last about 3 seconds and takes 5 seconds to regenerate. 8 seconds. Then there's no possible way to do this without getting burned." Yoshi shook his head. He communicated by saying his name and moving his arms.

"Oh? Oh! I see! You use your shield and then you want me to kick you down there? You know what? I say we just run. We both have great aerial maneuverability. If I ride you - let me rephrase that. If you run while I'm on your back and the lava comes, I can charge up a Limit Break and and pull us both up with my up-special. Or, I use my up special and you use your Egg Roll to get through? That could work…" Cloud said. Yoshi sighed, then swallowed Cloud whole. He came out as an egg and Yoshi grabbed him. The lava passed and Yoshi sprinted as fast as he could. The lava came seven seconds later. He threw the egg into the air and shielded. The shield nearly broke. He caught the egg and ran again. The lava began to approach again. You could here muffled noises from inside the egg. The lava was getting close, but Yoshi was getting closer to the end. If he shielded again, it would surely break, making him dizzy and a sitting duck, not to mention Cloud. If he Egg Rolled, he would pass the lava, but would leave Cloud behind. Cloud would break out very soon, probably not understanding Yoshi's plan. With little time to decide, Yoshi threw the egg he was carrying and Shielded at the last second. The lava passed over him and destroyed Yoshi's egg sanctuary. He broke open, dizzy. Cloud finally broke out of the egg.

"Hey Yoshi, we made it. Y-Yoshi?" Cloud turned around to see Yoshi stumbling from left-to-right. Then he looked at the lava.

"Uh oh…" He ran and grabbed Yoshi and quickly ran back. Yoshi half ran, half dragged behind. Cloud and Yoshi both threw themselves at the finish, away from the lava. Cloud dropped.

"Whew, that was a close one. Good plan Yoshi. If it wasn't hot in here before, then man…"

"Yoshi!" Yoshi said enthusiastically.

"Hey Yoshi, this may be somewhat racist, but, are you a pokemon?" Cloud asked. Yoshi looked taken aback. "No, it's just that you only say your name and in your final smash, you grow wings. Like an evolution!"

"Hmph!" Yoshi yelled, turning the other way.

"Wait Yoshi, I'm sor-"

Yoshi grunted.

"I guess the damage has been done. Well, sorry." Yoshi was still turned around. "Let's just get to the bonus room…"

"Did he seriously just ask if Yoshi was a pokemon? I mean, come on!" Robin said to himself.

"I actually need to ask him to be my tutor for math or something. He did all those calculations in his head…" Death said.

"You set me up. Now I'll have things in my head forever." Pit told Pittoo. "I didn't even know that it existed…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dark Pit replied.

"That word you said. The one that starts with a 'C'."

"One that starts with a...Oh, waitaminute...You didn't actually ask Palutena what that is did you?" he held back a snicker.

"Yes and she said-"

"OHAHAHA! THAT'S PRICELESS! HAHAHA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID THAT!" Pit wasn't at all amused.

"Pfft-hahaha! Man, how naive are you?" he laughed.

"Not that much anymore anyways…"

Dark Pit almost fell over.

"I still have those terrible images my head."

"Haha-wait wait wait. She showed you pictures to!?" Pit sadly nodded. That got Dark Pit started righ back up again.

"Haha! Wow! What did she say when you asked her?" he giggled.

"Well, at first she was shocked. I guess she didn't expect me to ask her what it was. Anyway, she said," Pit tried his best to imitate her. "Well, I'm surprised at you Pit! But, there is a time when boys like you are interested in that sort of thing. The word you used was inappropriate, nonetheless, but to put it bluntly, it is actually a female part. Not just any part, but-" he stopped right there.

"Hey, keep going!"

"S-sorry, but is this the best time to talk about this?" Pit signaled right next to him. Mega Man had his jaw dropped.

"P-Pit? Is that you?" he just barely got the words out. Pittoo was too busy laughing in the background to understand what was happening.

"Wait no, it's not what you think! You see-" Mega Man put a hand up.

"You know what, I don't even want to know." he said, walking in the other direction.

"Good, it wasn't his business anyway. Carry on Pit." Pittoo smiled.

"Oh yeah. *ahem*. 'Well, I'm shocked that you didn't know, but not everyone has parts like yours Pit. Girls are much different. For instance, the way you go to the bathroom and the way we go to the bathroom are different. You stand up most of the time while normally, we sit down. We don't have the part where we can 'take aim', but where we don't have anything there but a hole. Kind of like a flap.' I don't think I want to go on…" Pit said. Dark Pit was rolling on the ground.

"What are you talking about? Keep going!" he just couldn't get enough.

"Fine." he puffed. "'Another difference is our chest. The average man, or boy's, chest grow flat and girls are supposed to grow outwards, or a better word for you would be bigger. We call these breast, and most females have them. It's not bad when a female's breast aren't as big as others, or even seems to have none, Lucina for instance. If you were to compare Lucina to Samus, you would see a huge difference in breast size. Now, when men get heavier, Wario for example, they may also start to develop breast. Do you understand now, Pit? I still need to teach you what stimulation is.' And that's when I walked away. It's not funny! Stop laughing!" Pit fumed.

Dark Pit couldn't stop laughing. "S-so, what did you say back!?" he said through a huge grin.

Pit sighed. "I said, 'Well, does that make Wario a girl too?'" Dark Pit lost it. He couldn't stand. He fell onto the ground, not a care in the world.

"That is fucking rich! I can't believe you said that!"

"I can't believe you had me ask that…" Pit walked off.

"Haha! Wait, wait wait, come back!" he called.

"What do you want now!?"

"Do you know what 'Turned on' means?"

"Is this another one of your scams, your tricks? If so, I don't want to hear it!" Pit put his hands over his ears.

"No, listen! Go ask her. I know, it sounds like another trick, but just think about it. You've heard turn that on, or something like that and it wasn't a bad thing. Besides, what kind of sexual term is 'Turn on'? Just go ask her."

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Because that bitch - I mean, that person knows everything. She could explain it better."

"Fine. But if this is another one of your jokes, I'm coming for you." he said, stomping off.

"He is so damn gullible. This is too easy. I need a new target. Something more difficult…" His eyes darted all around the corrupted area. 'Till they stopped on Samus, (Zero Suit. There is only one Samus, one with the suit and one when she's without. In this case, it would be without.). A devious smile spread across his face as he homed in on his prey. She was leaning against the wall, arms folded against her chest. Her eyes opened, but her head didn't move.

"What do you want? If you've come to piss me off, it's too late." Spotted. She somehow noticed him getting closer. He cursed himself under his breath. He didn't plan to get caught so soon. No matter. He preferred a more, 'direct' approach anyways. He walked right up to her. She was tall, very tall in fact, and he found it very hard to look threatening. He knew the best way to start. Samus likes her space. Especially when she's upset or angry. So, he plopped himself right there on the wall next to her. She quickly started to look uncomfortable.

"What are you doing? Get away." She moved away from him quickly, but once again, he was right beside her.

"Oh, I see what's going on here. So you DO tend to be annoying." In the blink of an eye, she picked him up by the neck part of his shirt. He grabbed her wrist as she lifted him up.

"Listen. I'm not in the mood and I'll never be. You'd best keep away from me, or I'll make it so that you won't be able to participate. The hard way." She said with spite. Pittoo smiled, and kissed the back of her hand.

"I only wanted to tell you that I'm madly in love with you. My dearest Samus, would you be ever so kind to accept my heart?" he said in a kind and gentle voice. His eyes sparkled for affect. She quickly snatched her hand away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!? Can you just not take a hint? Stay the hell away from me!" She drew her hand back, making a fist.

"Uh oh." he said to himself.

stepped in before things got messy. "Excuse-a me. Is there-a problem here?" he said. He looked at Samus and Dark Pit. Samus glared back at while Pittoo's eyes were on Samus' chest.

"Look , this isn't your problem. I'm taking care of one of mine. Keep it moving." she replied curtly. sighed.

"It'd be better for the both of us-a if you'd just put him-a down. Make my job a lot easier. You put him down and I'll-a take care of it. You keep him and-a you're both in trouble. What do you-a say?" he pulled at his glove. She shut her eyes tightly as if in pain. Finally, they snapped back open.

"Fine, but I'm taking these for a while." She grabbed Pittoo's Silver Bow. He hit the ground with a thud, then scrambled to his feet. He lurched after her.

"Hey, who do you think you are!? Give that back or-" Dark Pit was stuck. He turned to find himself cuffed to an iron pole. Dr. Mario was spinning the key on his gloved-finger.

"This should-a keep you outta trouble for a while. Once you-a learn to behave, I'll-a let you out." he put the key in his pocket and walked off. Pittoo was not happy. He pulled at the cuff around his right hand. It dug into his wrist. He kicked at it. He made a big fuss.

"Screw you! This isn't a punishment, it's stupid! I didn't do anything! That asshole attacked me! Let me go! Let me go! Coward!" After noticing that he was truly stuck, he slumped against the wall, pure, silent rage. He felt the dark wall with his hand. He considered punching it as hard as he could, more than likely breaking a knuckle or finger. Or he could use Pit again. He was just that easy to manipulate. And he seemed to be finished talking to Palutena.

"So damn gullible! Why does he trust me? It's frustrating." he grit his teeth together. Then, he turned his eyes to the TV. Cloud and Yoshi seemed to be exiting the bonus room.

"Aw man. Was I really talking that long? Going over the words, wow! 1514 words!" he exclaimed. He damaged the fourth wall. "I deserve more screen time." he said again, almost destroying the fourth wall. With nothing else to do, he turned towards the TV and watched. Cloud and Yoshi just stepped on the blue pad, looking triumphant. (The bonus room isn't revealed until Dark Pit's turn, so you're going to have to wait.) They zapped back, looking better than when they left. Immediately, they went to check out their progress on the board. Their time was 7:54 minutes and they had three items. Cloud stretched and sat down. Yoshi, well, Yoshi was being Yoshi. Crazy floated from the sky.

"Alright then! I've talked with some of my secretary and we've come to a problem. Now I know many of you have plans after this, and with as many teams as it is, it'll take days to finish! My bro would be back by then! So, the rules are changing a bit. Instead of six rounds, there will be four. Four teams will be eliminated each round and after round one, you'll be split into groups of three's. So, don't get too comfortable because you could be getting moved. Okay, next team! Yoshi, come press the buttons please!" crazy beamed, or at least, he would be if he had a mouth. Yoshi strided up to the button. He jumped upwards, then slammed his hand on the button enthusiastically. ' _Clown Star_ '. Team Clown Star is next! Bowser Jr., Kirby, please step forward!

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There wasn't much to say. Kirby didn't use his translator and Bowser Jr. figured he knew enough English, so he didn't need a translator. The two of them were side to side, but separated by a wall. They both had some kind of extension cord around them to keep them from falling off. Did I mention the fact that they're both walking on a rope over nothingness? Bowser Jr. was restricted from using his Clown Car in this challenge. This required maximum teamwork, agility, and co-operation.

"Hey, Puffball! Watch it, don't pull me down!" he yelled over the wall. Kirby took no offence. The path started to get twisty and turny. But the lines they were walking on was somehow still in unison.

"Okay, listen up tiny! If you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing, we're going to both have to take the same steps at the same time! So follow my lead!" he spat. Kirby nodded.

"Okay, step!" They both took a step.

"Good, step!" They took another step. They were in unison, leaning against each other's weight in order to stay on the rope. Kirby and Bowser Jr. both got used to their beat.

"Wait, stop!" Kirby accidentally took a step, pulling Bowser Jr. forward. He stumbled on the rope.

"Argh! You moron! I wanted to look at the bonus room!" he screamed. Kirby shook too. The rope swung between both of their feet and they fell on opposite sides. The rope twisted around the both of them and got tied up the other rope. They fell and hung in the air. Just sat there. Bowser Jr.'s entire body (except for his head) was tied up. Kirby had his mouth and arms tied up.

" Great! Look at what you've done! Make yourself useful and get us out of here! Inhale or something!" he barked. Kirby tried the best he could, but with his mouth and hands bound by the ropes, there was nothing he could really do.

"Mmph!" he said.

"Wait, you're not serious are you? Your mouth and arms are stuck aren't they?...Oooh great…" Nothing else happened. They're LITERALLY stuck and can't do anything. They would need some way to get rid of the ropes. Bowser Jr. tried to burn the ropes, but his flames were too puny and weak to do any good.

"Argh, the blood's rushing to my head!" he whined.

"Mmph…"

"Shut it! Not another muffled word outta you! Boy, I aughtta clobber you…" he mumbled. "Got any ideas?" There was no reply. Kirby had somehow fallen asleep.

"...Welp...Somebody...HEEEEELP!" he cried out.

It was silent back at the viewing hall. Some watched in awe as they somehow managed to get themselves into an unfixable situation.

"Did...Did they just…"

"Pfft, AHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! You can't be serious! This is actually a thing!" Ike bellowed. Death punched his shoulder.

"How could you be so cruel!? That's not funny, they're stuck there!" she said, folding her arms.

"Awe, come on. Don't pout like that. It's just the fact that they somehow-HAHAHAHA! I can't even hold it in! They're just stuck there! That's hilarious!" Death punched him again.

"Haha! Alright alright. I'm done! I'm sorry." he said nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Psst, hey, Marth. Watch this." Roy whispered. Marth raised an eyebrow as Roy strided over to Ike.

"Hehe...Hey Ike…"

"No, I know what you're going to do. No jokes or Death'll kill me." Ike hinted.

"No, it's just that I was gonna say...They're really hanging around aren't they?"

"...Bwahahaha!" Roy sprinted back over to Marth.

"Haha!"

"Hehehe, why did you do that?"

"Here, just watch."

Death walked back over to Ike.

"Why are you still laughing!? It's not funny! What if they were choking?"

Ike scratched his back. "Well, it'd still be somewhat funny…" he laughed nervously. "We'd get them out, we're not just going to let them die. Right? Hahaha…"

She was still angry. "Shut it Ike."

"Hey, why are you so serious? What's wrong?" Her eye twitched.

"I guess you've never been tied up and stranded in the middle of nowhere."

"W-wait, what? When?"

"A long time ago. But that doesn't matter."

"Oh, okay. Well, sorry to hear that. I'll stop. I promise." he said. Bowser Jr. and Kirby were wiggling back and forth, swinging around. Roy tip-toed over to Ike.

"Hey Ike-"

"No, get the hell away from me."

"Hey Ike…"

"What!?"

"I've heard of a swingset, but this is ridiculous."

"HA-mph!" he stifled a laugh.

"What was that?" Death said.

"N-nothing. Roy farted."

"No I didn't!"

"You were laughing weren't you!? HYA!" She pulled her leg back, and slammed it in between two legs. The color drained from Ike's face, as he fell on his knees and hunched over. She removed her foot and Ike fell onto the ground.. Roy had both hands over his mouth. There was a quiet, high-pitched scream floating in the air.

"I hope that made you laugh, because I sure didn't." Marth ran over and knelt down.

"Oh crap. Oh crap. Ike, are you okay!? Ike, speak to me bro…" he said.

"Shit, Ike. Come on, get up." Roy shook him. Marth whipped towards him.

"You planned this didn't you!? What the hell man!?"

"No! I didn't know she would do that! A man's genitals is nothing to play with! Wait, let me rephrase that. A man's genitals is nothing to joke about!" Link ran over.

"Holy shit! What the hell happened!? Ike, wake up!" he yelled.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault! I didn't know this would happen. I swear!" Roy said. He looked confused and mostly sorry.

"Hey guys. What's all the commotion?" It was Corrin.

"Ike got hit in the balls!"

"What!? I-is he okay!?"

"No! I think he's unconscious. Help me lift him up." The men crowded around him and turned him over. He was still conscious, but was losing it. He couldn't speak.

"One, two, three, lift." The guys lifted him up. Although there were many of them, he was still heavy. Cloud watched them curiously.

"What are you doing?"

"Ike got kicked in the balls! Can you help us lift him?" Cloud assisted without a word. He must know the feeling from dealing with Tifa. Together, they carried him over to a long table.

"Is there a doctor in the house?" Link called. strided fourth.

"Don't be so banal. You know-a I'm right-a here. What's the problem?"

"Ike got hit in the balls! He needs help."

"Wait, Ike got what!?" All the men said. Literally, every male smasher (excluding Dark Pit, Pit, Lucas, Ness, Toon Link, Pikachu, Villager, Charizard, Greninja, and Pac-Man) ran over to Ike.

"That doesn't-a sound good. I'll take-a look at him." said. He wheeled the cart away with Ike groaning and twisting and turning.

"Oh gods, what have I done!?" Roy fell on his knees. Marth knelt beside him.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know this would happen."

"I hate getting hit there. I really feel it. Seriously." Shulk sighed.

"I hope-a he's alright." Luigi nodded.

"Everyone, take a knee!" Falco shouted. The men all dropped on one knee, bowed down, and put a hand across their chest.

"What are they doing?" Kamui whispered to Rosalina.

"It seems that Ike was hurt in his genital area. They take this very seriously. Just stay away and it'll get better." she whispered back.

"Man's oath!" Falco yelled out again. All together, the men raised their heads and spoke words that some people couldn't really understand.

"As a man, we must protect what is precious to us. We must also protect ourselves. Never shall we ever hit another man's precious things. Never shall we hit another man's precious parts. Never shall those who break the law, goes unpunished. For that is the way of a man." They all stood and turned towards the offender. In unison, their voices became more broad and forceful. "You," pointing at Death, "you who hath broken the law of the man shall be punished. You, who hath destroyed Ike's precious parts shall be punished. You, who hath discriminated and retributed amongst a man's parts shall be punished. You, Death, have broken the law of the man. Male or female, the consequences are dire. You will be punished." Step by step, they got closer to the lawbreaker. Toon Link tugged on Rosalina's dress.

"They're kinda freaking me out…" he said to her.

"This happens a lot back at the Mushroom Kingdom, at least, ever since I started visiting. It's like they lose themselves, they were born for this type of situation. They move like robots, and their pupils disappear. Their eyes glow a bright white, and voices become, well, big. It's like speaking into a microphone. All I can say is that Robin is in a lot of trouble." she closed her eyes. Toon Link inched closer.

The men repeated everything that they said.

"W-wait a minute! I've never heard of such a law! What's going on, 'cause this is not funny!" Death protested, backing into a corner.

"This is no joke. This is no game. You have broken the law, so you must be punished."

"Hold on! I didn't know!"

"You gon' learn today." They surrounded her. She punched and kicked, but to no avail. The men's bodies were like steel. Captain Falcon picked her up and the mob carried her.

"Hey! Put me down!"

"-must be punished. Must be punished. Must be puni-" They carried her to a chair, plopped her in it, and strapped her to it with duck-tape.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd call this a gang bang." she whispered. They tied a bandana around her mouth. " _Yep, definitely a gang bang…"_ she thought.

"Now, it's time for your punishment. Consequences are dire." Cloud came forth with a pair of scissors. "Consequences are dire…"

It didn't take long for Death to figure out what Cloud was going to do with the scissors. And that scared her. He put the scissors up to her hair.

"MMPH!" she screamed. She tried her hands and legs, but the duck-tape held strong. But her head and body was still loose. She moved her head and wriggled her body as much as she could. Link and Fox ran and held her down. Fox had hold of her head and Link stomach.

"Consequences are dire…" Cloud put the scissors to her hair. He had grabbed it and with one motion, he could cut it all off. Of course, he would need clippers to get rid of the rest, but that wasn't important now. A tear dropped from Death's right eye as Cloud closed the scissors.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" A large hand flew from the sky. It didn't look happy. None of the guys listened. They were possessed by the spirit of their own manhood.

"THAT'S IT! THIS ENDS! EVERYONE IN BIG TROUBLE!" Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and the loudest boom in ages echoed across the world. An explosion half the size of the planet blew the stadium to smithereens. But with destruction comes creation. Crazy used the explosion to craft a different stadium, a new environment, and a new mood. He protected the smashers just enough so they would die from the fire and the blazing waves of the planet's core. Shards of the ground shot in all directions. Crazy did it all in one motion, restoring the ground, making a new spot.

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People were scattered everywhere. The guys seemed to be out of their trance, Team Clown Star's turn was suspended, Dark Pit was still chained up, Bayonetta seemed to be just fine, and Crazy was very angry.

"This is not how this is going to continue! If you guys don't learn to play right then I'm going to have to cancel this entire event! Bro!" he shook.

"Stopping this doesn't sound too bad. I can get back on schedule…" Sonic said, grabbing his head.

"Oh no bro! That's not how it works! Instead, you'll spend the next three days in solitary confinement to think about what you all have done!"

"Shut up Sonic!" Everyone yelled.

"Now, let's lay out some ground rules since you adults (and some kids) don't know how to play maturely! Okay bro, here are the rules. No fighting or physical forceful contact in any way. No talking over the game! Some people actually care, like Sheik, who's been watching the entire time!" There was silence.

"Hey, where is Sheik anyway?" Link asked curiously. Sheik extended from the ceiling like Spider Man, hanging onto a rope.

"I heard my name. What do you guys want?" she said bitterly.

"Found her."

"Anyways! More rules! If we have another outbreak, I'm taking all of your weapons! Yes, Corrin and Kamui, that means you too."

"I don't think that's physically possible." Corrin said.

"Do you wanna test!?"

"Shut up Corrin!" Kamui barked.

"Geez, sorry."

"Last rule, no wandering around! I'm taking that privilege away! Everyone, have a chair!" A giant green throne that was bigger than all of the smashers and Crazy Hand put together fell from the sky. It was big enough to walk on and enough room for everybody to not be squished together. There was a loud banging and clanging. "Your limitations is this chair! It should be about 40 yards, so that's your limit! Now, any other interruptions or trouble, solitary confinement. Understand!?" boomed Crazy. The smashers frantically nodded yes, not wanting three days in solitary confinement.

"Good! Now, it may be hard to get on that chair since it's really high up, but I'm sure you guys'll manage. Now, Team Clown Star, since you managed to get yourselves into an unfixable situation, I'm disqualifying you this round. That means you don't get to push the random button too. So I'll push it." he said. The magic screen poofed up and the teams were spinning like mad. Bowser Jr. made some very rude gestures to Kirby.

"Random fandom. Push a bush. Make these teams stop with a HUSH BRO!" Crazy yelled as he slammed his middle finger on the random button. _Anger Management._ The smashers looked confused.

"What the hell kind of name is Anger Management!?" Falco shouted.

"That's enough out of you," Crazy pointed at him, "no profanity either. Team Anger Management, it's your turn to play! Dr. Mario, Dark Pit, please step forward!"

"Oh, anger management. I see. That's pretty funny!"

"I said no more words out of you." Dr. Mario stepped up. Crazy looked around.

"Where is Dark Pit?" The clanging was consecutive, never stopping. Marth tip-toed behind the giant chair.

"Jesus dude." Dark Pit was pulling the cuffs against the pole and was kicking at it. He spat things under his breath as his rage grew even bigger. His wrist was bleeding from the cuffs cutting into his hands.

"Damn Dark Pit. Ya know, you kinda remind me of Merle from the Walking Dead."

"Are just going to stand there or get this thing off me!?"

"Alright alright." Marth ran back to the front.

"It's Dark Pit. He's handcuffed to a metal pole. Boy, is he mad."

"Which one of you bros handcuffed him to a pole? And why!?" Dr. Mario slowly raised his hand. "When you-a left, you told me to watch over everybody and-a keep them in con-a-trol. I found Dark Pit harassing-a Samus and I didn't want to have to treat him for a cracked skull, so instead, I used my-a own methods. I have-a the key right-a here." Dr. Mario reached in his pockets and pulled out a silver key.

"I'll go get him." Everyone watched as the doctor marched behind the giant chair. "Oh my…" he saw Dark Pit standing on the wall pulling against the metal bar.

"Ya know, he sorta reminds me of-a Merle from The Walking Dead."

"Yeah, that's what I said!"

"Fuck you asshole!"

"Calm down. I'm-a coming." Dr. Mario walked over to a very angry Pittoo and inserted the key into his lock and twisted it. Unfortunately, he turned it the wrong way and broke it inside the lock. The doctor held one half while the cuffs held the other. Some snickered, some backed away when they saw how the air around Pittoo turned red. Lucario jumped backwards.

"The aura!"

"Whoops...Heh heh, sorry about that Dark Pit. Heheh…"

"You, you did that on purpose! I should kill you right here!" he screamed, flying after Dr. Mario. Pittoo winced as the handcuffs dug right back into his scarred and bloodied wrist. Dr. Mario nervously walked back to the front.

"D. M. how's it shakin'!? Me too bro!" Crazy was going through a mood change.

"I uh, I broke-a the key…" He held up the key

"Bro, you're kidding. Welp, allow me to handle the situation! Everyone, please remain calm! Dark Pit will be just fine!"

"Doesn't deserve to be fine after what he's done…" mumble Pit. Palutena smacked a certain angel upside his head. "Ow! What did I do?"

"Quiet Pit."

"Yes mam…"

Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and a giant battle axe came from the sky.

"Psst...Falco. Isn't that Astaroth's axe from soul calibur?" Fox whispered.

"Wait...Holy shit you're right!" Falco's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Crazy grabbed the humongous axe and made it bigger with a mushroom. Now it was his size.

"That's more like it! Okay! Time to cut the chain!" Crazy sped behind the chair.

Dark Pit was still struggling against the cuff and had tears swelling in his eyes.

"This hurts so bad! Wait, where'd the sun go?" he said then looked over to see Crazy towering over him with an axe. Crazy lifted the axe up.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Don't do it, I'm sorry! Not like this!" he folded under pressure.

"Hold still Dark Pit! You wouldn't want to lose an arm would you!?"

"Yeah, with that I'd lose my life! Chill Crazy. Chill, chillchillchillchi-" Crazy swung the axe with a massive force, like a barbarian, and smashed the ground, the metal pole, the cuffs, and Pittoo. Rosalina covered her mouth. Crazy didn't just get the chain. He got a limb.

"Got it… wait...oooh...Reverse time!" Crazy yelled and snapped his fingers. Everything came to a yield, then reverse. The horrified looks on the smashers faces went back to marveled and then curious. Crazy stopped.

"Alright, what's going on now?" Dr. Mario nervously walked up to him.

"Lemme guess, you broke the key and now our bro is stuck?" Crazy said. Dr. Mario sadly nodded.

"Lucina, cut the chain."

"Oh, yeah, we could do that couldn't we? Well, I got it." Lucina walked back and there was a slicing noise. She walked back and Pittoo followed behind.

"Thanks babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever. Now, where is that doctor?" he scanned the area. "There you are! This is for locking me up!" he sped towards Dr. Mario, until he realized that he wasn't moving anymore.

"Hey, what's going on!?" Crazy was restricting him from attacking.

"Yeah bro, but I set a rule to where there's no fighting, unless you like solitary confinement."

"Please, I've already been through a solitary confinement. I'm not scared of being alone!"

"But you also lose the chance to rule the mansion with mildly limited power. Well then again bro, I didn't think you would be interested in that sort of thing. Attack Dr. Mario if you want." Crazy said, unrestricting him.

"..."

"So, you gon' fight? Or can we get this show ona da road? Bro?"

"Argh, damn it. It's not worth it. Well doc, you can at least fix up my wrist." he sighed, defeated. Dr. Mario walked over with gauze, a wrap of some sort, and alcohol.

"Hold still, this may hurt a little. We need to kill all of the germs that may have gotten on the wound."

"Your point is?"

"Don't move." Dr. Mario poured some of the alcohol on a cloth and dabbed it all around his wrist. Dark Pit winced and groaned.

"You could've said that it was alcohol. This burns, ow!"

"Hold still. This is also going to hurt." Master Hand took the wrap and tied it tightly around his hand.

"Ow, not so tight! You're pulling too hard!"

"That's-a what she said."

"Don't push it." he said through gritted teeth.

"Okay, and we're all done here. Now, let's get on with the show. Or game, rather." he said and stepped on the blue pad.

"One last thing. Really quick." Pittoo ran over to Samus and held out his hands expectantly. "Give it back."

"Keep talking that way and you're not getting anything." she retorted. It took every ounce of patience that Dark Pit had to not pry it out of her hands.  
"Can you give me back my Silver Bow...please." he said gently. Samus' eyes narrowed, then closed. She sighed and handed him back his weapons. Both parts. Dark Pit smiled as he grabbed and re-connected them.

"Thanks." he waved and flew back. She shrugged him off.

"Alright, can we finally get a move on!? I'm sick of not getting any action." Dark Pit fussed. "Sitting around is making me sick."

"Alright alright bro! Geez. Your round starts in…"

"3…"

"2…"

"Let's get started already!"

"Chill bro. You're totally ruining the moment."

"1…"

"IMPATIENT." a voice echoed.

"You think you're so fun-" The blue pad zapped them away.

"Thank goodness he's gone. Alright, all the bros on the chair!" Crazy shouted. Many of the smasher looked up at the giant thing. Most of them knew that there was no way they were making it up there.

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They started off walking side-by-side, like Cloud and Yoshi. It was dark and the atmosphere had a very heavy feel to it. Pittoo walked normally while Dr. Mario struggled to keep up.

"What are you doing? Come on."

"Wait, the gravity is-a much stronger here. Dont-a you feel it?" he said. Dark Pit put a finger up to his chin.

"Hmm...Nope, not a thing. Now, stop bs-ing around and let's go." he commanded.

"I-I-a need help." Dr. Mario said, collapsing to the ground.

"Ugh, can you be anymore pathetic?" he put a hand to his face. Dark Pit picked him up and hoisted him onto his shoulders (like an adult would hold a kid).

"You're a lot stronger than you look." Dr. Mario said. He held on to Pittoo's head.

"I've been lifting ever since I found out my idiot counterpart is higher than me on the tier list. I am better than him, I know it. I just need to show everyone how great I am!" he said. He quickly became pumped and started running full speed down the hall. Dr. Mario bobbed up and down on his shoulders.

"This is-a some determination! If I may ask a question, what exactly are you?"

"Excuse me? I didn't catch that."

"I meant who are you? You have Pit's name, only Dark Pit. Are you some evil version of him built up from all of his angers and worst fears?" he questioned. Dark Pit growled.

"You obviously don't understand how insensitive that question was. I'm my own damn person. But, if you want an explanation, you're out of luck. Just look up something called the Mirror of Truth. That should tell you enough." he said. Dark Pit was still running.

"So, what you're saying is you were created by the Mirror of Truth?" he asked. Dr. Mario took his silence as an okay to keep going. "A clone?"

"Incomplete clone. Now, that's enough about me. I'm more worried about you."

"Wait, one last question. What keeps-a you motivated? Why are you so-a pumped up?" Dark Pit smiled at the thought.

"I thought I already told you. I want to surpass Pit! To finally prove that I am better than all these morons, that's what keeps me going! I'm tired of being last! I am sick and fucking tired of always coming up last! So, if things don't happen in my favor, then I'll force them to! I'm going to win this tournament and demand to fight everyone here! To be the best, That's my dream!" he shouted with pride. Dr. Mario had never seen him grin so hard. He'd never seen him work so hard.

"Now doc, I have a couple of questions for you. Since we're a team of clones, how do you exist? I mean, aren't you Mario in a white coat?" he turned a corner to find a room full of spikes. There were floating platforms and large blades swinging and bombs shooting. He skid to a stop.

"Whoa." his eyes widened. So did Dr. Mario's.

"Okay, so doc, can you walk now?" He set him on the ground and immediately, he slumped over. Dark Pit sighed and picked the helpless smasher back up.

"Well, I guess you're sticking up there. Okay, I need you to keep perfectly still. Just don't move. I got this." he said. Pittoo took deep breaths and counted it out. He wanted to do this, just not with Dr. Mario. Not only was he a deadweight, but he didn't want to be responsible for him either.

"Okay, 3...2...1...GO!" He ran and jumped on the first platform. The blades was further ahead. He didn't need to worry about those now. The bombs however, shot straight at him. A large bomb came hurtling straight in his direction. Dark Pit jumped over it, but it blew up behind him and sent him teetering on the edge of the platform. He clenched his teeth and jumped to the next platform while also ducking under a giant murder saw.

"Shit that was close." he said relieved. He landed on the platform and reflected some of the bombs away. They ran rampant, spitefully destroying some of the obstacle.

"You okay Dr. Mario?"

"I'm-a fine. Heads up!" he snapped his head to the right and took a bomb to the face. He flew and hit the wall. A large blade swung towards him. He broke his Silver bow into two pieces and quickly blocked it. The blade didn't stop though. It threatened to crush him, just swinging the other way before smashing the jelly out of the team. But, when one problem cleared, another presented itself. He started falling towards the spikes.

"Damn damn damn!" He flapped his wings vigorously and was barely able to grab onto the edge of the platform. Dr. Mario started to slip off of Pittoo.

"You have got to be kidding me." he said as he grabbed Dr. Mario with one hand. He threw him onto the platform and drug himself up. Once he got up, he found that Dr. Mario was unconscious.

"Must've gotten knocked out from the wall smash. Welp, guess it's all up to me." he sighed as he grabbed a bomb and threw it at the blade in front of him. It exploded, sending the vile thing off it's hinges and into the death trap below. He was close to the end. He picked up the doctor and leapt to the next platform, but instead, he was clothes-lined by a metal pole. It hit him square in the face, making his anger spike and causing him to cuss under his breath. His nose bled like a fountain.

"Falling again!" He threw Dr. Mario again, but instead of the next platform, straight to the end. He was really close after all. He used his wings again, but they weren't strong enough to get him to the platform. He fell straight towards the deadly spikes. But instead of sitting there and waiting to be skewered, he grabbed on to the much slanted wall. He, of course, slipped, but also slowly made progress up it by climbing on his hands and feet.

"Man, this was a terrible idea." he said, fighting against the steep slope. You know that blade I told you he blew down earlier? Well, that's still here, and it's falling over. The dull part, made from ironwood and, well, iron. It creaked and groaned as it scraped against the spikes and lazily fell towards him.

"This just keeps getting better and better." With nowhere to run, he put his arms up and braced for impact. ( **Now, let me show you some calculations. This thing is made of not just Black Ironwood and Iron, but also a little bit of plastic. Anyways, a cubic foot of iron is 491 lbs, while a cubic foot of Black Ironwood is 84.5 lbs. So, put together, that's 575.5 pounds in a cubic foot. Throw in another 10 pounds from the plastic. But, it's not just a cubic foot falling on him. I mean hell, this thing is four times his size! For example, let's assume that Dark Pit is 5 foot 4. That makes the blade 21.6 feet tall. That's 16.2 feet taller than him! Now, pulling a little bit of stuff from physical science, 575.5 times 9.8 m/s equals 5639.9P which I need to multiply by 4 because of height which comes out to be 22559.6 kg*m/s2. That's enormous! For force and momentum! I myself am 6 foot 3, so that makes this thing at least 25.2 feet tall. Which is 18.9 feet tall than me. I can lift maybe, i dunno, 150? 165? Yeah, I wouldn't be able to stop this thing. Including the momentum!? That shit would crush me like I'm a damn walnut under its foot. But now you know how bad Dark Pit's idea is. And yeah, I took time out to search this stuff and make calculations. You're welcome.** ) He closed his eyes and tried his best not to fall. The air cried out loud as the giant object whooshed past it.

"Maybe this isn't the best idea. Yep, moving!" he said. He dove out of the way even if he did have sharp spikes waiting on him. The giant blade nearly missed him. Nearly. The big ol' handle fell and smashed into his ankle before he was able to get anywhere. His expression change from aggravated to straight pain. The impact shot up his entire leg like lightning.

"Fuck! Damn it!" was all he was able to gasp. He fought against the pain, if he didn't get a move on, he would fall and be skewered. He pumped his wings and burst into the air to the next platform.

"At least my recovery is good. Gah!" he tried to stand but fell backwards and almost off the platform.

"Ow ow ow! Man, I'm just tanking injuries today. Okay, one more platform and then the end. I can do this. I can do this." he tried to stand, but got the same results. Fine. If he couldn't use one foot, how about the other? He jumped up onto his left foot. Yes. Hopping the rest of the way there didn't seem the least bit pleasant to him, but what other option did he have? This time, the swinging blade had already been blown down, so all there was was bombs.

"Alright, here goes nothing. HEH!" he shouted. He almost crapped himself with all the effort he put into that jump. It was more pathetic than Little Mac's. He grabbed on to the same platform he just embarrassed himself on. Three minutes later, he was ready to try again. _Screw jumping!_ He thought to himself. Instead, he used his up special and flew straight over the last platform and right to the end. His momentum sent him flying a little bit farther than he usually would. He landed on the edge.

"Argh! Ow!" he cried. He had landed right on his bad ankle. Of course, he collapsed on the ground as usual. Before he picked himself up though, he noticed that Dr. Mario started waking up.

"It's about damn time. My arms were getting tired from carrying my team. Hey look, it's a button." There was a button on the wall. A large screen that had an arrow going down rested on the wall. Dr. Mario's face was on the button on the wall.

"Well how about that doc. I think I can fix you gravity problem. Stay right here." The dark angel army crawled towards the wall.

"Hahaha! I don't know why I'm laughing, but it's great! Hahaha!" Dark Pit giddily laughed. He jumped up on one foot and pressed the button. The sound of a generator powered down all the lights turned off.

"As if it wasn't dark enough already. Doc! Wakey wakey! Come on, there's work to do!" he shouted irritably. Dr. Mario sat upwards and shook his head.

"What-a happened."

"I'm not sure, but it's time to keep moving. Also, I hurt my ankle. Can you wrap it like you did my hand?"  
"Oh, okay. Let me-a see…" Dr. Mario stood up and inspected Dark Pit's foot. He touched it and moved it in different ways.

"Foot worship."

'Shut-a up. You're too young to know about that kind of thing." he said. Pittoo snorted.

"You're kidding right. Like seriously?"

"No. I'm being legit."  
"Ugh. How old do you think I am? For the love of gods and goddesses, I've had lust ever since I was born. You really think that I wouldn't j-ow! Stop it, that hurts! Don't touch it there! And if you make a joke I'll bash your skull in!"" he balled up his fist. Dr. Mario sighed and closed his eyes.

"Just as I suspected. Unfortunately for you Dark Pit, it's not your ankle that's damaged. Your foot is broken. I don't know how it's happened, but the way your foot is twisted, I can tell that the bone has been snapped. We'll get a full X-ray when we get back. But for now," he stopped mid sentence. Pittoo looked down to find that the doctor was crouched down waiting expectantly.

"What are you doing?"

"Hop-a on."

"What? Hell no! That's creepy!" Dark Pit turned away with a huff. "I can walk just fine."

"Oh? Then put-a your right foot-a down." Dr. Mario challenged. Dark Pit growled. Slowly, he lowered his foot and touched the ground.

"Ah-ah-ah. You-a have to put pressure on-a it." he smiled. Dark Pit cussed ( **or cursed, however you say it** ) under his breath. Slowly, he lowered his foot to the ground.

"Ai! Ow, okay! You win, but I'm not sitting on your shoulders."

"Then what do you-a suppose we-a do?"

"I suppose you fix up my damn foot!"

"Dark Pit, stop being difficult. You're-a wasting time and-a I don't want-a to miss out on-a the bonus room."

"You don't understa-"

"I don't-a want to-a hear it. Either you ride on my-a back or I'll drag you there." Now, normally if anyone demanded him what to do like that, he would tell them to go put their fingers up somewhere. But not only was Dr. Mario his partner, he was also right. He looked away frustrated and pulled himself on Dr. Mario's back. His face was red as a tomato and he mumbled things under his breath. Dr. Mario laughed to himself.

"Why are you blushing?" Dr. Mario teased.

"Shut the hell up! Get moving!" he yelled. The doctor chuckled and started moving finally.

"Seems like we've flipped the switch; traded places Pittoo."

"Do not call me that! Speaking of trading places, that brings me back to my question before. How do you exist? Aren't you just Mario in a white coat and a Master's Degree in...um...doctorism?"

"Of course not. I'm-a Dr. Mario and Mario is a Mario! We are-a two different individuals."

"Wait, I don't think you understand the question. Why do you exist? Wouldn't you be like a different character for Mario to be? For instance, Samus is just Samus in her powersuit while Zero Suit Samus is the same person, just out of her powersuit. So, what are you?"

"I'm-a Dr. Mario!"

"You know what? Fuck it. I don't care." he snarled. All of a sudden, Dr. Mario came to a sudden stop.

"Pittoo."

"I said not to fucking call me that!"

"It's dark. I can't-a see."

Pittoo facepalmed. "How many shits am I supposed to give?"

"A lot. Don't-a you hear it?"

"I don't hear anything. Stop making excuses. Get moving."

Dr. Mario sighed. "Don't-a say I didn't warn-a you." He started walking into the dark fog. Dr. Mario stumbled back and forth.

"I can't-a see!" Dark Pit saw clearly. Dr. Mario was walking straight towards simmering fire.

"Hey! What're you doing dumbass!? Trying to kill us!?" he yelled.

"It's too dark!"

"Oh, I understand. This is part of the challenge, where I have to guide you because you can't see anything. Yeah, well that's just perfect. Alright, stop." The murky fog swayed back and forth, consuming the area.

"This-a fog, it's kinda like-a the one on-a New Super Mario Brothers Wii on-a the first level on the-a eighth stage. Remember the fog? The poisonous fog?"

"Doc, I don't play a lot of video games okay? I don't know about this kind of shit. Now, take a step to the left." Step.

"Good. Now, walk forward."

"How-a much?"

"I'll tell you when to stop, just walk forwards!" Walk walk walk walk walk.

"Stop!" Dr. Mario jumped in the air ( **a little** ). Pittoo shook back and forth.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" he growled.

"Don't-a scare me like-a that! You know Pittoo, you could learn to be-a more co-operative."

"You know asshole, you could learn to call me by my actual name. Take a step to the left." Dr. Mario frowned. He was started to get tired of Pittoo's attitude. He knew what he was dealing with when he ended up partnered with him, but could definitely do without the lip.

"What-a am I avoiding any-a-ways?"

"Fire, spikes, chain-chomps, paparazzi, cream cheese, cameras, angry men, ladies on their periods. What does it matter you're avoiding!? Let's get out of here, so I can get my foot fixed."

"You're testing my-a patience, Dark Pit." he said. The dark angel scoffed, not blinking once.

"Bitch, you tested mine to the limits when you chained me up, got me exploded by that Crazy Hand, and then nearly squashed by a chair. Not to mention breaking the key in the lock."

"You-a think that stuff was on-a purpose!? You deserved most of it!" he fussed.

"Shut your damn mouth before I shut it for you." The tension rose in the room. Dr. Mario was contemplating dropping him onto the ground, but he needed him to get through the fog. Once they reached the bonus room though, he was free to ditch him. Dark Pit had his arms folded and head turned, It'd be easy to beat him up right now, but the doctor decided against it. He would also have to treat his injuries and solitary confinement didn't sound too fun. So, against all of his intentions and thoughts, he walked forward.

"Good. Anyways, take two steps to the right. Yeah, two steps to the forwards."

"To the forwards?"

"Shut up. You know what I mean." Step step.

"Hey look, it's the bonus room! Man, this can't get any easier!"

"Not-a considering the fact-a-that you broke your foot…"

"What was that!?"

"Nothing." Dr. Mario approached the large door that had the words 'Bonus Room! Think Fast!' engraved on it. Finally, the dark fog cleared out. Dr. Mario looked back and there was spinning saws and flamethrowers and guns and super killer murder robots. "Huh."

"Yeah. I think a thank you is required."

"I'm-a the one holding-a you. You should-a thank me instead."

"Let's just go. Carry me home, sweet chariot!"

"That's the last straw." Dr. Mario groaned as he slowly pushed the door open. It creaked and then gave in with a sorrowful moan and slid backwards. They stepped inside and were speechless to the site. Gold. Gold everywhere.

"Woah! That's-a more gold coins than I can-a count!"

"Rich! Rich I tell ya! Now I don't have to participate in the tournament for money!...Not that I'm going to quit or anything." Dark Pit shouted in joy. The two 'Men' ran around giddy babbling bunches of nonsense.

"Man, it doesn't get much better than this!" they said in unison. And then the voice was there.

"Ha! That's what you think! It doesn't get much WORSE than this!" all of the gold started turning into sand. Hot hot molten hot sand. There were no walls, and the air was blue. BLUE of all colors! Do you know how blinding that is!? *ahem* Anyways, the gold turned into sand that made the room HOT!

"Alright ladies, it's time for your bonus challenge! Now, as you can see, this 'gold' as you say, has turned into searing hot liquids in which you have to dive in! Find as many of these mushroom cards," the little speaker spit out a mushroom card, "and leave! Two minutes! Only two! And, if you're not out by then. Then I'll...Hmm… what will I do?...I forgot. Well I guess I'll just blow you up I guess. Only seems appropriate...this just got awkward fast...Challenge Start!" the speaker yelled and phazed out of existence. A gigantic clock with numbers that had skulls on them poofed out of nowhere, making question what this place really was. It's not even scary, it's just downright mysterious. And slightly creepy while being so. The room got hot and touched the sand-gold or gold-sand or whatever it is. He winced and pulled his hand back quickly. Must've been hot. Shaking his head, he backed up quickly.

Dark Pit wasn't too excited about jumping into molten gold just to get a bunch of cards neither. Not to mention the fact that it would sear his skin and destroy it forever. "Okay, what the hell? I don't know anyone stupid enough to jump in that. Let's leave."

"Wait-a-minute...Dark Pit, there's an item-a box over there." he ran to a far corner with Pittoo bobbing on his shoulders. It was a classic item box. Question mark on it just like the others. Spun just like the others. couldn't jump unless he wanted to ram Pittoo's skull into it, which he didn't. So instead, they did it the boring way and just had Pittoo punch it. Yeah, real fun. A-anyways, Dark Pit punched it and it went all brown.

"Great, it's a dud. Real useful. I want to punch the dumbass who did that…"  
"LOOK-A! IT'S A STAR!" cried out, pointing towards the star. It turns out something WAS in the box, the dark angel just didn't pay attention.

"What are you waiting for old man!? Grab it!" didn't too much fancy being called old man.

"DARK PIT, I CHOOSE-A YOU!"

"Wha-" The doctor spared no pity as he javelin threw Dark Pit at the star. No document can explain the boy's scream, but it sound like a raging baboon with a drinking problem. Pittoo flew (not with wings) straight towards the star. It looks like he will make it actually. Going going...And then there's always the moment when they miss. Well, not exactly 'miss' but not a direct hit either. He was close. _Super_ close. His hair scraped the bottom of the star, but he still fell pathetically.

"Damn you doc! Aaaaugh! Wait a sec…" he yelled. But then it hit him. The noise. The starman noise. He heard it. Everyone heard it. He looked at his hands. They were still the same color. But he plucked a strand of his hair out...I think you know where this is going.

Shocked. Speechless.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? MY HAIR IS INVINCIBLE!? IS THAT HOW IT WORKS!?" he fell straight towards a pile of gold-sand sand-gold. had tried. Tried to keep the laughter in. He meant to get the star, but missed. But that expression...Could only be someone is trying to hold back a laugh. His face twisted and turned, he put a hand over his mouth and even bent over. It wasn't enough.

"Bwahahaha! I'm-a sorry! Sorry sorry!" he laughed. Dark Pit was doing the opposite. It was a mixture of a hate-anger-cry thing where you're not really crying, but you feel like it because you're angry-scared. That kind of thing. He splashed right into the sand-gold gold-sand. Whatever demonic things he was saying was muffled under it. No screams of pain. No cries of hatred. No apology. ran over worried, 'cause the sand-gold gold-sand was very hot.

"Pittoo, can-a you hear me? Speak-a to me!" The was no response. The doctor nodded in response. He took off his (headgear thingie, ya know, the things that doctors wear) headband and put his head down in respect.

"BOO!" Pittoo jumped, scaring the living daylights out of him. Pittoo crawled out of the gold-sand sand-gold holding three cards.

"Miss me? Don't tell me you cried." he smirked. He pulled out both of his legs and stood up just fine.

"Dark-a Pit!? How did you-"

"It's not rocket science you imitation plumber. Straight from the can of peas."

"I am-a not an imitation! I am-a doctor!"

"Calm down doc. You might need _Anger Management_." laughed the dark angel. "It's hollow under." he signaled to the sand-gold gold-sand.

"But, your-a leg..."

"Guess what? I found a 1-up! Thank the heavens that I have your universes weird items. Anyways, about chucking me like a spear…" he said, smile disappearing. He looked at expectantly.

"..."

"Oh, now is not the time for you to be all silent! You know what you did! Own up imitation plumber!" that sure did get him flustered. "I'm-a not an imitation plumber! I am-a doctor!." he retorted. took a couple of breaths.

"Then again, why isn't are team name something like Broken Clones or Shattered Halo. That would be much more cool than Anger Ma-BLAAAH!" and Pittoo exploded in the most heinous and excruciatingly way possible. It seems that they had run out of time. They failed to find the blue pad, so all of the mushroom cards (aka items) were lost. They only received a huge pain in the ears and a gigantic headache. The sand-gold gold-sand disappeared ( **which is a relief, because I'm tired of typing gold-sand sand-gold. What a mixture.** ) and the air became clear again. The heavy blue fog washed away quickly, as if it we wiped by windshield wipers and fabreeze. The walls pushed themselves out of the ground and stood tall as the room began to shrink, pull itself inward until it was nothing but a closet sized, 10x10 square feet. The blue pad was right in front of the two smoked smashers. Dark Pit and Doctor Mario were charred like overcooked steak. Simmered and a little more well-done than they'd prefer.

Dr. Mario groaned and groggily stood up. He looked down at Pittoo who was whining in pain.

"I hate-a you so much…"

"Sh-shut up doc. Not in the mood."

"You got-a us exploded."

"Ow, it burns…" he said. Dark Pit didn't show any signs of getting up. The doctor sighed and grabbed his hand, dragging along the ground. The room was no more than four yards long. The two got on the blue pad with a time of fourteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Also no bonuses, with injury. These guys suck. The blue pad zapped them out of the challenge realm and back to the regular world.

Their challenge was complete and Dark Pit and were embarrassed as all hell. Looks from left and right only made them sulk to the ground. Pittoo was still down for the count and was just dragging him everywhere. Nobody really felt like dealing with Pittoo so they kept their comments amongst themselves. Crazy Hand silently floated towards the tiny podium.

"So," the hand said, clearing his throat, "it seems that we have reached our intermission. Everyone, no bathroom breaks and no moving. ALSO!" the hand screamed out for no reason. Some people covered their ears.

"Also, Dark Pit and , if you don't get up on the chair, I'll explode you just like the voice person did! See, look!" he exclaimed. He put his fingers as if to snap, but his supervisor calmed him down.

"Fine fine fine fine fine fine okay! Fine! Got i t yepe yep mmhmm. Get on the chair otherwise you'll end up just like Little Mac!" everyone's attention turned to Little Mac who was still failing to get on the gigantic chair. He bounced off of the walls and used his up-special, but nothing changed. He tumbled down and exploded once more. But he wouldn't give up. They followed him with his eyes. Up, up, theeeeen back down. Exploded again. looked at Pittoo laid out on the ground then looked up at the chair.

"Crazy Hand you buffoon! There's-a no way me or-a him can get up there! We-a need help!" screamed. Everyone winced to calling him a buffoon. Crazy Hand twitched.

"Okay! New idea! Don't get up there and everyone gets exploded! 1 minute!" Several groans came from the chair. Quickly, Link lowered Toon Link with his hookshot who had an outstretched hand. signaled towards Pittoo.

"Ditch him! There's like 50 seconds left!" Mega Man hollered. The doctor flung the dark angel straight into a dumpster and ran, jumped off of the wall of the chair and grabbed Toon Link's hand. They pulled him onto the chair, sending him rolling into a barrel. Use your imagination. The two did the same with Little Mac too. Everybody took deep breath that they got everyone that mattered up on the chair.

"Okay! Now, enjoy your intermission and we'll be back in a four minutes! Don't forget, no talking or I'll blow you up!" he teleported away and nobody moved. No sound, no movement. There was a loud banging noise. Over half of the smashers ran over to the side to see Pittoo climbing out of the dumpster with a banana peel on his head. They shushed him.

"H-"

"Shh!"

"Why can't I tal-Augh!" he yelled. Combined explosions blasted everywhere like fireworks on a july sky. Except, this one was filled with screaming pains and agonizing howls.

"GAH!"

"OWIE!"

"CURSE YOU DARK PIT!"

"IT BURNS!"

"IF THIS DOESN'T KILL YOU, I WILL PITTOO!"

"HOT DOGS ARE A DIFFERENT COMPOUND OF BUTTER!"

"WHAT!?"

"NOTHING IT JUST HURTS TO WHERE I'M SCREAMING THINGS THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW BECAUSE MY BRAIN CAN'T KEEP UP WITH-"

"SHULK, SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"THIS IS LIKE DEATH WITHOUT THE FEMALE! GET IT!? BECAUSE YOU GUYS THOUGHT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ACTUAL DIEING BUT INSTEAD I WAS TALKING ABOU-"

"YES SHULK! WE GET IT!"

And with every word resulted in another explosion.

 **Which team are you rooting for? Me too.**


	2. Teams 6-10

**Enjoy. By the way, since this became out of season, it is no longer christmas time, but just a regular spring with nothing happening. Alright then, have fun! (Sorry for my absence)  
**

* * *

"Okay, we're going to have to lay down some ground rules. Obviously, some of you don't understand the rules clearly," the tall staffman said. He tugged at one of his gloves, sliding it up his dark skin. "Thus, leading to many...problems." he eyed Pittoo who was pouting in the corner. "Crazy Hand has been surprisingly tolerant and I personally would like to keep him that way. And that might change if you all aren't advised how the competition goes. As you can see, Crazy has his seasons mixed up. And also, the last chapter was so long ago that we also seem out of season." The man tugged more on his gloves. Marth looked confused.

"What do you mean by 'last chapter'? This isn't some reality TV show. At least, I hope not."

"Marth, you obviously don't fully understand how the fourth-wall works. I am having this conversation with the all of you to point out that the competition is changing because how out of season it is. Everything that happens isn't merely by coincidence. Whatever happens, another 'being' makes happens and whatever series of events that take place, a being creates it, makes it possible, and broadcasts it to other sources. Now, enough destroying walls. My real point is that, legs have been broken, balls have been smashed, people have died in alternate timelines, and the men were possessed. We need a change. Samus, please put on your powersuit." Samus raised an eyebrow, but still did as she was told.

"Now, come here." Samus silently walked forward. The tall, dark, and handsome staffman slowly walked around her, thinking.

"Okay, go sit down." There were lots of what's and huh's from the large group. Samus sat, as she was told.

"Now, does everybody get it?" he asked and when nobody responded, he sighed.

"Samus did as she was told. No matter how useless or pointless the request seems, you will follow. And incase you were wondering, I had her equip her powersuit so some of you wouldn't think that I was being perverted. Now, is everyone ready for the new set of rules?" he took their silence as a yes. "Alright then. Let's start. Rule #1: You will do what you are told. Rule #2: Profanity is strictly prohibited. This is now a Family-Friendly show."

"Well that's bullshit." Pittoo mocked.

"Watch yourself Spittoo. That's your first and last warning."

"What did you ca-" a gun banged in the air.

"Child, that is enough. Keep your mouth closed." Bayonetta warned. She shot him a look that put him down. Bayonetta was known for slaying angels, so Spi-err, Pittoo kept his mouth shut. The secretary regained his posture.

"Thank you Bayonetta, but please prevent from using violence. Next ru- what is it Shulk?" Shulk had his hand raised.

"Did you say something about a 'show'?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Yes, I did. This is being broadcasted around the world, even in different dimensions. Right now, we're on commercial, so we better hurry up."

"We're on TV!?" Zelda shouted and quickly checked herself to make sure she looked her absolute best.

"Back to business. Rule #3: Any type of fighting or wrestling outside of the challenge area is prohibited. Rule #4: Try your best to get along." he looked at Pittoo and Samus when he said this. "We need for us to not have more trouble. Rule #5: Do not bring any outside items or objects besides what you fight with into the challenge area. If caught cheating, you will be disqualified and punished. Rule #6: Above all, try to have fun. This is for your own entertainment by the way. Other than that, we'll continue the contest. This is for power and money." He laughed. He had one of those laughs that made other people laugh. The assistant came to a short stop to his laughter. A stern look crossed his face.

"Wait, one of you is missing...Aha. Where is Princess Toadstool?" Everyone looked at Luigi for some reason. He slightly quivered at the sudden attention.

"O-oh. You mean-a Peach. She-a said that she had to-a go to the bathroom. Which was about 15 minutes ago. Almost when-a you called the competition to a pause." Everyone gasped.

"Oh no! What if she was captured by Bowser!? Whatever shall we do?" Sheik joked. Some people looked at Bowser, who was confused.

"The Missing Princess Escapade!™ A detective novel." That got people cracking up. Captain Falcon flashed a smile. The tall, dark, and handsome staffman held a hand up in the air and hushed everybody.

"Okay everyone, jokes over. This is a serious matter, because if Crazy Hand got ahold of her...Let's just say that he has always been infatuated with you smashers. I'm afraid that he might do something...rash." A vision flashed through Shulk's mind, apparently something that could happen. He clutched his head and sat down. After a few minutes, he sat back up and raised his hand. The staffman acknowledged him.

"Yes Shulk?"

"I just had an ironic vision. All I saw was Princess Peach in a tuxedo. She didn't look too happy."

"Princess Peach in a tuxe-Oh no. If you'll excuse me…" He pulled out what looked like a book and began to write in it. He closed it, and almost immediately, a portal opened at his feet. He put a long arm into it, pulling out a rocket-launcher with a large blade on the top. He put it on his back and pulled out an umbrella. As soon as he opened the umbrella, rain fell hard from the sky. The man walked away, telling the smashers that the competition would resume in another 10 minutes.

The smashers gathered in their teams and spread all around the yard, ignoring the sounds of explosions and Crazy running back and forth. Everyone discussed their plans be it that they are to come up next. Sheik tried her best to communicate with the Mii Brawler, but to no avail. She pounded her head in on a wall.

"Why did I have to get one of the few people who can talk. Even the translator doesn't make sense. Where's that stupid staffman when you need him?" There was another explosion. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

"SAY WHY DON'T WE CARDS AN COMPTIPUTE?" The translator said. Sheik looked at the Brawler.

"I swear to you, if the next thing that comes out of that translator is more nonsense, I can't promise that the next couple of hours will be safe for you." Two gigantic doors flung open before Mii Brawler had the chance to reply. The staffman hauled a beat-up Crazy on his back (with no effort) and Princess Peach followed behind.

"Okay everyone. We are ready to start again. Please take your seats. Or seat rather." Little Mac looked at the gigantic chair and cried in the corner. Most people just hopped right up. Only people left were the ones with low recovery. Ganondorf, Roy, etc.

"Oh yes, about that…" He tossed Crazy to the floor, making the entire ground shake. Once again, he pulled out a pocket book and scribbled something into it. Everything rumbled, the dark cement raising from the ground, each layer stopping at a certain point making a path of ascending rectangles. A rug spread itself down until it reached the bottom. Everyone looked at the impossibleness of this impossible. Stairs. Little Mac ran as fast as he could up the and onto the chair, his greatest achievement. The man slipped his pocket book away as if nothing happened.

"Anyways, we need to get going. We've been at commercial for 15 minutes, which is unacceptable. Dr. Mario, please come hit the random button. And please be gentle, these things are expensive." Dr. Mario strolled up to the button as the teams started spinning furiously. The doctor pulled his arm back, and with great force, simply clicked the button. Nothing happened. He pressed the button a little harder.

"Why-a is this button sticky?"

"Sticky? Couldn't be." The staffman answered. "Press harder."

"3...2...1..AND WE'RE LIVE!" a cameraman shouted.

"Where the hell did you come from!?" Falco jumped back.

"Language Falco."

"This-a stupid thing isn't-a working!"

"Try again Dr. Mario!"

"He literally wasn't there before!"

"Falco, hush! Smash it doc!" the staffman was getting nervous.

"Let's-a do it!" the doctor jumped up and ground pounded the button. It barely even moved.

"Somebody come hit this button! Now!" The staffman yelled as people started leaping off of the gigantic chair.

"Sir, your mic is still on! They can hear you!"

"Shoot! Turn the camera off! Send them an advertisement!" The cameraman fiddled with the camera, trying his best to cut out the chaos going on and the sounds of explosions behind him.

"FALCON KICK!"

"GO MY LUMA!"

"BUTTON ATTACK MUCH AIN'T YOURS!"

"ANGELIC MISSILE!"

"IT'S-A MARIO"S TURN! TAKE-A THAT!"

"HYDROSHOCK!"

"I CAN'T TURN THE CAMERA OFF!"

"It's absolute pandemonium!"

"ELWIND!"

"TASTE MY APEX SCREWATTACK!"

"Stand back everyone! It's time for the Climax!" Bayonetta Mega Evolved into Madama Butterfly!

Madama Butterfly uses Fist Pound!

Critical hit!

It's super effective!

Button has fainted!

Success!

Gained 7 xp.

Gained Button Fragments.

Gained the lead.

"Nice going Bayo. You broke the button." Link said, staring at the puddle of what was once the random button.

"Quiet."

"Uh, sir? We're still live." the cameraman whispered. The staffman had his hand on his face while he figured out what to do.

"Okay, I've got a better idea. Kirby, come here." Kirby followed.

"Swallow that button and see if you can get button activation powers." Kirby, who loved to eat most anything, happily obliged. He swallowed the button and started flashing colors. Finally, he stopped and turned into Plasma Kirby.

"Oh, right. It IS a random button. This henders plans a bit…Different idea. Kirby, try using your plasma abilities to power the, well, 'Game'." Kirby shot out bolts of electricity and the spinner spun the teams again, stopping on team 'Peachy Flight'.

"Good! It works! Regarding team Peachy Flight on the other hand, Peach," he turned to her. She was still shaking in the corner. "Ah, yes. Peach is still traumatized at the event that nearly took place, so Falco, being her partner, you'll have to wait."

"Damn it."

"Falco, this is the last time I will tell you. Jacob, I take it you did censor that, correct?"

"Yes sir!"

"Wait, how come he gets two warnings!? That's unfair!"

"Shut up Dark Pit. Kirby, initiate the respin." The teams flew from top to bottom, stopping on team ' _High-Tech Spirit_ '.

"High-Tech Spirit, you're up! Mega Man, Olimar, please stand on the blue pad.

As things were finally getting started, more trouble aroused. A breach as you might say, but just not yet. Someone's been screwing around with the systems set. Soon there will be more, when Crazy wakes up. The staffman has a feeling he'll be up-set. Going to the competition, it'll finally start. Teams 6 through 10 fight with big hearts. Mega Man and Olimar are first to go. They intend to do the best to put on quite a show. Who will win, you'll never know. Unless you continue on with the interesting trio of Olimar, Mega Man, and a blue Pikman. Or should I say quadrio. Maybe even pentio. No. This team.

* * *

Olimar was (spawned) in a different area than Mega Man, only to notice that he was literally in the ceiling. Or at least, a floor above him. Looking ahead, he could tell that their challenge would definitely be like team Anger Management. Except, they could see every last trap and trick and death. Why is it they want people to live when at every single moment it seems the exact opposite? Mega Man walked down the hall of horrors when a loud shriek caught him off guard. He jumped back and readied his aim. Mega Man didn't talk much. It's not that he doesn't know how to talk. He just doesn't usually find the need to communicate with others. But it seemed like this challenge requires lots of communication on both parts. Olimar on the other hand...He could talk, but he mostly refused to. He talked using sign language for whatever reason, and even though that it's not solid English, Crazy found this enough to not give him a translator. Which only makes this challenge harder. Crazy allowed Mega Man to use SOME power-ups and abilities from his previous adventures. Not many, but a couple. (Real quick, I AM NOT A MEGA MAN EXPERT! He may be my second favorite ssb4 character and I'm a fan of his and all of the other mega men outside of smash, but that doesn't mean I know exactly what I'm doing at this point. Please forgive me if I end up getting some of his abilities wrong or they're inaccurate. Also, Olimar does not talk. Oh, and one more thing, I like peanut butter. Okay, thanks.) He heard footsteps above him. Many footsteps. Remembering that Olimar has many little flower plant thingies, ease overcame him. All of a sudden, with the sound of something unlatching, a giant door in the ceiling opened, dropping three Pikmin in, a blue one, a yellow one, and a white one, which is strange, because Mega Man wasn't sure if the white ones made it to the tournament. He brushed that thought aside that Olimar may be able to use all of his Pikmin. Moving on, the walls were narrow, especially when one would brush their hands upon it, feeling that it was very damp. A creaky chandelier swung over a massive hole in the ground. Mega Man rolled his eyes, knowing what he obviously had to do.

"Looks like I've got to swing on this chandelier." he mumbled under his breath.

* * *

"Hey, it's kinda like that one song. Where the lady says she wants to swing on the chandelier. Man, what was that song called again?" Little Mac said aloud.

"I reckon that there song you's talking about is called 'Chandelier." It was made by some dame call Sia!" King Dedede said, patting his stomach.

"Thanks, I couldn't remember. Wait, didn't she also make that song called 'Me Myself and I'?"

"No no no! That was made by Eminem!" the king pouted. Kamui shook her head.

"Wrong. I'm pretty sure that song was made by Baby Rexa and G Eazy."

"Are you sure? I thought those two made that song 'Friends with the Monster' or something." Link shook his head. Kamui sighed.

"Link you schmuck, that was Rihanna and Eminem."

"I knew it was Eminem! I told you girlie!" The king belched.

"No! Not that song."

"If you are to speak amongst each other, do it quietly. Some people would like to enjoy this, quietly." The staffman said.

"I'm getting real sick of your crappy rules…" Pittoo mumbled. The staffman sighed and pulled out his pocketbook, erasing something on the inside. Slowly, Dark Pit's mouth disappeared, along with his ability to speak. He tried to talk, but muffled sounds came out.

"That's better. As soon as you learn to behave and act like appropriately, you can have your mouth back. Hehe, that actually sounds silly." he chuckled, then put away his pocketbook and pen. Pittoo sank up against the back of the green chair, crestfallen. His mouth was gone, which meant he couldn't be himself. So cold…

"Now, everyone, please turn your attention back to the screen. Be fair to team High-Tech Spirit as they will do to you. There were groans and mumbles all around. Mega Man was actually swinging on the chandelier.

* * *

The blue (Ro)bo(t/y) hopped onto the next side, his Pikmin following him close behind. As he strolled forwards, the little ones tripped and trampled each other to keep up. He approached yet another door, and not too long after, followed by some sets of footsteps, the door unlatched and let him through.

"Hm...Olimar? Can you hear me?" he called out. A loud whistle sounded in response. The next hall was nothing but empty. Well, not empty. Hundreds, no, thousands of buttons aligned the walls and floor. Another door was at the very end.

"Hey, watch your step you guys. Don't touch anything." the Pikmin nodded. Mega Man walked to the very back of the hall and stood by the door, waiting for it to open.

"I wonder what Olimar is doing. I can't hear him anymore…Oh well, guess I'll have to wait. Take five guys!" They stared at him, waiting for their next command.

"What?...What!?" the white one tapped him on the leg and pointed to the far wall. The walls were closing in and giant death spikes stuck off of the farthest wall, coming closer. Then the horrible voice arrived.

"Okay, I'm back. What did I miss-er, I mean I'm back! You seem to be in a real pinch huh? Alright, I can see you don't have much time before you get crushed and die, so I'll make this quick. Push the buttons on the walls to open the door above you for your pal. Then, they will have to do the same for you. Be quick, as slacking on either of your parts will be trouble for the other! Okay, blah blah blah, go!" The Wall of Death moved quickly towards the four.

"Guys, you heard the thing! Move it or we're nothing but spare parts! Or I'm nothing but spare parts." It was a bad joke. The Pikmin threw themselves at buttons, working even faster with Olimar being mentioned. The buttons that were pressed stayed where they are, permanently. The blue bomber desperately hit buttons as fast as he could. Even though there were many different buttons, the Wall of Death moved at an alarming rate.

"Wait, I have an idea…" He equipped GutsMan's ability. "Never used it this way, only to pick things up. Man, I hope this works." Mega Man ran towards the Wall of Death and pushed against it, slowing it down immensely. His feet scraped against the ground, sending sparks in every direction. "Well what do you know!? It's working! Guys, keep button mashing! Heh heh...button mashing."

"Hey! That's cheating!" screamed the voice. "Well, I guess you got me."

"Hah! Showed him."

"Just kidding bitch!" The wall flew down the hall. (And it rhymed.) Mega Man was nothing but a paper weight compared to the wall. He made sure to keep away from the spikes.

"Crap crap crap! BombMan!" He threw bombs at the opposite wall. It blew it open without the needs for buttons. The Pikmin, wide-eyed, ran as fast as they could.

"So that's how you want to play it…" said the voice. The next door had visible locks on it. Mega Man tried blowing it up, but it was made of stronger material.

"Gee, I sure hope Olimar's alright...CutMan!" He threw buzz saws at the locks, cutting through them and making the door fall down.

"Haha!"

"Damn you boy! I will crush you!"

* * *

"Man, that thing sure is violent. Hey staffman, didn't you say that swearing is off-limits?" Rosalina asked.

"Yes, I did. But I actually have no idea what that thing is. Luckily, we have a censor activated. Now no cussing, adult content, lewdness, use of drugs or smoking, etc. We're really putting the lock on this one. Once again, this is a-"

"'Family Friendly show we get it." Sheik mocked. The staffman reached for his pocketbook.

"No wait! I'm sorry."

"That's better. I do have a question though. Dr. Mario, come here."

"Oke-doke!" The doctor jumped off the chair and broke his legs-I mean jumped off the chair and landed on his feet. The staffman whispered something to him.

"Yes. How is Ike's condition?"

"Don't-a worry. Give him a little more time and he'll be perfect. There was minor bleeding though. I had someone patch it."

"With what?"

"Gorilla Tape. Good as-a new!"

"You're kidding right?"

"No. We don't-a have many supplies here. We had to stop the bleeding somehow. Very bad. I just hope I'm-a not the one who-a has to tell him…"

"Will he be able to compete?"

"I don't-a know. Maybe yes, maybe no. It all depends on how he feels."

"Does Death know?" he stuttered.

"No! Why-a the hell would I-a tell her-a that!?" Dr. Mario said.

"She needs to know the consequences to her actions. I want you to tell her."

"Hell-a no!"

"Dr. Mario, please watch your language. Besides, I need someone to. It's not like I could get someone else to do it."

"Why don't-a you do it?"

"Of course not! One, it's ungentlemenlike and two, it's such an awkward situation to address one about! I refuse."

"Then what are you-a gonna do?" Dr. Mario folded his arms and sighed. "We'll have to find a guinea pig." They both simultaneously looked at the hedgehog. "I'll-a go get him. But we better make this quick, I'm missing the show!" he said and stormed off. The staffman cleared his throat and waited for the battle. Sonic and the doctor strided alongside each other.

"Yeah, you called?"

"Sonic, please keep your voice down. I have a little 'job' for you…"

And so the narrato-ahem, staffman told Sonic about the job he had for him, and surprisingly, he agreed.

"Under one condition…" he smirked.

"What!?" the staffman growled irritably.

"Chilidogs!"

"W-what? Really?"

"Well, what else would I ask for? Money? A 'favor'? New shoes?..actually I could use some new shoes...But anyways, that's my request."

"Deal." he scratched some stuff down in his pocket boot and a portal appeared, dropping not one, not two, but fortyseven Chilidogs. Sonic smiled.

"Not what I was expecting, but whatever. Be right back."

"Hold-a on a minute! Sonic, why did-a you agree so easily?" Doctor Mario asked. Sonic shrugged.

"Well doc, to be honest with you, nothing can actually go worse for me. I mean, most of my adventures have been fun, but looking back on them, what I've become. People hate me. I've had a job as a knight, transformed into a werewolf-hedgehog, even been super-sized with some friends of mine. But as people found things out about what I've done and who I am, they strongly dislike me. I don't know where I went wrong, but I realized that I'm not here to put on a show for ANYONE. I do things my own way and the way I like it. Go on crappy adventures, eat chilidogs, just have a good time. And not care what anyone thinks, because they're not me and no one could be a better me than me. Otherwise, I'm not me. My point is, it's just another thing I've done in a book about nothing. Besides, Robi-err, Death should be the one who's embarrassed about making Ike bust a nut. Welp, I'll see you later." and he walked as the wind blew, washing the sentimental silence away.

"Wow. All-a I did was ask-a him why. Didn't need a sob story to-a go with it. Also, I don't-a think he knows what it-a means to bust a nu-"

"Thank you doctor!" the staffman cut off. "This is a family-friendly show."

"They can-a hear us?"

"Everyone needs to know exactly what's going on."

"..."

"..."

"I'm-a going to go get my camera. I want-a to see Death's reaction…"

* * *

"No no no!" Megaman yelled as he threw more objects at the incoming doors. He almost been slammed into mush several times, and was getting very anxious.

"Will it ever end!?" he cried out, using Iceman's ability next. After destroying the next door, and still holding against the death slammer, Megaman felt slightly relieved that he didn't see anymore doors. But as little as it was, it stayed briefly. There was no door. THERE WAS NO DOOR. Only an indestructible wall and some boarded up floors. Each of the Pikmin double-taked as if they couldn't believe what was about to happen. They looked at Megaman.

"What? Don't look at me! Is this thing getting faster!?" Megaman's feet scraped the bottom of the floor roughly. The end was near. And it came pretty damn fast. But just remember. The End Is Never The End Is Never The End Is Never. Got it? Good.

Megaman was losing hope. He turned towards his faithful companions who, were too, struggling.

"Okay, I know what's about to happen. But just don't think about it. It'll hurt horrifically, but think of something else! Like molasses or something." the wall came quickly, and Megaman knew that it was over. That wouldn't stop him from trying, though. As soon as the wall came, he jumped upwards, keeping his hands on the wall of punishment and pushing off the wall with his feet. The impact hurt, but left them in the competition.

"Augh! Well, now what?" he said through gritted teeth(?) While being pressed to death, he noticed the boarded up floors that were mentioned earlier. An idea popped into his head.

"H-hey! You guys still alive!?" The Pikmin stood on the floor below, waving. "Y-yeah. Real funny! Anyways, move out of the way." Megaman didn't have anymore energy to shoot more bombs or saws. So he pointed at the ground, charged up his mega buster, and blew the floorboards away, revealing a hidden passage below. The Pikmin each jumped down.

"Okay, now to get away from this thing…" He scanned the small area quickly, but to find nothing. Suddenly, the killer murder wall powered down, letting the blue bomber fall into the hole dumbfounded. The three Pikmin had pull a lever labeled 'SUPER ULTRA KILLA SPIKEY DEATH PLATFORM BLAST BEAM WALL' and it had shut it down. Olimar sat in a corner sipping a cup of tea (inside his suit).

"Oh hey. When did you get here?" Megaman asked. Olimar broke out in mad sign language.

*Translation*

"I got here about 10 minutes ago. It was just a straight walk down a boring hall with a wooden stick following behind us. There was also a door. It opened automatically. How are you?"

"How am I!? You're telling me that you just walked down a hall? I was almost smashed to oblivion by a giant homicide machine spike! And the button to deactivate it was here. Why did you not press it!?" he stomped over.

"I thought it would activate a trap." he concluded. Megaman stayed silent for most of the time, but right now, that silence meant that he was absolutely confused. Done. Olimar's Pikmin surrounded him, including the ones that accompanied Megaman. Ahead of the two lie the bonus room. (second bonus room isn't revealed until team 'Embraced Blades'.) The cracked open the two tiny doors and realized that only the Pikmin could fit in.

* * *

Sonic walked over and pulled Death aside on some 'official' business. Dr. Mario peeked around the corner holding a camera, as if things weren't already on camera. Death looked confused, if not agitated.

"I have some news for ya. It ain't good either." Sonic said through a mouthful of chili dog. She sighed.

"What did Robin do?"

"Oh no, not him. Unless you're referring to yourself. It's actually about Ike." Her expression changed slightly.

"Where is he anyway?"

"In the infirmary. Remember when you drove your foot in his genitals? Yeah, well you burst one. Absolutely painful. Blood everywhere. He's in critical condition because he's lost so much blood and the medics don't know if they can save him." Death covered her mouth.

"Y-you're joking right!?" she choked out.

"You never, ever joke about another man's parts. Don't believe me? Here's some reports from Dr. Mario." Sonic handed her some papers with his other hand, since he was holding three dogs in one hand. She quickly scanned the reports with worried eyes.

"We don't have the supplies to patch it or really help him. I just hope you know the consequences to your actions. Your nickname IS 'Death' now, so I guess it makes sense. Please return to your seat." Sonic turned around to walk away.

"Oh Gods, what have I done?" she cried out into the heavens. Dr. Mario snickered around the corner. Sonic peeked around and the doctor gave him a thumbs up.

"Doc, I got one question."

"What-a is it?"

"Did you really use tape?" he scratched his head while Dr. Mario cracked up.

"Pfft-hahaha! No! Why-a, hahaha! Why-a in the mushrooms would I do that? Hahaha! Look at her! She's running in circles! What a moron! Hahaha!" Sonic was confused.

"So, is he okay?"

"Of-a course he is! I'm-a the best of the best. Haha. Whooo. Man, what a hoot. Ike's perfectly fine. There was bleeding, but whatever. It's- fine now. Look, now-a she's talking to herself!"

"Uh...Doctor...I think she's praying…"

"Same thing."

"Should we just leave her like that? What if she tells the others?" Sonic asked, and for the last time, the doctor laughed.

"Tell her? No-o! Besides, she won't-a tell the others unless she-a wants the men to change again. Leave her-a be. Wait-a for Ike to return. In about, 15 minutes." Dr. Mario and Sonic left, leaving the tactician with her thoughts.

Megaman and Olimar walked out of the challenge arena to see the rest of the smashers in a...Well, trouble. Red sirens rung everywhere and rather than doing something about it, people ran in circles.

"We're all going to die!" King Dedede yelled, apparently forgetting how strong he was. The Staffman was pacing back and forth. R.O.B. blasted around the area for no reason.

"What's going on!?" Megaman asked the staffman.

"There has been a breach! I'm trying to calm everyone down!" he shouted over the sirens.

"What kind of breach!?"

"It has to be some kind of squadr-"

"You know what? I don't want to know. I'm going to go...I don't know, use the bathroom or something."

"But your body doesn't need to go-"

"I KNOW." Megaman walked away from the chaos. A walkie talkie sounded in the staffman's hand.

"krtzz-Sir! I'm scanning the area! Give me a minute, over."

"Good. Over." after a small while, the man keyed in again.

"Sir, reports show that they're closing in on your area! Over!" The staffman looked up. And sure enough, falling from the ceiling were those responsible for the breach. The sirens stopped. Six people landed on the ground, right on their feet in a totally epic manner. Everyone stopped and stared wide-eyed at the group. Samus lit up at the sight of one of them. A sword wielder drew his blade, ready for an attack. The leader of the group put his hand to his lips, removing his cigarette. He looked straight at Crazy, who lay unconscious on the ground. Then he turned to the staffman.

"So," he began. "Where's our invitation?"

* * *

"Snake!" Samus called and ran over to him. Now, Samus wasn't one for affections and stuff, but seeing the one person that she could actually tolerate after hearing he was kicked off of the tournament, (for unknown reasons) really brightened her mood. She nearly tackled him.

"Snake! It's been too long." she said, having him in a tight hug (more like chokehold).

"How's it hanging Sammy?"

"I told you not to call me that…" Snake pointed behind himself.

"I brought company. Wolf, Popo and Nana, Pichu, and Double L. We were at the cuthouse and saw you guys on TV doing...this. Wolf thought we should be a part of it too, so we're here. Anyways, why is the hand on the floor? And where is Master Hand?" he asked, ignoring the glares he was getting from Zelda. Zelda never did like Snake. Which is an understatement. She despised him. (But that's another story, so just use your imagination.)

"AHEM-" the staffman exclaimed. "I hope I'm not interrupting something. Solid Snake, what is the meaning of this!? You just barge your way in here and declare that you're participating!? Am I reading this correctly!?" he shouted in his more than angry voice. Snake didn't even blink.

"And who are you?"

"Why I'm-...then again, I haven't told anyone my name. I-It doesn't matter! Why couldn't you simply knock rather than sending this spiraling out of control? Behave yourself!" Wolf yawned.

"Shut up old man. I'm sick of your damn whining." After quickly erasing something in his pocketbook, Wolf too lost his mouth. So he joined Pittoo, Although he didn't know him. They both rocked back and forth in the corner. Double L (Young Link, but Snake made a nickname for him being 'Little Link' then he nicknamed him again off his nickname. Double L. Or L.L.) stepped away from the impossibleness of that impossible. He couldn't speak, he didn't know English. After a while, Snake got tired of his constant shouts and wails of communication, and decided to sentence him to utter silence. At first, he was totally against it. But after a while, he learned to communicate through a different way than back at home. Fart sounds. Just kidding. He learned to speak spanish. He knew VERY little English. Or at least, how to speak it. He understood it, but just couldn't pronounce it worth shit. So he found that he was able to speak and learn spanish very well. Somehow. (I will translate L.L. for you dearest.)

"What kind of black magic are you working with man!?" said Double L. Snake looked back and forth between Wolf and the staffman.

"Now Snake, I don't appreciate this behavior at all, but I am curious in the skills you may possess. Lucky for you, Crazy is asleep. I'll humor you and the others just this once Snake. But any slip-ups and I'll throw you out myself." He walked to some computers and entered some new players and the teams they were in. To keep it from being bias, he had to mix up some of the existing teams that hadn't already participated with the new smashers joining.

"Alright everyone, some of your teams have been switched. I won't tell who though. Except for Sheik. I'll tell you for Mii Brawler's sake. Your new partner is Greninja. And Greninja, your partner, Luigi, will be instead teammates with Pichu. Everyone else will have to wait to see who their new partners are. Those whose teams changed of course. Now, enough malarkey. Let's get back to the competition. Blue Pikmin, hit the BRAND NEW random button please." The teams spun like mad, waiting for the random button to be pressed. The Pikmin had no idea what he was talking about. Olimar had to throw him on top of it, in which he did. The spinner stopped on team ' _Chrom's Lovebirds_ '. There were many chuckles and giggles. Everyone who got the joke shot Lucina and Robin glances, as they figured out what's going on.

"Chrom? Wait what?" Robin scratched the back of his head. Lucina looked the same way. Then they noticed themselves on the screen. Robin looked back. Then to Lucina.

"Now wait just a minute!" he stuttered. "It's not like that, I swear! Chrom would have my head!"

"Hey, just because we see eye-to-eye with some things,-"

"MOST things." Captain Falcon corrected.

"Just because we see eye-to-eye with most things doesn't mean we're in love…" she said. Peach looked at her peculiarly. Not saying Peach was stupid, but it took her a little longer to understand somethings than others.

"Wait, then why are you blushing?" she said innocently. It wasn't until Palutena whispered to her that she fully got it."

"W-what? I'm not blushing! It's just hot in here! Ahem- , can we please start now?" she asked him. He looked up from a novel about pigeons.

"Hm? Ah-Oh yes, of course. Robin. Lucina. Please stand on the blue pad." he waved, going back to his pigeons. As the timer counted down to one, Robin and Lucina flipped off each and every one of the smashers. Except for Toon Link, Lucas, and Ness. Everyone loves Toon Link, Lucas, and Ness.

"Screw you lowlife degenerates! See ya!" and they warped out of the area.

"What the fuck is a degenerate?" Roy asked Marth.

"Roy, come here."

"Oh shit," he whispered. "I forgot about the no swearing." he stalked over to the staffman. Everybody went on as usual except for Corrin. Who was actually offended.

"Hmph! Rude. I did nothing to deserve such treatment, let alone be leveled as everyone else." he folded his arms.

"Calm down Corrin. It's not that serious. Besides, you've been called worse things back at home. Just chill out." Kamui said.

"Fine. Still, that was unnecessary."

"Yeah, well, people are going to be people. You remember when we first got here right? How everyone was an asshole except for Mario, Luigi, Toon Link, Lucas, Ness, Pit, and Rosalina? Even though I just met her, but everybody else gave us shit for being newcomers and not being the guys they wanted to come. Compared to that, this is mild bro. At least we have something to show for it."

"Which is?" he asked.

"Ma ahsome skillz." she struck a pose. Corrin laughed. Everyone turned their attention to the screen to see team Chrom's Lovebirds in action.

* * *

Lucina was in a dark room. She had a problem. Although she's been in battle many of times, she never did favor scary or horror things. And by 'favor', she was plenty afraid. Just something about the feeling...The cold grasp of loneliness and being watched...Isolated amongst the spirits...demonic beings lurking around every corner with a thirst for blood...mindless savages hunting the living...Unnatural killers...Hollow ghosts...She hated all of it. With her hand on her Falcion, she readied to kill anything that moved. Something short and stubby waddled past her, brushing her leg. She let out a small yelp and regained her composure.

"Got to find a way out of here…" the creature brushed past her leg again. This time she was startled even more.

"Eek! Kill it! Kill it!" she cried out, stomping on the creature and slicing it to bits. She took a deep breath. "Come on Lucina. You've dealt with worse. You can do this. Just a dark room. What could possibly be here besides you?" someone tapped on her shoulder.

"Eek! Kill it!" she turned sharply and sweep kicked the person, bringing her sword down. There was the sound of blade against blade, then a man's voice.

"Lucina wait! It's me, Robin!"

"R-Robin? Why did you tap on my shoulder?"

"I wanted to scare you."

"You bastard!" she kicked him again. "Why the-never mind. We need to find out where we are. Start trying to feel walls." Robin got up, groaning. The two stumbled around in the darkness. But they couldn't seem to find anything. Not even walls. The horrid voice finally came.

"Oh, there you are! I had a hard time finding you in the dark. Your challenge will be a little bit different. Welcome to the Trivia of Death Murder Doom Trial! Guess what? Your challenge is trivia on video games. I hope you're well educated on your video games. If not, well, there will be many consequences for you!" Lucina fist-pumped the air.

"Robin, I totally got this. Love me some Mario. Kid Icarus too." In a distant land, Mario and Luigi high-fived while Pit blushed and Pittoo sexually pelvic thrusted.

"Okay, if you say so Lucy. Okay, we're ready to start."

"Good! Because I hate waiting on people!. Let's start baby! First off, I'll light up the area. Identify your location!" Slowly, the place lit up. And thus, it's theme song echoed in the air.

"Alright, identify your area!" The two stood on a concrete ground with a canon in the middle of it. To the left was red stone where bombs lay and iron balls rolled down. In front of them was a green field and a brown dirt path. Goombas were here. A bridge led up to a farther area. A mountain was farther off and there was a floating island.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Lucina held up her hand.

"Hmm...How about...Robin! Answer the question! Where are we!?" the voice sounded. Lucina looked at Robin hesitantly.

"Just think Robin. You got this. I believe in you." she said. Hearing Lucina's voice, knowing that she relied on him, it filled Robin with determination.

"I got it. I can tell from the mountain in the back. This place is Pagoda Peak!" Lucina slapped her forehead. The voice cackled. "Idiot idiot idiot! That's a stage in Mario Party 7! This place here is Bob-omb Battlefield! Your punishment this time is, you get to play with the chain-chomp that's chained here! For five minutes. Welp. have fun!" the voice disappeared. Robin looked around. He didn't see any chain-chomp. Until one came hurtling from a ledge. Lucina noticed it first.

"Lucina RUN! Huh? Lucina?" Robin turned around to see dust and a blue blur. And no, it wasn't Sonic. Lucina was GONE. Robin, being the literal slowest smasher, even slower than his sister, couldn't hope to run away. The mad beast rushed straight at him and when he opened his mouth to snack, Robin shot something unpleasant.

"Archfire!" The monster rolled around in pain then looked back at him in fury. He sped towards Robin, ready to unleash all attacks. Robin jumped up and the chain-chomp crashed into the wall behind him. That was the last straw. The creature was MAD. He turned, hellbent on taking Robin down. Robin was a tactician, which meant the chain-chomp would have to think hard on how to eat him. Then the creature had a plan. It rushed at Robin once more, then opened his mouth wide.

"This again?" Robin laughed. "We've been over this! Archfire!" the chain-chomp spit a wad of saliva that extinguished his fire and got it on Robin. He was all sticky and stuck to the ground.

"Augh! Gross! And not good." he looked at the chain-chomp who was right on top of him. He prepared to feel the monstrous jaws clamp down on him. Lucina jumped on the back of the creature and steered it in another direction; away from Robin. He put up a good fight, but Lucina was queen when it comes to a rodeo. She rode him around the entire area shouting 'yeehaw!' and waving her Falcion in the air like she was Zoro. She jumped off and waved over to Robin, completely forgetting about the chain-chomp.

"Robin! Did you just see that! It was so cool!" The beast rose behind her.

"Lucina! Look out!" Robin covered his eyes. There was a sort of purring sound, or rather a satisfied groan. Robin looked up to see Lucina gently rubbing the chomp's head. And soon, he was fast asleep. She ran back over to Robin.

"Cute little thing isn't he? I named him Chompy. So adorable!" she said, unfortunately serious.

"No! He almost turned me into fecal matter!" the voice returned and was very disappointed.

"What? It's SLEEP!? I'll teach him to sleep on the job!" An angry birds slingshot appeared out of thin air and launched the chain-chomp to the ends of the Earth. Probably outer space.

"Noo! How could you be so cruel!?" Lucina screamed. The voice chuckled.

"That thing was so-o innocent. I feel awful about myself." the voice lied. "At least your friend seems relieved." Lucina punched Robin.

"Now, time for the next question." The area turned back black and they couldn't see anything. "This is the next question. Out of all of the games in this series, there is a place where you and three others participate in the wild west; after an outlaw. Four deputies in a party, or as some say a 'hoe-down'. As of February 19th 2017, there are currently 16 games in this series, ten of them being numbered and 'official' console titles and the other six are not. One of which being a card game, and the other five are on handhelds. Last hint, in this game, or stage rather, whoever wins becomes the sheriff. Now, what game am I talking about?" Lucina put a finger on her chin and thought about it for a while.

"Is it...Mario Party 2?" she asked. The voice sounded even more disappointed.

"Correct. Next question."

"Wait," Robin stopped the voice. "Don't we get a prize for getting it right?" The voice scoffed.

"Your prize is you get to live." Robin gulped.

"Next question! In this video game, you have three days to save the world before the moon smashes you into oblivion. You must continue to reset time and use many different mask to accomplish this task. What game is it?" Double L jumped up and down.

"Robin, your turn." Robin looked around and then pointed to himself. "You. Yes you. Who the fuck else? Answer the question!" the voice yelled.

"Uh...Um...Oh, yeah! It's a Legend of Zelda game. It's Ocarina of Time!" Lucina passed out. The voice laughed out loud.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! It's The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask. How could you-forget it. You're an idiot. Welp, since the girl fainted out of your stupidity, I'll just have to explode both of you! Muhuhahaha!"

"You really have a problem with explosions."

"Shut up! Take this!" the voice exploded both of them in a gruesome manner. Robin lay on the ground in pain while Lucina lay on the ground in astonishment. 'How did he get that wrong?' she mumbled to herself. She didn't even notice that she was exploded.

"Alright, get up! Next one! Lucina, name three things/people that can be your friend or foe in video games. Co-op doesn't count." Lucina stood on her feet while Robin moaned in pain.

"1. Waddle Dee. 2. Chloe from Uncharted. 3. Bowser."

"You have to be more specific on the last one.

"Hmm...Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.

"Correct. I hate it when things go your way! This is boring! Adding a 15 second timer!" The same time that Pittoo and Dr. Mario got will the skulls on the numbers appeared, nearly giving Dr. Mario PTSD.

"The questions are now getting harder! This isn't any pansy garbage! Now, you both can answer, but the last one is the final answer for the question. Ready?

"N-no-o." Robin said.

"Too bad! Next question! Name one Sony original Character that has been forgotten."

"Crash Bandicoot."

"I thought Q-bert was Sony too right?"

"Ding ding ding! Time up! Q-bert is your final answer! Incorrect! Guess what? Your punishment is to have to face an obstacle. One that WAS in Crash Bandicoot. Run from a giant boulder! Don't get crushed!" The dark area sparked up to reveal that they were on an angled hill full of holes and fire and spikes and food and water.

Robin hadn't noticed the death stare Lucina was giving him yet.

"It looks like we're supposed to do something here. But I don't see a boulder anywhere. Do yo-what? What?" Robin scratched the back of his head.

"Robin! I had it in the bag, why couldn't you just stay quiet!? I said let me do the talking!" she folded her arms.

"If I remember correctly, your exact words were 'Robin, I totally got this,' then how you were in love with Mario and Kid Icarus, or something like that."

"I'm not in 'love' with either, I just said that I love the gameplay and adventures! Not that you yourself have had any good ones…"

* * *

"Oh no she didn't!" Falco jumped up and accidentally elbowed Charizard. "Oh, my bad Charizard."

Charizard groaned impatiently and walked away.

"Jeez, what's his problem?" Falco huffed to Captain Falcon.

"He's probably on his period."

"Pfft-hahaha! What? I thought he was like, genderless or something."

"Then when you address him, why do you say 'he', or 'his'?" the racer asked. Falco wasn't sure how to answer that, so he busted out his signature conclusion to all conversations.

"Shut up Falcon." Falco said. The staffman put his book down for whatever reason and stood up.

"Dark Pit, come here." the dark angel slowly walked over. The staffman towered over him.

"Since I've noticed less chaos and you've been behaving, I'll let you have your mouth back. That once again sounds silly. But all jokes aside, if there are any more problems, then you won't have it back until you compete again, understand?" Pittoo nodded yes. The staffman pulled out his pocketbook and scratched something down on the inside. A magical glow sparkled on Pittoo's face, forming his mouth. Dark Pit nearly cried in joy.

"I'm back bitc-I mean, I got my mouth back. Thanks guy." he said.

"Don't call me 'guy' Pittoo."

"Then what do you want me to call you!? Master!?"

"That would do just fine."

"Pssh, whatever." he joined the others on the chair. The staffman began to read again, until he noticed a begging Wolf beside him. He sighed.

"Yes Wolf, but the same rules apply to you. No misbehaving." Wolf got his mouth and scurried off to go bother Fox. The staffman noticed the noise level of the room.

"Everyone, please quiet down and turn your attention back to the screen." Nobody heard him apparently. He tugged at his glove.

"I said quiet down everyone." The smashers carried on as normal.

"Quiet NOW!" he yelled and slammed his fist together, causing the ground to shake. Toon Link and Roy stumbled and fell off of the chair.

"Chill out old man." Snake said from the shadows.

"That's enough out of you. Turn your attention back to the screen." The smashers grumbled as they did so, but he was acknowledged. Robin and Lucina were still arguing, and there was no boulder in sight. Not yet anyways.

* * *

"You're the one who couldn't think for just a little bit!" Lucina shouted.

"Yeah, well at least I have a life. You just play video games all day." Robin shrugged. Lucina looked offended at that one.

"I do not! Half of the time I'm with you and the guys. The only time I play video games is after I participate in the tournament and have nothing to do."

"Which is 90% of the time…" Robin shrugged again. Lucina and Robin butted heads, slightly growling.

"You know what Robin!? Screw this! So much for teamwork. Just like Dark Pit, MY arms are getting tired from carrying my team." she began walking down the forest.

"It's not my fault that we got a trivia." There was a rumbling sound. "Don't blame me for my 'ignorance' your highness. Jeez, I can't teach myself something that I don't know without outside knowledge."

There was more rumbling.

"Robin."

"Yes princess?"

"Just shut up and let's go. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner I can go pee." Robin followed close behind.

"Where are we anyway? I don't recognize this place." Lucina looked around. "It doesn't remind me of Crash."

"Maybe it's not Crash. Could be...I don't know, Donkey Kong?" Lucina swung around.

"Hey, you're right! Good on-Robin look out!" Robin turned around to see a massive boulder following behind him.

"Oh shit!" He ran as fast as he could, which was probably at a snail's pace. He was horrifically slow. Lucina wasn't even in the area, a blue shadow that irked Sonic. Robin was all alone.

"Gotta get out of here." There was a pit that Robin needed to jump over. "Good thing my recovery is great!" He jumped high over the hole. So high, that he hit a tree branch and went careening downwards.

"Ow ow ow! Not good!" He fell right into the hole, swallowed by the darkness. But there was still hope!

"Elwind!" He flew towards the opening in the ground. He shot up and rammed his skull on the boulder, which was already passing over. The unconscious smasher fell into the pit fully this time, never to be seen again. Or gone for the moment, at least.

Meanwhile, with Lucina…

"Well well well. Look who made it to the end! Well, you got two more questions then we'll wrap it up! Also, you get to do the bonus room. Wait, wasn't there two of you? Ah who cares! Next question!"

"Wait."

"What do you want!? We've got to keep it moving!"

"My shoes are untied." the voice sighed as Lucina bent down to tie her blue and white Adidas'. She was wearing a blue button up long sleeve shirt and a black jacket that was slightly too big. She had white designer jeans on (with her sword and sheath of course) and short blue and black Polo socks. And for the finale, white and indigo silk panties lined with linen comboed with a matching bra. Have to cover every detail. Did you know that her hair was blue? That's her favorite color.

"Are you done yet?" she rose upwards, then started fiddling with her jeans. "..."

"Okay, done! Now, you ready?"

"YES! The question is, who is one of Nintendo's most troublesome character that sells you maps in several different video games!? His signature color is green. Answer the question."

"Uhh...Yoshi?" Lucina was electrocuted with 2000 volts. "Augh!"

"No! The correct answer is Tingle!"

"You have to be more specific!"

"Too bad girlie! Got to think a little bit harder! Final Question!" the voice boomed. The ground shook for effect. "If you don't answer this one in time, then it's electrocution at 5000 volts for you! Very messy. Starring the pink puffball, this game originally released on a handheld non-3d platform. It consist of many minigames in which can be played to unlock many more mini-minigames. If another player has a copy of the game or another handheld system, there is a multiplayer mode! It was also remastered with an 'ultra' version. What game am I talking about? Time starts now!" Lucina had no clue.

"Pink puffball, has to be Kirby. But what game!? I hate handheld questions!" she thought hard. But not hard enough.

"10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4!" The time ticked down to doom.

"Uh...Is it…"

"Kirby Super Star," Robin said, falling through the air and on his feet. "That pit conveniently led here, I won't complain."

"Death comes-wait. That's correct. No!. So close from being toasted! SO CLOSE! Fine, take the stupid bonus room key and get out of my face! So unfair! Your challenge was WAY too easy!" the voice disappeared grumbling and complaining. Lucina looked wide eyed at Robin.

"Y-you actually got it! Nice! Besides thanking the ex-machina fairy, you saved my butt. Thanks!" Lucina jumped and hugged him. Robin didn't know what had gotten into her. Maybe 2000 volts of electricity fried her brain cells.

"Thanks Lucina." Robin liked the affection, but he was eager to remove her so he could avoid harassment back at the waiting area. "O-okay Lucina. Let's get back to work." she unlatched from his body and pointed straight ahead. The bonus room shone ahead in bright and flashing colors. The two headed to the bonus room while the gloriousness of it blew them back. Literally. It was like walking away from a tornado. It sent their hair and clothing waving backwards. They walked into the massive doors of gold, vanishing out of sight.

* * *

"Marth, did you see it? You know what that means right?" Roy elbowed him. Marth looked at him curiously.

"What is it Roy?"

"You know what we have to do."

"What?"

"It's going to take the most charming and the second most charming to achieve the task! We can do it!" Roy pumped his fist into the air.

"Ro-oy! What are you TALKING about!? I want to know too!" Marth whined.

"We have to bring the two of them together! Robina and Lucin! I mean, Lucina and Robin! The tale of the tactician and swordswoman!"

"Roy, I think I might be done with romantic services during the competition. My head STILL hurts...?" he rubbed his hair.

"That's not the Marth I know! You're willing to help even if the danger includes dieing! Let's not let that witch Kamui get us down!" Zelda, who was overhearing the conversation got their attention.

"Hey...psst…." the two looked at her. She signaled to Kamui, who was literally next to her. The guys nodded and moved farther away.

"That was close. Anyways, we can totally do this together! Remember how we nearly got Shulk and Death together? Until Sonic ran into Shulk which knocked him into Bowser who went spiraling into a cactus and right into the pool. Seriously, who keep a fricken cactus next to a swimming pool? Samus sure was looking hot that day, until Bowser, who fell into the pool, sent water flying at her. She wasn't too happy at all." Roy folded his arms and shook his head.

Marth sighed. "It's awful! They were leaning in for a kiss too! In the end, it's all Sonic's fault!" Roy stopped him.

"Actually, Villager stole Link's Pegasus boots and chased Sonic around with bees because we were pranking him, remember? We set it all up, but I never thought Sonic would run into Shulk!"

"Wasn't it Link who dared us to do it?"

"Yeah. I still owe Villager 65 dollars. But it's all Link's fault anyway!"

"Yeah! You know Roy, for some reason, I'm angry right now! You want to go beat Link up?" the two glanced at the staffman who was laying back on his chair with the book he was reading on his face; napping. He would claim that he wasn't.

"Sure!" They both skipped in an angrily gleeful manner behind Link. Nana questioned if they were high. They snuck right behind Link, who hadn't noticed them. Bayonetta eyed them suspiciously. Marth slipped her 100 dollars and she kept quiet. Link had his bomb bag hanging out of his back pocket, so Roy lit a match and dropped it in there.

"THIS IS FOR SCREWING SHULK AND DEATH!" Marth yelled and booted Link off the chair. All eyes were on Link as he fell face first and exploded for an unknown reason. The staffman shouted and jumped on his feet.

"WHO DIED!?" he looked up to see Link on the ground on fire. He ran and patted the flames off of his body. Afterwards, a charcoal Link lay on the ground, shivering in trauma. "Link, try not to hold so many bombs that they backfire on you. Now, once you're ready, take your seat. It seems that Lucina and Robin are finished." The staffman let out a big yawn. Dealing with everyone sure was tiresome. Marth and Roy did a jumping high-five.

"Hey everybody! We're back! And we brought cupcakes!" Lucina shouted and pulled cupcakes out of nowhere. Robin had a hand over his face and walked off. King Dedede jumped up.

"HEY! Where did you get that!? That there is my spare snacks in case I get hungry! Return those to the King!" he smacked his belly in anger. Lucina completely ignored him. She skipped up the stairs and onto the chair.

"This one's for Diddy Kong! And these ones for Nana and Popo! And this one goes to Zelda! I like this one, it goes to Mewtwo! This one's my favorite! It goes to Bayonetta! Hi Bayonetta." she said, handing her one of Dedede's cupcakes.

"Hello child. Did 2000 volts do something to your head?" Lucina skipped in the other direction.

"Here you go Wario! One for you Corrin! Aww...I can't find Bowser...Oh well! Have one Fox! Wii Fit Trainer, I know you don't like unhealthy things, so heres an eggplant!" Popo had been looking for that eggplant.

"Hey! Knock it off!" shouted Dedede.

"Mr. Staffman, I got you one because you're a nice person! Have a hug!" Lucina jumped and hugged the staffman. He looked shocked.

"Oh! Well then...I...uh…thank you Lucina. But it's time to continue the competition." Lucina looked confused.

"What's constipation?" Samus nearly passed out. Not even kidding.

"N-no. Not...Anyways... Now, I can tell you've lost many brain cells, so I'll just push the random button for you." The staffman pushed it, but it didn't work. Kirby was too busy eating cupcake to activate plasma powers. The staffman sighed.

"Okay everyone. Ten minute break. Stretch your legs and use the bathroom." Lucina jumped up and down with her hand raised.

"Yes Lucina?"

"Mr. Staffman! I'm hungry!" she cried out. The staffman smacked his forehead.

"Fine Lucina. Fine. Everyone, if you're hungry, please come stand near me." The smashers all lined up next to the staffman. "Oh goodness…" He pulled out his pocketbook and scratched some things down. Then stopped.

"What do you all feel like eating?" He heard millions of suggestions, so he went with the first thing he heard. A table appeared from a portal and a bunch of cylindrical objects in foil fell on the table.

"Help yourself everyone. Today is Chipotle. And it rhymes." The staffman chuckled. Something was wrong with Death.

"The only person I know who eats Chipotle like this is…" nearly everyone knew who she was talking about, mainly Snake from a mission they once had. In a door to the left stood Ike, who was leaning on Dr. Mario.

"Ike!" Roy, Death, Marth, Shulk. And every other male shouted. They ran towards him and football punted Dr. Mario out of the way.

"Ike! You are alive!" Death shouted.

"Good to see you're standing." Cloud walked over.

Toon Link: "So what happened anyway?"

Roy: "I thought I got you wounded forever!"

Marth: "We're sorry!"

Shulk: "I'm really feeling it!"

King Dedede: "Want a cupcake?"

Snake: "Ike, it's about time you showed up.

The staffman clapped his hands together. "Settle down everyone, we're on a time budget. Lets finish this and get back to competing." They all nodded and began taking full advantage of their break.

TIME SKIP

"Thank god that's over. Kirby, start the team spinning." The teams spun like no other teams have spun before. The staffman clicked the button and the teams stopped. ' _Electric Rays_ '.

"It's electric! Boogie woogie, woogie!" Robin sung.

"Shut up! The last ten minutes was some of the worst in my life, so no more words out of anyone or I WILL wake Crazy up!" he shouted. He was NOT in the mood for this crap.

"Speaking of which, where is Crazy?" Megaman asked. He wasn't in his usual spot. Gone actually. The staffman looked there then back.

"Fox, Captain Falcon, please stand on the blue spot. I need to go find that hand." Fox and Captain Falcon walked onto the blue pad and zapped out of the area without a countdown. There was a loud crash.

"Damn it Crazy!" A chair that looked very threatening and bad appeared. The staffman looked up and sighed. He sat on it and pouted. Everyone looked at him peculiarly.

"What are you doing?" Samus asked curiously.

"I broke one of my own rules," he mumbled sadly, "therefore, I have to be punished too. I call this the time-out chair. I can leave again after ten minutes." Pittoo laughed so hard that he actually hurt himself, so he slowed down. Even Charizard laughed.

* * *

Captain Falcon and Fox were back to back. Tension rose as the enemy drew closer. The bloody knife ready to get bloodier. The demon's thirst for blood grew more as he saw the two struggle to escape. He walked closer, ready to kill.

"FALCON PUNCH!" the racer burst from the ropes and nailed the demon in the face, knocking him into a wall. He untied his partner Fox and charged at him. He picked up a bomb and chucked it straight at him.

"You think you'll beat me with THAT!?" the man caught the bomb. "Pathetic!" Fox jumped in front of Captain Falcon, holding his gun.

"Not done yet!" he shot the bomb, exploding the demon and sending guts and meat chunks everywhere. A door opened up and the two high-fived.

"Who do you think the next enemy is Falcon?" Fox asked him.

"Dunno. Probably someone as anticlimactic as this guy. Glad we got a fighting challenge though." The two walked to the door opening. It was blocked by a thick, bright fog. "Traverse the white light?" Falcon asked Fox, only to notice he was already through. "Hey! Wait up!" This next room was bright. A bright pink. Covered in gray. What? The next monster looked like a giant mutant Yoshi. There were spikes aligned against the walls.

"I know how to beat this one…" Fox said. The noise of his voice awoke the creature. It seemed completely harmless. It happily growled.

"Get a load of this guy. He's completely harmless." Falcon jumped on top of him. "He's also furry. A walking pillow." He crawled all over him. The monster whined, he was probably hungry.

"Falcon! Got any food on you?"

"Yeah, why? I've got a burrito in my back pocket." he tossed it down. "I like this guy. I think I'll name him, 'Green Falcon'."

"Hold off on naming him yet. Then you start to get attached. We wouldn't want the same thing that happened to Chompy to happen to Green Falcon. We'd better not show that we're attached or the voice will kill him." He gave the burrito to the monster. Speaking of the voice though…

"Hello! Now, you already know the deal. Beat up this one and continue forwards. In the next room is cake by the way. Have fun. Kill mode activate!" Green Falcon let out an angry moan and shook. It's menacing teeth shone bright against the yellow walls. It howled.

"Let's knock em' out Falcon! Then we can take him with us!...Falcon?" Fox looked around as Green Falcon ran in circles. A giddy Captain Falcon held tight to it's back. "Yahoo!" he shouted. The monster stopped and turned to look at his back. Falcon smiled back. The beast jumped up and smashed Falcon into the ceiling.

"Gah!" Greenie flipped back upwards and clawed Falcon, smashing him into the ground and stomping on him.

"Hey!" Fox yelled in surprise. "Stop that!" He ran towards him and grabbed its head. He pulled him to the side and drop kicked him, sending it back. Captain Falcon slowly stood up, being a little bloody. Greenie howled louder, making the two covering their ears. Seeing them defenseless, he jumped and belly-flopped on Captain Falcon that brung horrid memories to Rosalina, Snake, Samus, Ike, Jigglypuff, Lucina, and Bowser. Quickly, before Fox could retaliate, he gobbled him up without even chewing. He positioned himself comfortably on the ground over Falcon. He had defeated the two smashers and was sure he'd be rewarded handsomely. Until he felt a stinging pain from below.

"FALCOOOOOON-" Greenie was blasted off the ground from under. "KIIIIIICK!" The racer shot up into the air. He wasn't done yet. "Take this!" He dashed forward and smashed his fist into Greenie, sending him slamming into the ground. It let out a wail, and spat a large fireball towards him. Falcon smiled.

"You must not know me and fire…" The fire shot right at him, but he grabbed it (somehow) and mashed it into his head. He yelled so loud this time that it split the ceiling open, revealing a giant fan at the top.

"I know how to beat you now. Not the spikes, but…" Greenie clawed at the captain, catching his arm. He didn't even flinch. It lurched at him with excitement. Captain Falcon slid under and kicked him so hard that he flew through the already broken ceiling. "Time to end this!" He jumped onto the wall and ran extremely fast. Lightning trailed behind him, Captain Falcon ran head to head up the walls as Greenie flew. He jumped from side to side attacking the creature. Jump electric knee...Falcon Dive...Glitched reverse Raptor Boost...Falcon Kick Fury...One last attack and it would settle it. He jumped off of the wall and ran on the creature. He jumped up to Greenie's head and used is signature move.

"Falcon…" here it comes, "PUNCH!" he gave the beast a mouthful (heh heh) of fist and sent it flying right into the giant fan. It stopped itself on the blades and ripped them from the machinery.

"What!?" Greenie flung the fan blades at Falcon, barely missing him. "That's the last straw! Taste my new prototype move!" He latched around Greenie's neck and pulled him to the ground quickly. They spun like a tornado to the ground. Lightning appeared.

"PRIMARY LOTUS-err, YELLOW FALCON….SURGE!" The two erupted in a lightning tornado that sped to the ground lightning speed. They exploded into a giant ball of fury electricity hell. A 7 foot crater was left in the middle of the ground. A Greenie with a split open throat lie motionless on the ground. A disappointed and blood covered Fox patted a sad Falcon on the back. Blood splurted everywhere out of Greenie's neck. He was dead.

* * *

"Holy shit! That's a thing!?" Shulk jumped on both of his feet. "Cool cool cool!"

"But quite messy, don't you think?" Rosalina asked. Shulk stopped dancing and looked at Green Falcon.

"Yeah I guess. But so cool!" he began jumping again.

"Shulk, can't you see what he did to that poor creature!? It's gross!" Death said. Shulk wasn't comfortable around Death because...ya know…

"Uh-uh-erm-yeah. It is pretty gross. But that doesn't mean it wasn't cool. Just look at the replay!" There was a second screen that kept repeating 'KILL OF THE DAY! KILL OF THE DAY!'. It showed an electric tornado crashing into the ground, spilling red everywhere. Shulk's eyes sparkled. Death sighed and Rosalina drank tea. There was a loud ringing noise.

"Mr. Staffman! Your time for punishment is over!" Lucina jumped up.

"Oh thank god," he hopped off of the seat and it disappeared. "I have to find Crazy. Bayonetta, you're in charge. Assert your dominance over everyone however you need to. Try your best to refrain from violence." she smiled. The staffman grabbed his rocket launcher with the knife and ran outside of the viewable area.

"I've gotta go take a piss." Pittoo said and stood up.

"Me too actually. We'll be back." Ryu said and the two walked off. (Taking a small detour from the story here, here's what happened when they went to the bathroom.)

"Why the hell are you following me!?" Pittoo asked politely. Ryu raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not. I just have to go." They opened the doors to the men's restroom. Pittoo, who was suspicious of Ryu, instead went into a stall while Ryu went to a urinal.

"Damn Street Fighter nuisance. Can't even go to the bathroom without the paparazzi." he said. Ironically, he was right. He was getting ready to pull down his pants when he heard something mechanical. He turned around to notice the camera inside the toilet zooming in. There was also one on the ceiling.

"What the FUCK!?" he shrieked and backed out of the stall. Ryu quickly ran over to see what the fuss is about.

"What's wrong?"

"There's a fucking camera in the toilet! What if I was going to take a shit!? Hell, I was about to beat my dick too! Why is there a camera in the bathroom!?" he spat angrily.

"Maybe it's a surveillance camera?" Ryu scratched his head.

"Are you pissing me!? Surveillance camera my ass! Literally! Why would it be in the toilet!?"

"I don't know. Well, hope you can hold it. Or get raped by the camera. I'm going to go tell the others." Ryu washed his hands and left.

"H-hey! Wait up!" They left the bathroom and crashed into Pit.

"Ow, sorry. What's all the commotion Ryu? Did Dark Pit fall in again?" he asked curiously. There were some snickers. Pittoo walked from behind Ryu.

"Oh. There you are." Ryu, Pit, and Dark Pig all walked back to the viewing area.

"Everyone, I have disturbing news. There are camera's in the bathrooms. Even in the toilets." Ryu said. Samus and Palutena had just come from the bathroom. They were not pleased.

"Are you kidding me!?" Samus screamed. Her muscely muscles bulged.

"Whoa. You must lift tons." Pittoo said and patted them. He touched and marveled her muscles.

"Thanks. I do lift a lot." she said until she felt another hand elsewhere.

"Are there muscles here too?" he said, using both hands. Extending her already pumped arm, she punched Dark Pit into the far wall.

"Everyone saw me use the restroom?" Palutena asked. "How...interesting." she said no more.

"W-wait. If- *cough* if there are camera's- *cough* *cough* in the bathrooms, does that mean people can see us? *hack*" Link said through black ashes of bomb explosions. Zelda was nestled into his arm and patting his back. Pittoo yelled from across the room, ignoring Samus approaching him.

"Duh! I was about to fucking masterba-"

"He was about to use the bathroom when he found out. It shocked him is all." Ryu cut him off. BAM!

"Ouch! You broke my nose!"

"Serves you right!" Samus kicked him more.

"Bizarre." Robin said. "Also pretty nasty. I wouldn't want to see someone taking a crap on tv."

"Who would?"

"Only you Sonic."

"Damn it." A gunshot sounded in the air.

"Quiet everyone. Continue watching the competition." Bayonetta said in her activated big voice. Back on the screen, Falcon and Fox finally finished their moment of silence and began to move to the next room.

* * *

"It's time to go Falcon." Fox said. The two opened the door to the next room to find a beautiful and delicious looking cake in the middle of the table.

"Ooohh!" and immediately, Green Falcon was forgotten. Falcon and Fox ran towards the cake, almost crashing into it.

"WAIT!" the voice screamed out. They tumbled over each other. "Geez, wait just a second! You can't just devour it like wolves!"

"Why not?" Fox asked. The voice sighed.

"At least let me cut it!" Giant guns with thin slots on the front appeared through the walls. "I'll cut it nice and good! Muhuhahahaha!"

"Why are you laughing?" Captain Falcon said. "Just cut it already."

"Eh? I meant I'm going to SLICE YOU UP TOO!" giant sawblades flew from the guns that sliced up the cake and nearly the team. They jumped and dodged back and forth.

"Duck!" Fox ballerina jumped over it instead. Falcon was crouched against the ground. He looked up to see the pilot heel kick one of the guns on the wall, dislodging it. He aimed it at the other turrets, slicing them up.

"Oh, I get it!" Falcon followed along, breaking off the gun and shooting it all around.

"Watch it!" Fox warned, after almost getting his hide cut off.

"Sorry!" they destroyed the last of the guns then punched the ones in their hands to death. Both were breathing deeply.

"So-o, is it cake time now?" Falcon rubbed his hands together.

"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?" the voice spoke in a mad whisper. "IT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE! Take your damn cake! Every bite is different! Eat it all to get the bonus room key! Or just step on the blue pad. I don't care." The blue pad appeared. Fox looked at it.

"Not yet Fox. First this, then bonus room." Falcon said. "For now, let's eat!" he picked up one of the many cut pieces of cake and ate it. He soon exploded after.

"Haha! Got you! The cake is a lie! And now you have to finish!" The pad blew open into sparks and the room got smaller. "You'll be stuck here forever until you finish! Every bite is different...Different DOOM! Another life ruined! HAHAHAHA!" the voice zapped away, leaving the two to finish the cake.

"Welp, you heard the thing. Let's do this." Fox tied a headband around his forehead. Captain Falcon coughed, but brought himself to his feet.

"I'll go next." Fox said, picking a white piece with whipped icing. He ate it whole and braced for impact. "Mmmm! Strawberry!" Fox patted his stomach.

"Wait, there's actually good pieces? My turn." Falcon grabbed a green piece with a kiwi on top and threw it into his mouth. Nothing seemed to happen. He bit down and there it was. It was hard as a brick. Falcon groaned with pain as he continued to chew the crunchy cake. Fox ate another.

"Taste just as good as it looks."

"No fair! This one will work for sure!" Falcon picked up an orange one covered in nuts. He ate it and his nose started running. His eyes watered. It taste as if someone blended a habanero pepper into the cake. He could handle fire, but he couldn't handle fire. "Ah! Son of a-"

"My turn." Fox grabbed a black one that looked burnt. Once more, he put it into his mouth, ready to die. He didn't. The cake turned into water while in his mouth.

"Good. I was pretty thirsty." Fox burped. Falcon was still going at it, determined to get a good cake. He stuffed yet another into his face, but it was filled with melted plastic. Falcon spat and gagged. Fox picked up another one. It was lined with artificial flowers and topped with a sliced apple.

"WAIT!" Falcon shouted. Fox looked over.

"What's wrong Captain?"

"Let me have it, please. You always pick good ones." Fox shrugged and put the cake into Falcon's outstretched hand. He ate it quickly.

"How is it?" Fox took one look at Falcon and backed away. His eyes had turned into numbers. They ticked to doom.

"5. 4. 3."

"GET DOWN!" Fox told himself and kicked up the table that a couple of pieces of cake were on and jumped behind it.

"1. 0….ka-BOOM!" Captain Falcon exploded again. He moved no more, probably unconscious. The interesting thing is that he smoked the rest of the cake too. Fox peeked over the table to see a barbecued Captain Falcon. The key to the bonus room appeared and so did the...bonus...room...Fox looked at Falcon.

"Welp, looks like it'll be just me this time." He grabbed Captain Falcon and entered the sparkling doors of the bonus room.

* * *

"Tag! You're it!" Lucina tagged Toon Link and ran away.

"Here I come!" Toon Link chased after Ness and Lucas while Lucina was nowhere to be seen.

"So...what the hell is wrong with Lucina?" Ike whispered to Peach.

"Oh, I think when she got zapped with 2000 volts that it may have fried her mind a little bit. I'm sure she'll be back in no time! How about we talk about Roy and Marth?" Peach asked, giving Ike THAT look. Ike knew what THAT look meant. Everyone knew what THAT look meant.

"There is nothing between them Peach. I've told you, besides Link and Zelda, smashers don't date smashers. It just becomes endless drama. That's why Death and Shulk didn't work out." Ike yawned.

"I thought it didn't work out because Link dared Roy and Marth to play a prank on Sonic and they asked Villager for help which led to Sonic running away and ramming into Shulk and pulled him away from Death that sent him flying into Bowser and into the pool which resulted in Samus getting wet; not sexually." she took a deep breath.

"No Peach, that's what they want you to think. Death and Shulk's personalities clash. They just got caught up in the moment at the swimming pool. I admit, it does make me feel happy to see them together, even if Death is with another guy. But more than likely, it would never work out." Ike stated and stared off into the distance. Peach saw where he was looking and gave him another THAT look. THAT is an acronym. It stands for 'The Hearts And Tenderness' look. Only Peach has this ability because when she (thinks) sees romance is in the air, her eyes sparkle with hearts and tenderness. The acronym was Lucario's idea.

"So, what's going on between you and Death?" she said with a goofy grin.

"Nothing." he cut sharply. Peach crept around in front of him.

"You have feelings for her, don't you?" Ike looked away.

"Maybe. So what?" Peach clapped her hands together.

"Delightful! How exciting! Marth! Ro-"

"No!" Ike grabbed her arm. It was the first time he'd ever laid a hand on her outside of the tournament. He looked shocked at himself and quickly let go.

"My apologies princess. Just please don't tell them. You saw what they just did to Link, don't involve them in any type of relationship WHATSOEVER. They will always fuck it up harder than anything you've ever seen." He stopped to see Villager and Villie (the pink-haired villager) on both sides of them.

"What? Go away! Shoo!" Ike fanned his hand at them. But they were here to stay. Villie had crawled on his back and put her arms around his collar and Villager leaned against Peach. Ike sighed. "Fine. Geez, even though you two are older than me, I feel like I'm dealing with little kids. Peach, me and Death, I don't think it's possible. Besides, I just told you smashers don't date smashers." Villie kicked him in the back and pointed to Link and Zelda. "Yes, I know! I already said that! Those two are different. They fit together like a puzzle." Villager snickered. "But me and Death? It just can't happen."

"PREPOSTEROUS!" Peach screamed. She regained her composure.

"Careful Peach. Not so loud or a wall might shatter. Including the fourth one. Never scream out ships. Awful things happen." Ike warned.

"Oh, sorry. But don't think that way! You shouldn't ever conceal your true feelings!" she said.

"Yeah, you and Mario did that and look where we are…" Ike mumbled.

"Hey! He's my best friend!"

"Oh christ, the friend zone. From hero to zero. Rather die." Peach became flustered.

"N-no! Stop joking Ike! When you keep these kinds of things locked in a cage in your heart, you slowly tear yourself away! Assert your feelings! Or at least speak to her." Peach's face was red and her arms were crossed.

"Hey Death!" she looked over. "How's it goin'?" she smiled and waved. "How was that?" Ike asked. Peach put her hands to her face.

"Either you're mocking me, or you just don't get it."

"Both. Villie stop!" she had put her arms around his waist and was spinning around like a hula-hoop. She crawled back up and sat on top of his head. Villager was latched onto his foot.

"Anyways, Pittoo just got his nose broken, Falcon and Fox are finally back, the staffman brought Crazy, and it looks like Link just passed out again. Now, if you're done talking about 'love', let's just watch these events happening shall we? I've done enough for one day and I haven't even participated yet. Ow!" he grunted. Ville was patting his crotch to see if it still hurted. "Will you get out of here!?" she and Villager ran off to bug someone else, probably Nana and Popo. Crazy Hand floated in beside the staffman.

"Heeeeeeelloooo everybody! Ow!" Crazy got hit in his index finger by a flying disc. Everyone pointed at Duck Hunt. Duck Hunt was electrocuted.

"ANYWAYS, heeeeeeeeeeelloooo everybody! I noticed that there are more of you than usual! Mainly because of that stool right there!" Crazy pointed a large finger at Pichu. "So tell me, who invited the ones at the cut house?" Snake scoffed.

"Nobody. Wolf thought we should come, so we did. You should be grateful. We kept some out. Like that dumbass Lloyd Irving. He just begged and begged us to take him. Eventually I had to poison him to get the guy out of our hair. There was also King K. Rool, Q*bert, Captain Hook, and even a guy named Banjo with some dumb bird. There were WAY more, but we got rid of them for you. At least give us a thanks." he leaned against the wall in the shadows, not noticing Villager and Ville using his arms as chin-up bars.

"Quiet Snake. Let Crazy talk." Toon Link stopped playing with his friends. "I don't know if you know it, but getting electrocuted hurts."

"Hey kid, he asked the question."

"Crazytalk? I love crazytalk! Mah ha jing, deah brebrea brebra!" Crazy interrupted.

"Back on track Crazy. We're on a timed schedule. No time. They're here now, so let's just get on with it. Besides, I didn't change teams for nothing." Crazy shot the staffman a look of death.

"You. Switched. My. Masterly. Planned. Teams?"

"Yes Crazy. We had new contenders so I needed to-"

"INSOLENCE!" Crazy snapped his fingers and lightning came from the sky. It shot at the staffman. He caught it in one hand and threw it behind him, frying Little Mac once more.

"Attack me again Crazy and I'll suspend the competition! Now go sit in Time-out!" he yelled.

"But I hate Time-out!"

"NOW." Crazy floated off grumbling and sniffling. The staffman looked at Kirby, who was already spinning the teams.

"Fax, Captain Folcon, I mean, Fox and Captain Falcon, how was your challenge?"

"Did you see my prototype move?" Falcon asked.

"No, but I will watch over the footage tonight with my wife." there were lots of ooh's and aah's all around.

"Awe, you're married? Does that mean my chances are over?" someone said sadly.

"Lucina!" Robin fussed. The staffman chuckled.

"Yes Lucina. Besides, you're much too young. But Falcon, I will indeed see it soon. Sorry I wasn't able to be here."

"Wait, how come you're sorry to them? You fell asleep on ours!" Robin protested.

"1. I wasn't sleeping. 2. Your challenge was horridly boring. Now, let's get this competition rolling. Fox, please come stop the teams." Fox walked down and pressed the random button with excitement. It stopped. ' _Graceful Gasses_ '. The staffman put a hand to his face.

"Welp. You see the thing. Wario, Zelda, just step on the pad alread-Wario, you have to leave your food here. Lucina, Toon Link, Ness and Lucas, stop running around! Lucina, I know you're pretty much dumb right now, but behave yourself! Ville and Villager, stop that!" They were sitting on his arms, using him as if he were a seesaw. The two hopped off and ran out the door. They returned with a tennis racket for the both of them. The duo ran straight towards charizard and started knocking his tail back and forth. At first he didn't notice, then the hits got harder and he felt it. He turned and the two waved.

"RAWR!" he jumped right at them. Villager and Ville jumped over him and began riding his back. They pumped their fist into the air as they rode, but Charizard wasn't having it. They flew through the glass ceiling. The staffman fell to his knees in disbelief.

"That was a rare glass! Do you know how much that will cost!?"

"Bro, why don't you just use that book thingie to fix it again?" Falco asked.

"This was custom designed! I have to be specific with this thing!" Speaking of being specific, The staffman was wearing a black tuxedo and shiny clean black dress shoes. He also had a white button up shirt (long sleeve) under the tux with a diagonally striped tie that was red and black. He was wearing Nike black socks and plaid underpants. (I ain't bias.) "Oh my...that's going to be about 7000 dollars…"

"7000!?" Wario said, mouth watering. He likes money.

"Hi Mr. Staffman!"

"Hello Lucina. And yes Wario, that much. Let's get the competition on. You and Zelda come step on the blue pad. I've got to find the other three. I won't be here again it looks like, and I apologize. Rosalina, you're in charge. Take this shotgun." He tossed her a random shotgun full of iron pellets. "Try to prevent from using it." he clicked his heels three times and his shoes turned into rocket boots. That got Samus' attention.

"Nice boots."

"Likewise." he shot upwards. It was as if he was walking on air. He was so fluent in using these rocket boots that to him, it was just like speaking english. The entire time he flew, he did it with his hands on his back. He flew through the hole and silence swept the area.

"That guy is so fucking cool." Sheik hung from the ceiling.

"Tell me about it. I'm surprised we're just now meeting him. It's like he came out of nowhere." Fox added.

"But seriously, what is he? He also has his weird book. Not the one he was reading, the one he writes in. What is it?" Marth asked.

"I don't know, but something about him doesn't feel right," Corrin stuttered. "I don't think he's even real."

"You mean like Master Hand created him to watch over us?" Peach thought. Link shook his head.

"H-he said he had a wife, remember? You of all people should have remembered that." Peach was off her game.

"Zelda, you and Wario go stand on the blue pad." Rosalina commanded. Link shivered as Zelda left. Samus took over. The two warped out of the area.

"Now, let's have that discussion." Rosalina said. "I think that Master Hand actually HIRED him to be here. We surely would have met someone like him before. But we haven't."

"And we don't know his name." said Ike.

"What if he's like us? I mean, he's not from this world?" Pit asked. Palutena looked uneasy.

"Yes Pit, but he can alter reality itself. Defy the laws of physics and manipulate time and space. Not even Master Hand can manipulate space. He can't possibly be human." she grabbed her stomach.

"Is he a god?"

"I don't think so Falcon." Olimar signed.

"HE IS NOT OF THIS UNIVERSE, TIME, OR SPACE." Game&Watch said. Game & Watch. I like his name.

"How could he be of this universe when he's SO hot?" Lucina licked her lips at the thought. She liked the staffman.

"Lucina!"

"Hold on Robin, she's right. He is handsome, but Lucina, that doesn't helpfully contribute to the conversation." Samus told her. She pouted.

"Not to mention he's big. I MEAN TALL!" Death winced at the bait she accidentally set up for Pittoo. Everybody looked all around.

"Oh yeah, Dr. Mario's patching his broken nose." Shulk said.

"Well, when he gets back, I'm going to see what that book he has is all about. I'm going to take it." Sheik claimed.

"Good luck." Snake and Sheik simultaneously disappeared in the shadows. The rest turned towards the screen to see the team Graceful Gasses play the game for real.

* * *

Zelda was being forced to ride Wario's motorcycle with him for whatever reason. She wasn't too happy.

"What's-a wrong with you? Kick your feet up! Have a little fun!" Wario laughed. Zelda sighed. "Geez, what's your problem huh?"

"Nothing, I'm just worried about Link. He exploded for whatever reason."

"You worry about him too much! Get your head in the game! Besides, he exploded because…" Wario stopped.

"You were saying?"

"Oh no. That's going-a to cost a price sweetheart. We got a strict policy against 'snitching'." Zelda scoffed.

"What are they going to do, blow you up too?"

"Alright, I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you a hint on who blew up Link as long as you agree to get your head in the game! We gotta at least make it to the finale. Because once we separate, I'm-a gonna win! Wahaha!" Wario laughed again. Zelda rubbed her gloved hands together.

"Deal. I can't wait to find out who did it."

"Alright, one's a blue haired, prissy, tiara wearing pansy. And the other is an arrogant, red headed loudmouth." she put a hand to her face.

"I should've known."

"We're here!" He came to a stop, arriving at two double doors. They said 'CHAMBER OF DEATHLY DEATH'. The two got off and walked towards them and automatically, the massive gates slid open, sending rocks and ground flying everywhere.

"Get a load of this place. Looks abandoned. Welp, let's-a go now!" Wario strutted forward.

"Wario wait," she looked uneasy. "This doesn't look safe. We should wait and see what else happens."

"Waht? Since when has anything in this competition been 'safe'? There's no time to waste!"

"Here, why don't you go check it out. I'll come in after you." VV l2I() said 'bah!' and went alone. Immediately, the doors shut faster than yes. The loud bang made Zelda stumble backwards. Wario was nowhere to be seen. She ran and felt along the door. Nothing but hardened limestone and marble.

"Great. You know, this is way more open-ended than the other challenges. Musky sky, moss everywhere, humid, and these two giant doors. Reminds me of that one book, The Maze Runner by James Dashner." The ground shook and a hole in the floor opened. She jumped right in without thought. Down below was another obstacle course, but Wario was nowhere to be seen. More spinning saws, bombs, lasers, robots, and everything terrible. Zelda looked at herself.

"Perfect, this is not the right clothing for this." As if on cue, a box raised from the ground with extra clothes in it. Or rather, a vending machine. She shook her head. "Nope. There are camera's everywhere. Not changing." Magic curtains appeared. "What about the ceiling?" Zelda was giving time and space a real workout. The top of the ceiling was now blocked. "Now, what would be best to wear in this situation? No...not that. Maybe. It's a tight fit though. Well, I suppose…" After a long time, Zelda finally chose something stealthy. The machine closed around her and immediately changed her look. "Ump! It's much tighter than I thought." Zelda was wearing a skin tight midnight black jumpsuit with tight socks. It was a lot tighter than she thought. Roy was starstruck. The machine disappeared. "I knew I wouldn't be able to fit a small. Well, time to get moving." She continued forward. She needed to look for Wario, but she also needed to get through this obstacle course. Ahead of her, there was a starting line. Time counted down.

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"GO." Zelda walked in a straight line through the death and destruction. Saws and fire and poison darts flew past her as she just simply walked through it. No concern for anything in her way that may be dangerous. With little care, she reached the finish line without being touched by a single dart. Absolutely not.

* * *

"Psst. Marth are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Roy nudged him. Marth yawned properly.

"Yeah. Just look at how lucky Zelda is. It's actually kinda cool." Roy shook his head.

"Actually, I'm talking about her breasts."

"Yeah, that too. She has way more than she lets on. If I had to guess, that's straight up C-cup right there. Link must be on that every day…" Link was all of a sudden behind them.

"Hey, I heard me and Zelda's name. I know that you two have been plotting stuff as far as the competitions been going, but if you're planning anything that involves her, then I'll promise that neither one of you will sleep well tonight." The two shook their heads vigorously.

Naw man. We were just talking about her boo-...tiful appearance." Roy caught himself at the last minute. Marth nodded.

"She is pretty isn't she?"

"Indeed she is."

"Hey Link."

"Yeah?"

"How did you explode?" Link's expression changed.

"I-I don't know. I don't remember. I thought I heard something about Shulk though. Might have to 'see' what he's doing."

"Marth." Snake emerged from the shadows once more. "I have a question."

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Where's Master Hand?"

"Oh, he's on a vacation. He couldn't take being around us too much anymore. All the built up stress was causing him to have sweat stains on his glove. He'll be back by the end of tomorrow."

"So who's in charge?"

"Crazy and that staffman."

"Oh god."

"Tell me about it. But the staffman has been doing good so far despite having to deal with all of us. Besides, he won't be sticking around for much longer anyway."

"I'm not a fan. I hate that he thinks he's so high and mighty. 'Behave yourself!' he says, yet he flies off whenever he feels like it." Snake folded his arms.

"I don't see why not. He DOES have a lot of rules. Including one where we must listen to him regardless of the request."

"Bullshit."

"Hey, while you're here, you gotta abide by the rules. No matter what they say. If any of us were put in charge, none of us could last a minute. Being in charge isn't easy." Roy butt in.

"Speaking of which, how have you been Roy? I remember the day you, Lucas, and Mewtwo walked out of the cuthouse. What a day that was."

"Hey you three. Not too loud, okay?" Rosalina called. They nodded.

"I don't know who she is, but I like her." Snake said. They both nodded.

"That's Rosalina. She the nicest and smartest person I know. She's definitely the most friendly person to come here. Even than Pit. And Pit is super friendly."

"Good. Cause after the competition, I plan on sticking around."

"Good on you buddy. Can't wait for it." Snake was gone now and Marth turned back towards the screen. Zelda was walking through even more danger that made everyone slap their foreheads at the impossiblene- you get it.

* * *

Zelda strolled through the danger. She was giving nearly no effort as she reached the next finish line. The voice hadn't even appeared yet and the challenge was awful. Zelda sighed again.

"At this rate, I'll never find Wario…" a half-dead Wario fell from the ceiling. "Oh, there you are. Let's go." Wario twitched. He was covered in burn marks, stuck with darts/arrows, had needles sticking out in every direction, cut and torn clothing, and a bloodied scratch across his arm.

"H-hurts...to talk...Wah…" he mumbled. Zelda looked to the side. There was a conveniently placed bucket of water in the corner that had the convenient words of 'POUR ON WARIO' to be extra convenient. She pick up the bucket, which was fairly heavy, and poured it on the battered smasher. Immediately, he jumped up and shouted.

"Gah! Oh, it's just you. I don't know about you, but there is no way I'm taking another step in that direction. I never, ever want to play again." Wario turned and began walking the other way.

"Wait, what about getting your head in the game?" she asked.

"Hey, I used to be a player like you, 'till I took an arrow to the knee. And face. And got exploded. And bit. And eaten. And hurted." He continued to walk.

"Woah woah WOAH!" The voice arrived. "You can't just quit! You can't just refuse to play!"

"(Wah)tch me!" The voice became flustered.

"I never thought that THIS might happen! Don't you want infinite power? Don't you want infinite control? Don't you want...what is it that your kind likes...Don't you want women, money, food?" Wario skidded to a halt.

"You're right. I missing out on the benefits! Hey, I'll take one thousand arrows to the knee if that's what it takes!"

"That could be arranged…" Wario shook his head vigorously.

"I was just joking. Well, we've got a competition to run, so it's-a go time!" Wario pushed past his feeling of doubt.

"Since you delayed the competition briefly…" Wario exploded all of a sudden. He lay on the ground in pain. "Now, no more interruptions! Hurry up and get going!" Wario crawled along.

"H-hey look. It's the bonus room." he stuttered. Zelda turned.

"This early? I guess so." Wario got up and the two walked towards the shiny doors. Zelda pushed it open with one outstretched hand. But the entire wall collapsed. Behind it was a large cannon that said, 'Just kidding bitch!' and it fired a large cannon ball. It nailed Zelda in the stomach (she finally gets hit.) and she let out a pained gasp, knocking her over. The ball flew straight towards Wario, but he opened his mouth and crushed it to bits with enormous jaws. Zelda looked back in astonishment.

"Interesting! Very nice...jaw strength you have." He helped her up. Ahead of them was a black door to nowhere. Through the door, the two advanced. It led to a dark room which was surrounded by bonus rooms. The door disappeared.

"Your final challenge is to find the REAL bonus room! Ready set go! There is a surprise behind each door, by the way. Okay, go!" Wario scrambled and opened a door. He got hit in the knee with a blunt arrow. Zelda opened a door. A ball of electricity came at her. She used Nayru's Love and sent that shit away. It zapped Wario. After he was done being cooked, Wario crawled to another door. He nudged it open and flinched. He opened his eyes and saw a slice of cake. Swiftly, he devoured it. He exploded. Zelda jumped over a gigantic sucker-punch fist that, of course, punch Wario into the wall. Wario was scared. He slowly approached another door, shivering. He kicked it open and ran away screaming.

"What!? What's wrong?" Zelda asked him. Wario pointed a trembling finger towards the door he opened. She put a hand on her face. "Wario, it's the REAL bonus room. You found it. Stop kidding around and get your head in the game." she had a stern look on her face. Wario took a deep breath and regained his stubby composure. He charged head first at the door and hit it hard. He somehow missed. The moron knocked himself out, leaving a huge lump on his head. Waluigi would never let him live it down. Zelda pinched the bridge of her nose. She grabbed his foot and dragged him into the bonus room. The beautiful doors closed, leaving them with the most valuable thing imaginable. Comedy.

* * *

The staffman flew back carrying a beat-up Charizard and a two little troublemakers, who were also beat up. His rocket boots turned back normal. He walked and sat the three on the ground.

"I'm back."

"Yo, what happened? Looks like they fought in a war." Megaman asked.

"Oh, them? Well, let's just say that they were bold enough to attack me in a 'friendly' competition. I'm pretty sure they learned their lesson." he looked at them.

"You took on all three of them!?" Shulk exclaimed.

"At the same time!?" Sonic did it too.

"By yourself!?" Ike mimicked.

"In the air!?" Samus was astonished. It was contagious. The staffman waved his hand in the air.

"Please, it's no big deal. They're fine. As a matter of fact, return to your seats you three." They slowly got up. Villager was holding his left arm and Ville held her right. They were very sad. Charizard dragged himself onto the chair. Zelda and Wario were just exiting the challenge area and walked up the stairs without a word. "Oh, it's you two. Looks like you had fun. Alright, one more team then we'll have an intermission. (end the chapter). Zelda, come spin the teams please."

"No." her abruptness shocked the staffman.

"Fine, Wari-"

"Don't even think about it, loser."

"I think you two are forgetting rule number one. You must abi-" Quickly he turned around and grabbed Sheik's outstretched hand. She was shocked. Immediately, she flipped out of his grip and clung to the wall.

"Just what do you think you're doing Sheik?" He asked threateningly. Her eyes were narrow.

"I was looking for...spare change." He raised an eyebrow.

"...That's your warning. Next time. Consequences will be dire." she nodded and faded into the shadows. "Alright. Now-" he turned to see everyone's mouth's wide open.

"That reaction time was on point…" Death fainted.

"Yoshi…" Yoshi fainted.

"*FAINT SOUND*" Duck Hunt's translator fainted.

"Everyone please! We must resume the competition. I'll hit the random button again, I suppose. It's not like anyone listens to me anyway…" he walked up and pressed the button. Nothing happened. "Oh yes. Kirby, start the team spinning." Kirby initiated operation spin the start team spinning. He clicked the button once more. The teams stopped with a bang. Not really. ' _Embraced Blades_ '. "Okay, team Embraced Blades, it's your turn. Corrin, Meta Knight, stand on the- oh you get it already." He said.

"Alright! My turn! Kamui, watch how it's really done!" Corrin boasted. Meta Knight silently walked forwards.

"Go get em' Meta Knight!" Falco slapped Meta Knight on the back. He didn't care. He carried as normal. The two jumped on the blue pad and zapped out of existence. At least, in the world. They had entered the world of 'The Game'. As everyone turned to watch the screen, there were two outliers. Oh, and Pittoo and Dr. Mario came back btw.

"He is hella fast."

"Amateur." Snake teased.

"Shut your damn mouth. Let's see you do better hotshot."

"Will do princess." Sheik growled at his response.

* * *

Corrin looked funny. So did Meta Knight. They were in an 8-bit game. Five lives each. Meta Knight tried speaking. A dialogue box appears, displaying the words he was saying.

"WhAt'S gOiNg On?" the box read. (this could end up being blinding and a pain to TyPe LiKe ThIs. I'll just do it normal and you use your imagination. Thanks pumpkin.) The chibi smashers walked down the hall, or should I say, to the right side of the screen. The voice appeared, but no one heard it. Nothing but a dialogue box. (insert this link into another tab and listen as you read for maximum enjoyment.  watch?v=6n4vJd3qYk4&index=68&list=PL6akIKaXBeU0aHA-pG0tfB-spcncnTk7D you're welcome.)

"I see you've come to the minigame manifesto! Now, you'll go through a series of test and games that you will have to complete to keep lives! Run out of lives and it's over for you! Ready? Let's play while the music's still good!" the voice shouted in it's horrid and scratchy voice. They warped to another area, where a table with a cloth lay. They looked at it confusedly.

"Eating challenge! Number one! Maggots!" maggots fell from the ceiling onto the plate. Corrin did a scoffing motion. Another dialogue box…

"Ha! Too easy!" he turned full chibi 8-bit dragon and devoured the worms quickly. Meta Knight, hiding behind his cape, ate the worms. Nobody was allowed to see him eat.

"Next!" Corrin shouted enthusiastically.

"Next? Fine! Next up is burnt rubber! Covered in cream cheese!" what he said fell from the sky onto their plates. Meta Knight's was gone before anyone could see, but Corrin hesitated. "Come on boy! Eat your rubber!"

"Uh...isn't this a little extreme?" he went dragon form again and swallowed it down. He gagged.

"That's more like it you two! Next up is a baked ketchup and boiled mustard sandwich! (this seems familiar…) The bake mustard boiled ketchup/baked ketchup boiled mustard sandwich fell from the ceiling. Meta Knight question this one. Corrin swallowed it down, barely stomaching it. Meta Knight refused to eat.

"Come on Meta Knight. Take one for the team…" chibi Corrin nudged. Meta Knight sighed, turned around and ate it. There was several groaning noises from over his shoulder. But he did it.

"Incredible! I expected you two to have barfed already! Nice going! Next challenge!" The next place looked like laser tag. The chibi warriors had laser guns and color coded vests on.

"Cool. Right Meta Knight?"

"Indeed."

"In this challenge, you must take down the four enemy players with that laser gun! Get shot and you will fail and lose a life! Ready, set go!" They tuck-and-rolled to the nearby corner. Corrin peaked around wall. There were neon lights everywhere. Finally, he saw two of the four they had to take down. He shot, nailing one in the head, making her fade out of existence.

"Got her! Meta Knight, take the other!" the little knight jumped on Corrin's head and shot the fleeing man in the foot. He cried out and faded from existence. "Nice shot!" a stray laser flew up and blasted Meta Knight.

"Corrin! To your...left…" he said as he turned into particles and disappeared.

"Meta Knight...Nooo!" Corrin was taking this game too seriously. He turned to his left to see to girls with their guns pointed up at him. The red haired one shot and he jumped over it. The dragon pulled the trigger and took one of the girls out. The last one shot twice, brushing past his neck. He threw the gun like a disc, knocking her right in the eye. The yelped in pain as he flew up to her, grabbed the gun in midair, and shot her in the mouth. They turned into particles and disappeared from existence. He felt like a true badass.

"Yeah!" he pumped his fist into the air.

"Nice nice nice! Meta Knight loses one life! Next challenge!" Meta Knight reappeared. Corrin was happy again. They warped into some strange platform. It was made of ice. Several guns aimed at them. "Survive for at least thirty seconds in this challenge! Go go go!" A large cannon shot, sending an iron ball at Meta Knight. One flew at Corrin too. Corrin, not noticing that the floor was ice, ran away from it, slipped, crashed into Meta Knight and sent the both of them careening off of the platform into their frosty doom, making them lose a life. The voice laughed.

"Bahahaha! You morons! Each of you lose a life! NEXT!" They were transported to a basketball court. They were on one side, and the other was shadow Mario.

"This one is simple. Score one point. You may play as offensively and defensively as you want. Alright, go!"

"Wait! What's the rush?" Corrin wondered. But it was too late. The game already started. Shadow Mario was jumping for a dunk, a monstrous jump. Meta Knight drew his sword and slashed the guy down. Quickly he regained his stance and the ball, taking it around the court. Corrin blocked him, but he punched the fire out of him.

"Uhf! H-hey! That's not fair!" the voice reappeared.

"I said ' you may play as offensively and defensively as you want,' did I not! It counts!"

"Fine then!" The Chibi dragon flew towards him full speed. Meta Knight jumped off of Corrin and stole the ball from shadow Mario, who was shooting for two. He dribbled and passed to Corrin. Corrin grabbed it and shot, but missed. Shadow Mario jumped up, but Meta Knight was too quick, knocking him out of the way and slamming the ball in the hoop. They got two points, ending the game.

"Yeah! Man, I'm really enjoying this team! Alright, next!" They warped to a square looking box, (switch to this music now  watch?v=dZSsi9ZbQ4U&index=35&list=PL6akIKaXBeU0aHA-pG0tfB-spcncnTk7D it's better for this.) that had white walls. "In this challenge, you mustn't get dead! Got it? Good! Go!" Corrin didn't get it.

"What do we not touch?"

"Corrin! Look out! Above!" Meta Knight pointed. He jumped out of the way as a square nearly crushed him. Another was dropping down. Chibi Corrin was lying flat on the ground. A T-shaped piece fell where he was, so he lifted his legs above his head. It placed and didn't move. Two lines laid themselves down on the far right.

"Corrin! We're in a Tetris box!"

"Oh shit!" that was censored. They hopped off block-to-block. The ground became flat, except for one hole. Corrin didn't see it. He ran over and began to stumble inside.

"W-woah! I'm falling!" Meta Knight ran and tackled him, sending him stumbling back, while the chibi knight fell into the hole. A line was coming down, beginning to place itself in the hole (hehe) Meta Knight had no time to get out before it came down. He stared up at his fate as it fell down and smashed him...almost. It stopped right in front of his face.

"Meta Knight! Find a way out of there!" Corrin shouted, holding up the line with his arms. It was surprisingly heavy. Meta Knight looked to his left and drilled his way through the blocks, up to the top. Corrin couldn't hold it any longer, his 8-bit arms being too weak. He dropped it with a thud. Luckily Meta Knight was right behind him. "Nice one! That was almost a Meta Knightmare. Get it? Because-" the little warrior shoved him. There was a noise and the entire floor disappeared, sending Corrin headfirst into the ground.

"Umf! Ow! What happened?"

"That, Corrin, is called a Tetris." Meta Knight told him. The dragonborn (hehe) shot him a mean glare.

"Good job fellas! Just one more then the bonus room!" They teleported for the last time. "In this final challenge, you have to defeat this alien! It's stronger than it looks!" Meta Knight stabbed it in the head before it even had a chance to materialize. It was over.

"H-hey! I didn't say go yet! Whatever, just go in the bonus room already. Good team, by the way. I'm rooting for you guys!" The bonus room doors appeared in fabulousness. The fabulousness doors opened wide, unleashing their fabulousness.

"Meta Knight, we made it! Let's go get some bonuses!" Meta Knight nodded and walked into the blinding light with him, leaving the beaten challenges beaten.

The bonus room was marvelous...no it wasn't. It was a total dump, muck and gunk everywhere, a thick, bubbly swamp of gunk. There was a sign that said 'GET TO THE OTHER SIDE AS FAST AS YOU CAN', but there was no boat. They were both disappointed that they got such a crappy bonus room. Hell, they would trade with Pittoo and the Doctor than have this garbage. At least the voice was there to make things worse.

"Now, you two have to swim across this monster infested water and get to the other side as fast as you can. You get two minutes to get over here, find mushroom cards, and defeat the final enemy, The King Snake. Also to get to the blue pad, so you better get a move on!" The skullface and bone numbered timer up. "Time starts now!" The dark numbers ticked down to doom.

"Oh no! Meta Knight! What do we do!?" Meta Knight kicked Corrin into the swamp and jumped on his back.

"You're my boat, now get swimming." Corrin choked on water.

"Hey! Not funn-" Meta Knight dunked his head underwater with his foot.

"Boats don't talk. Less yapping, more swimming. Corrin came up spitting water.

"Geez. I like water and all, but not this putrid muck. Dirty freeloader…" he said and he stroked against the water. They were moving pretty fast, not considering the fact that Corrin's thing was literally water. A green sea monster popped from the ground jaws wide. "What are you going to do about the sea monsters, Meta Knight?" the chibi knight scoffed. Wait, he's not chibi anymore because he's in the bonus room. Meta Knight jumped off of Corrin, sending him underwater. Instead, he jumped on the green sea monsters head and rode it to victory.

"That's a good boy." the monster swam extremely fast and got him to the end in under 17 seconds. He jumped off and nodded him off. Meta Knight, like a boss, began jumping back and forth around, gathering every mushroom card that he saw. "This should be enough. Now, let's go beat up the snake king." he told himself. Meta Knight ran straight towards his evil lair, but was shocked to find him already defeated by Corrin! "How did you get here so quickly?" Corrin smiled.

"Well I'm faster underwater than overwater." Corrin scratched the back of his head, but was then gulped up by the snake king, who was thought to be defeated.

"Let him go. Or I'll pull him right out of your insides." he threatened. The snake laughed. Meta Knight looked over at the time. 14 seconds left. "On second thought…" He ran from the snake, around the corner where he found the blue pad. He dove on it as the clock said,

"3."

"2."

"1!"

There was an explosion in the distance and snake guts flew everywhere. The room shrunk like usual and a very hurt and slime covered Corrin lie still.

"Come Corrin, let's go." he said and kicked him while he was down. The dragonboy slowly picked himself up.

"F-fuck you Meta Knight." Meta Knight nodded. The two partners warped out of the area.

* * *

"Alright everyone, the other two are on their ways back so you can-" the staffman backflipped over Snake as he had dove for his book. Damn he was quiet. The staffman landed on Snake's back and pinned him down. "Snake! What has gotten into you!?"

"Give me the book!" he grunted. Double L. slapped his forehead. The staffman looked confused.

"Is that what this fuss is about? No! You can't have my book! Go back to your seat! Or gigantic chair." He got off of him and Snake dusted himself off.

"Now, as I was saying- oh look, their back." he said. His shades show no expression, besides his eyebrows. Meta Knight and Corrin walked up the stairs.

"Man, that was awesome!"

"I guess so." the two chatted friendly.

"It's good to know that this competition is bringing people together." Fox yawned.

"Well everyone, it's time for the end of the cha-*ahem* I mean it's time for our intermission, so stretch your legs and do whatever you like. We'll pick it back up in thirty minutes. Crazy! Time-out is over!...Crazy?" There was a distant rumbling. Crazy was rushing around wildly, destroying everything in his path. Villager and Ville rode on top of him.

"Oh no! Everybody get down!" he dove out the way to avoid Crazy.

"I'M A JET FIGHTER! POW POW POW POW!" Crazy yelled as Ville pumped her fist in the air. Crazy shot bullets and missiles. Everyone ducked for cover.

"Oh my god! It's a Meta Knightmare!" Roy said. He was soon hit in the head with a brick by the little warrior.

"Mr. Staffman do something!" Lucina cried out.

"Crazy! Enough!"

"ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH! BOMB MODE ACTIVATED!" Crazy started glowing orange. The staffman's expression changed.

"He's going to blow!"

"Aaaaaaahh!" everyone screamed.

"WHY MUST IT ALWAYS END IN EXPLOSIONS!?" Pittoo screamed, but it was too late. Crazy nuked the whole area.

 **That's ten groups so far! Who's your favorite? Come back next month!**


	3. Teams 11-16 Sparkling!

( **128 swear words are in this chapter. I've been trying to limit the amount due to a kind reader's request, so tell me if I went overboard. And yes, it did take forever to count and no, it wasn't necessary. Just read the chapter and be happy for the hard work. This chapter was inspired by: My little sister, a buddy of mine named Ecenema, several other fanfics, and other stuff. I haven't been around, I know, but we all know that life ain't all that easy. Not that much time to do this, especially with long chapters. I took a month or two to cleanse myself mentally since I thought I was losing it at one point. That's why I was gone. But I am better now. Your love and support is welcome as well as feedback and complaints to make me a better writer. Thank you, you guys are the best, and if you skipped this section, well nevermind since you'll never get around to reading it. I worked super hard on this one due to absence, so I hope you enjoy it and comment. Leave a review every once in awhile! Also, I went through the first chapter and any winter or christmas stuff should be gone. Okay, did you know I like Taco's and burnt pizza? Good. Let's do this.** )

* * *

It had taken nearly an hour, but the staffman finally finished documenting all of the damages to the area. Strange thing is that nobody knew where they were, let alone whose property it was. It had been an hour since Crazy, Villie, and Villager nuked everyone, and the three had flown through the ceiling and hadn't come back yet. There was a small line of smashers sitting against a wall leading to a strange room; Dr. Mario's office. Many had already been treated, but there was still a lot left. Some didn't even need treatment; badasses like Ganondorf and Captain Falcon. Also R.O.B...he is a robot. The competition has been paused for quite some time, calling it a 'technical detour' and difficulties with technology. The staffman let his head fall, smacking the table hard and gaining the attention of the smashers. It had been pretty quiet and he had ruined it.

"Is there something wrong?" Rosalina approached him. The stressed man had his hands over his head.

"Everything. So much is damaged, I'm going to have to do something that I don't want to do." he sighed and rubbed his head.

"And what's that?" she asked curiously.

"I'm afraid I might have to reduce everyone's pay until we can fix this."

"Like hell you will!" most of them shouted at the same time.

"Look, don't blame me for this. You want the culprits? Over there." Villie and Villager were playing pattycake with the oversized hand. "Everyone's pay is getting reduced by half."

"I'M-A KILL THEM! LET'S GO!" Marth shouted, and the army of smasher marched behind them. Link, who was still sitting, rolled his eyes, knowing that this wouldn't end well. Almost all of the smashers had crowded around the two smashers. Crazy had left. Villager looked up and tapped on Villie.

"Well well well! Looks like you two are finally cornered! Not only did you explode us, well, triggered an action that led to an explosion, but now you two have gotten us reduce pay! What do you have to say for yourself!?" Many red gleaming eyes looked at them. Villager stood up and looked around. Then, he inaudibly spoke to Villie. Next, the two stood up and nodded.

"I-uh...What is that supposed to mean?" everyone asked. The two looked at each other and got into formation. Villie ran behind Villager and on his count, they both summoned a Lloyd Rocket and hopped on, straight into the mob.

"THEY'RE ATTEMPTING ESCAPE! EXECUTE TARGETS!" Shulk called out and it was full on war. But everyone who ran forward just got hit by their Lloyd train which builded a wall of smashers. Then they hopped off and exploded the rockets, sending smashers everywhere. But they got up like nothing happened.

"Okay, let's try that again…" Robin said, rubbing his head. "Archfire!" he shouted and launched a ball of flames towards them. Villager put it in his pocket. "Crafty aren't you? Smartass son of a b-" he mumbled. Everyone surrounded them again, this time, having a plan of their own.

"EVERYONE! START FORMATION: BUILD A (HUMAN) WALL!" Bayonetta called out and the smashers climbed on top of each other and formed a small wall around them. (Just so you know, Bayonetta's only doing this because she's bored.) The best friends were back to back as they really were surrounded this time. But Villie had a plan. There were five smashers on the bottom of the structure. Marth, Ganondorf, Wii Fit Trainer, Yoshi, and Samus (she put on her powersuit.) From above, things rained downwards on top of them. Cans, black food, bombs, more fire, spintops, energy beams, and tons of other stuff. Villager got hit with a frying pan and Villie was bombarded with bombs. She pocketed one and ran over to Ganondorf.

"Trust me tiny one, you're not getting past here." he said, until she dropped a bowling ball on his foot. "Gah!" he shouted, stumbling to stay up. But he managed. Villager attempted to ride a Lloyd rocket straight through Marth. He shot right towards him!

"Time to go Jousting…" Marth snickered, holding his sword in one hand, ready to fence Villager off as soon as he arrived. But Villie shot the rocket with her slingshot and made it explode, saving Villager's ass. She ran and pulled him away from the tip of Marth's sword. Villager stood up, thanking her and threw a ball of fire at Wii Fit Trainer.

"Hey! Watch it-oh ow ow ow! It burns!" she yelled and dove to the ground, sending the rest of the tower caving inwards. Villie and Villager ran out of the exposed hole right before the wall of smashers fell on itself, destroying the wall and each other. After the dust cleared, the two looked at the total smashers and danced. But they didn't notice Kirby was right behind them, who was confused what to do. So he winded his foot back and punted the two straight onto the blue pad! It mistook them for contestants and warped them into the next challenge.

"No! They weren't a set team! What happened!?" the staffman shouted. Quickly, he ran over to the CPU and checked. It immediately created a new team, and changing two other ones. It showed Villager and Villie in a team with the name of ' _Dynamic Duo_ '. Villager's old partner, Charizard (who now hates him) was paired up with Villie's old partner, Death (aka Robin (F) incase you've forgotten). Their team name was ' _Winged Destiny_ ' and the positions for the teams changed. And for some strange reason, Team Dynamic Duo was the only one to have a dynamic background, or any background at all. "Oh no. This isn't good at all." he whispered to himself. "Everyone back on the chair! Now!"

"Jeez, take a chill pill man. We were just goofing around." Falco shrugged.

"Marth almost stabbed Villager in the face!" said the staffman.

"...We were rough-housing." The staffman slapped his forehead and dragged his hand across his face.

"I was so close too. One more inch and splish…"

"Not helping Marth!" Kamui yelled. "That sword isn't a damned toy! Remember to use it with some respect!" Marth recoiled.

"Not only did you all hurt yourselves, but you ended up knocking them onto the blue pad and changed the teams!" Crazy floated from the sky. "And you didn't look cool while doing so! Bro!"

"Okay, in all honesty, the blue pad situation is the puffball's fault." Samus took off her helmet.

"No, it's all of your fault's. If you had just waited for me to finish my JOB, then you would've known that your pay will be doubled equal time after this stuff is paid for! But you couldn't even do that! Through these past couple of hours, I've realized that not even three-fourths of you know how to properly behave when around each other! What more do I have to do? Lock you in boxes!? How am I supposed to keep you all under control when you can't even keep yourselves under control? I've literally been attacked twice! TWICE! Do you see the insubordination in all of you? Trust me, I am very disappointed in almost all of you. I'm not sure what else there is to say. Not to mention that you're doing these things on TV! How stupid do you feel!? To know that you can't act right in front of the whole world! Different dimensions and timelines? How does it feel to know that the cold grasp of your mistakes and weaknesses are soon going to consume you, turning every part that you thought you knew about yourself into bitter nothingness and changing you into the person you never wanted to be? *sigh* You smashers don't have a good track record at all. Knocking each other into cactuses, flooding the mansion full of water, beating the life out of each other. And I don't even mean in the tournament. For the goddess's sake Samus, you broke Pittoo's nose and choked him out. Why can't any of you just seem to get along? You all are looked up to, you have reputations to hold! Stop destroying yourselves, stop destroying property, stop destroying the Smash Industry, and most of all, stop destroying Master Hand! Now what do you have to say for yourselves?" he fussed. Shockingly, everybody seemed a little taken aback and pretty much silently thought about what the staffman had said.

"EGADD SURE ISN'T DON'T TALK EINSTEIN GOOD ENOUGH."

"Mii Fighter, if you don't shut it right now, I will personally allow Sheik to do anything she wants to you! Understand? Don't answer that! Everybody get on the chair and shut up!" he said and barged out of the room. They slowly filed onto the chair, some quietly talking to one another.

"Hey. Psst." the cameraman whispered to Captain Falcon. "Should I start recording or…" Falcon nodded yes. He positioned the camera's nearly everywhere (most of them broken from the explosion) and said action to himself, simultaneously turning them staffman told them. Slowly they filed on the chair.

"I have to use the bathroom, so everyone hush and watch the accidental team Dynamic Duo perform. Joseph, please start the recording. I'll be right back." he walked out of the double doors and most of everyone did as they were ugly face poked it's head round the corner.

"Sooooo...What did we miss?" Dark Pit asked with a smirk on his face. Crazy peered back at him as Dr. Mario walked around the corner. The gigantic hand pointed to the chair. Quietly, they awkwardly ran onto it. "Looks like that staffman finally blew a gasket…" On the screen showed two confused smashers in a very, very bright place.

* * *

Villie was the first to get up. Even though the pain from Kirby kicking the shite out of them, they were still a bit dazed. She got off of the ground and shook her confusion off. She saw her bestie on his back, just as dumbfounded. She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her to see a large land filled with obstacles. They cheered and ran forward as fast as they could. The two slammed into a wall. The large land peeled off of a wall, fake paper. Behind it was a wall that read 'JUST KIDDING BITCH!', in other words, things were perfectly normal. Villie had a headache as she banged her head pretty hard. Villager was fine. All of a sudden, a door appeared against the black wall. It opened and welcomed the two into a shiny white room. A radio appeared in the corner.

"Yep! You already know who it is! Me! The one! The only! Your challenge today is fitness! Yep, time to get fit, you two chubbie buddies!" Villie lifted her shirt to show rock-hard abs and Villager lifted his shorts. Those calf-muscles were unmatched. "...Okay, not what I expected, but we're doing this anyway! This isn't some run-of-the-mill oatmeal we're talking about! It's 100%, lean green mean protein we talking about! Gotta get some real beef! Time to get started! Let's do some death courses!" The wall fell open and revealed a normal treadmill. Villager looked at Villie to notice she didn't look all that great. She was sort of...foggy. She stared off into space and Villager noticed she had a big bruise on her forehead and a small red dot making it's way down it. Looks like she hit that wall a lot harder than he thought. He waved his hand in her face. She didn't notice. He poked her cheek. Nothing. He pulled her along the ground, through the door, and next to the starter treadmill. There was another convenient bucket of water in the corner, reminding him of Team Graceful Gasses. He carefully set her down and grabbed the bucket. Instead of dumping it on her, he rubbed water on her face and other stuff.. Slowly, she came back to her senses and he helped her up.

"Oh, how _romaaaanitc!_ Why don't you just start to make out already!?" They stared into each other's eyes as heartwarming music began playing. They leaned into each other, closer and closer until... "Alright! Alright! Stop!" they smirked. "We got a show to put on, so hurry the hell up, or I'll blow you to bits!" the voice growled. Villager helped her onto her feet and they enthusiastically jumped on the treadmill. Villager almost broke it in half. Damn, those are some calf muscles…

"Now listen up you little bitches, I'm calling the shots! Now, run for your lives!" the voice disappeared. The treadmill grew way backwards, making it longer than three buses. And they were at the back. They didn't see anything to run from, but the ground behind them opened to reveal flaming hellfire and spikes and blood and demons. Then the treadmill turned on. They ran as fast as they could. Seriously this time. "Treadmill grill am I right!? Bwahahaha! I can't wait to see you two impaled!"

 _The voice cackled, thinking he'd had the two in his iron fist. But what he didn't know was that he was about to be very pissed. Villie and Villager were very capable, taken down the challenge because they were able. They ran down the treadmill like Nathan Drake. Leaving the danger as if they were on skates. Villie pumped her fist in the air, cheering and laughing without care. Villager jumped and flipped and kicked, making the voice one salty dick. The jumped off with big smiles, ignoring the danger left in heaping piles. The death trap disappeared, leaving the creator with many tears. "That was the best one yet!" cried the voice while the two finally met, the next challenge, chin-up bars which struck them familiar. And kind of peculiar. Everything easy appeared left and right. Making this dungeon super tight. This wasn't a challenge, but a fun room! That's what they thought, until they meet their doom._

"Alright, that was impressive, but try this! Get on the bars!" it demanded. Villager helped Villie up since she was kinda hurt. He jumped up and grabbed the handles, reminding him of Snake's arms. He was full of energy. The floor disappeared to show more fire and spike and demons and you get it.

"Keep doing chin-ups to avoi-wait, where did they go!?" the two seemed to have disappeared until the voice saw them spinning around the side of the bar like a windmill.

"Will you two stop and do the challenge right!? Oh whatever." All of a sudden, they exploded onto the ground. "That'll teach you to break the goddamn rules! Now get on the handles!" The crawled onto the handles. "Get going you little bitch! Chin-ups! Now!" They started doing chin-ups at an alarming rate. "Hey! Slow down you two! You're going to break the bar!" despite all logic, the two managed to snap the metal bar in two, swinging to safety. "Grr, you little cheaters! I'll get you! Time to call in the big dogs!" Another door appeared and Villie ran right through, Villager following behind.

The scene opened to see that they were actually outside this time. In a sort of...arena?

"Alright, you may be familiar with this enemy. Allow me to introduce, useless ball thingie!" the voice shouted, but nothing happened. A couple seconds later, they saw a strange black dot in the air, getting bigger. It sped towards them full speed, as if catapulted by a slingshot. Then they figured it out what it was.

"Arf arf!" cried Chompy. He flew and hit the ground hard, absolutely totalled.

"Oh get up you chicken wuss!" A 1-up mushroom fell on top of him and he got up, healthier than ever. "Now kill these two twats!" he commanded, but the useless ball thingie shook its body no. "What do you mean no!? I am your master, you shall obey me!" Chompy wasn't having it. "I'll let you see that one blue-haired woman! Shit, what was her name...ah! Yes! Lucina! I'll let you see your friend Lucina!" At the first mention of her name, Chompy activated kill mode. "That's much better! Now you two, try and see how clever you are now!" Villie ran straight and jumped into Chompy's mouth. He was shocked at first, but soon accepted the fact that it was that easy. But then there was a loud clang. Another one. One more swipe and she knocked one of his teeth out. It wailed and spat her out immediately. She had an axe in one hand. All of a sudden, it couldn't breath. She had planted a tree in the back of it's throat. It's mouth was lodged open as it choked, trying to draw air. Before Villager could do anything, Villie took the bomb she pocketed earlier and chucked it into the useless ball monster thingie's mouth. As if it were King Dodongo, it swelled up and exploded from the inside, a sick shade painted on his face. Villager was a little surprised at how his buddy easily took out the chain-chomp. Chompy squirmed on the ground, clearly have had enough.

"No! What was-how did-...What kind of monsters are you two!?" Villie's eyes shone stars and Villager allowed a demonic grin to cross his lips. "You're not done yet! Prepare for your final challenge!" another door appeared and they looked back at the defeated chomp one more time, then progressed. The voice sighed. "It's going to be difficult to hurt those two, but I have an idea. Anyways, as for you Chompy, back out of orbit you go." The same slingshot that sent Chompy on his nightmare ride appeared again. You already know where he got sent to. "Congratulations Chompy! You've earned a one-way all expense paid trip straight to hell!" he shouted and sent Chompy to the edge of existence.

* * *

"Son of a bitch hurt my Chompy!" Lucina cried out. Robin patted her on the back. "I'm pretty sure he'll be fine Lucy. Just focus on the competition."

"I thought they weren't allowed to take in outside items."

"Well, yeah Link, but they kinda got knocked onto the pad. It wasn't their choice." Corrin said, sipping from a cup of tea. The staffman had added a refreshments counter to help smashers get ready for their turn in the competition. Tea was one of the choices. "Besides, it wasn't cheating. It's a special ability of theirs. Totally legal." he took another sip. Kamui was right next to him, also drinking tea.

"Why are you both drinking tea at the EXACT same time? You're literally sipping at the same time."

"No we're not." they both said, taking a sip.

"My god your kind is confusing…" Link sighed. "I wonder where Zelda is…"

"Hey guys! What'cha doing?" Pit flew over, excited for some reason.

"Nothing much Pit. You seem excited, what's going on?"

"Lady Palutena said that since she told me all that gross stuff that I'm finally a full on grown man! I can get a beard now! And a mustache! And muscles!" he exclaimed. Link stared at him.

"Corrin, Kamui, I take back what I said. My goddesses, YOU are confusing Pit…" he stood up and left to go find Zelda. Pit looked a little confused.

"I don't get it."

"He means that he doesn't understand you. You confuse him." Robin casually looked over his shoulder. There were two more simultaneous sips. "Hey, Link was right. You two are the same."

"We are not the same!" Corrin shouted.

"Yeah! What he said!" Kamui repeated what he said.

"Well, prove it. What's so different between the two of you?"

Corrin and Kamui stood up. Corrin spoke first.

"I am a woman!"

"And I have chest hairs and am a guy!" they looked triumphantly towards the sky. Robin looked back and forth between them.

"K-Kamui, you have a...?"

"Dang right I do-wait...No no no! That's not the way we meant! Flip it around! Y-"

"My gods your kind is confusing…" Robin thought aloud, turning back around. The two looked crushed. Meanwhile, Pit was busy looking from Samus (who got out of her powersuit) back to Kamui. She noticed.

"Is there something wrong Pit?"

"Not exactly. I was just thinking about what Lady Palutena told me earlier, about how girls have different parts in their chest and they may look different. Like, Samus's chest is really big and yours is tiny."

"You mind running that by me again!?" she growled through clenched teeth. Her arm flexed to show that she definitely knew her way around a dumbell.

"Huh? Oh, I had said that Samu-"

"Well Pit looks like we should be on our way!" Robin hopped up and pushed him out of there before it got nasty. And they would have proven everything the staffman had said true.

"I swear to every angel in existence the nerve of some people…" she was in full flex now.

"Calm down sis. Look at me. It's okay to not be lucky in the chest. Ask Lucina and Villie."

"Wait! Corrin, do you think my breast are small? I'm asking sister to brother."

"Kamui that is not a conversation I am willing or going to have with you. That puts me in a very uncomfortable position. Let's just drink some more tea awkwardly close to each other and watch this team finish."

"Fine." she pouted. "Wait, how old is Villie anyway?"

"I don't know, 26?"

"Wait, do you think so?"

"Something like that."

"You're right. She's flatter than a surfing board."

"Must be hiding her breast in her pocket." Corrin scratched his head.

"Pfft-hahahaha! That was pretty good Corrin! Whew!"

"What? What!? I wasn't joking."

"Stop! Shut up shut up shut up!" Speaking of Villager and Villie, Corrin looked back at the screen, seeing that they were in some kind blue room. This outta be interesting…

* * *

"Hahaha! What are you two going to do now!? I've tied you up head to toe, and now you're going to finally feel the pain! The only way to escape is to-WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF!?" they were swinging in a large circle. "Jeez, sit still for one second. This was supposed to be the ultimate challenge and you are ruining my hard work! Now, as I was saying...Hahahaha! The only way to escape is to chew your way out! Or find out a way to untie each other. You have 50 seconds before I get to watch you burn! Gahaha!" said the voice as it echoed off the walls. The floor opened up once again to reveal the exact same stuff as last time. The voice really had a thing for spikes and fire. Villie and Villager looked at each other and nodded. They swung around each other, winding the ropes around in the ceiling. Like two shoe-strings, they spun around and around one another, making the knot tighter and tighter. But after the 743rd time of spinning around, they pushed off of each other, unwinding the rope, and flinging themselves around faster than a razor sharp saw blade. They quickly sliced straight through the tiny room, flying off of the ropes and spinning in a circle like a flower. Villager and Villie grabbed each other's hands to spin faster. They didn't know what the spinning was for, but frankly they didn't care. It was fun! The two reached the ground spinning with more strength than a windmill. Instead of stopping on the ground, Villie lost her grip and hammer-threw Villager right smack into the wall.

"Got you now you little smartass!" the voice shouted and opened a hole in the floor right below him. Villie dove and barely caught his hand. She pulled him up. The ultimate team. Villie and Villager.

"Alright, I'm sick of all of this! Defying the law of physics, romancing just to spite me, helping each other out, doing the impossible. It makes me SICK! That's it! Die now! Get out! Send someone else because I can't stand you two! Annoying little-" Villager ran over to the radio and pocketed it. That's better. But the voice was still there. "You clever son of a bitch. But you can't stop me! Goodbye!" There was a door leading to the bonus room about 500 meters away. Behind them, all of hell was crumbling. They looked at each other and nodded. Villie curled up into a ball and began spin like Sonic. Once she was full speed, Villager flashed a thumbs-up towards the Camera and backflipped on top on her. She flew forward and Villager moonwalked on top of her and pulled shades from out of nowhere. Quickly they outran the death following behind them, defeating the voice and his horrible voice of voiciness. They span towards the bonus room at maximuses of maximum speed. Villager pumped his fist in the air and belly-flopped on Villie, making a full super-sonic ball, making everyone wonder what the hell these two badass mother truckers are fucking made of. They exploded through the bonus room door with the speed of a bullet-train, sending pieces of the iron doors everywhere. ( **next bonus room isn't revealed until team Peachy Flight's turn. As usual, it's the last one.** )

* * *

"Well, looks like someone just pulled off a movie cooler than Captain Falcon's prototype move." Shulk said, stars in eyes and mouth drooling. "Who are these legends!? They can't do that in Animal Crossing!"

"Probably because Animal Crossing isn't that type of game, Shulk. Besides, that's supposed to be a peaceful game. Here, they are just releasing all of their energy." Death replied. Shulk ignored her. She was a party pooper.

"So cool…"

"Once you finally go, you'll see that it isn't so easy you know. A lot harder than it looks."

"How would you know? You haven't even gone yet!" he peered back at her.

"Well...yeah, you're right. But trust me, I know."

"Because of Robin?"

'Because of Robi-damn it! You beat me to the punch!"

"Whatever Death. I'm going to do great! Me and B...shit. I forgot."

"Why is Bowser so mad at you anyway? Did you pick on Bowser Jr.?"

"No, don't you remember? Way back when, at the swimming pool. Me and you were talking and that son of a bitch Sonic rammed into me and sent me into Bowser, which sent him into a cactus and into the bottom of the pool. That also sent water on top of Samus and she was pissed at me too."

"But that was like last month! I thought he got over it." she scratched her head.

"Well, he did, but a couple of days ago, I was snooping through some pictures of mine and found the one Link took of Bowser in the pool looking like an idiot and I had the grand idea of add memes to it and voila, the perfect picture. I posted it on Smashbook and he ended up seeing it. People would not let up and he now has something out for me. The staffman is the only person keeping me safe. And he left for a bit so I may be in danger." he looked over his shoulder.

"Shulk, he's not coming. And it's your own fault that he's mad. You provoked him. But, in all honesty, that was pretty funny. When he hit the pool floor, you could say he hit 'rock-bottom'!" Diddy Kong doubled over, fell off of the chair and exploded due to how bad the joke was.

Peach nudged Ike.

"What?"

"Look." she pointed to Robii-err-Death, who was laughing alongside Shulk.

"And?"

"You should get her before your chance passes." she hit him with THAT look.

"Peach, for the love of the goddesses-oh forget it. Hey! Death!" he banged his head against the wall he was leaning against. Death looked over with a smile. He signaled over and she came.

"Yeah? What's up?" Peach looked at Ike. Ike forgot to think about what to say, so let's pull a wild card...Ike uses terrible pick-up line!

"Do you drink milk, 'cause it sure did your body good." she tilted her head sideways.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"...shit shit shit...If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable." he smacked himself.

"Hehehe...You're acting a little strange, Ike. Are you feeling okay?" she asked, looking back and forth. Ike looked at Peach who signaled to keep going. He pulled his phone to his side and quickly looked up pick-up lines.

"Okay, here goes one. If I had to rate you one to ten, I would rate you nine cause I'm the one you're missing-shit. Should have read that before I said it. Forget about that." she looked more confused than before.

"Are you using terrible pickup lines from a strange site to hit on me?" she smirked.

"Uh...yes?"

"Ike, you're such a dork. Hey Kamui!? Can you come here?" a moment later, Kamui was being whispered to. Ike glanced at Peach and she was lost on what to do. Kamui said 'aha' and approached Ike.

"Hit me with one."

"Uh...okay? I lost my Teddy Bear, will you sleep with me inste-IGNORE THAT!" Kamui winced.

"Yep, that's bad. Really bad. Ike, try to hit on me normally. And don't use a pick-up line. They're awful."

"If you say so. So, Kamui, how have you been lately?"

"Eh, pretty good. Could be better."

"Well at least it's not raining right now. Been getting a lot of rain lately. If anything, I'm a little disappointed. I brought my poncho 'cause I thought it was gonna rain." he yawned.

"Yeah. There is something good about the rain though. Afterwards, it leaves a beautiful rainbow! So majestic!" Kamui's eyes filled with stars. Peach signaled Ike to compliment her.

"You're right about that. But it isn't anywhere near as beautiful as you."

"Cut! Cut! Cut! Ike, that was too bold! Take it slow!" Kamui pouted.

"Well I don't even know what we're doing! I was watching the competition and you showed up! What am I supposed to do?" he hit his head on the wall again.

"Ike, I'm trying to teach you about romance." Kamui said.

"Oh goddesses, not you too! Don't speak about this so loud, or those two dinguses will hear." he pointed to Marth and Roy who were laughing at one another's jokes. "Those two get involved and it will all go to shit."

"We need to make progress Ike."

"Peach! There is no progress to make! I am fine! What did I say like an hour ago!? Please, enough!"

"Ike, I know how feelings get bottled up-"

"Peach, is that all you talk about!?" Villager jumped on Ike's head and Villie hung on his shoulder. "And now these two are back! I just want to watch the competition. What do I have to do to get that?" Villager pulled his hair and pointed to the door. The staffman had finally gotten back. "Oh thanks. Now our little superviser is back to nag. Ouch! Villie! Knock it off!" she was kicking him in the butt. She latched onto his neck. Ike sighed. "Peach, let me see your golf club."

"Um...okay?" she grabbed her club and handed it to him. He handed it to Villager.

"Villager, I want you to hit me in the dick as hard as you can. As long as I'm hurt, I can be in Dr. Mario's office. Go ahead, don't hold back." Villager hopped off with a smiled. He aimed straight for Ike's balls and winded back the club. But before he could swing, Samus took it from him.

"Ike, you look like you could catch a break. Why don't you come with me?" she said casually, handing Peach the club.

"Finally. Thanks Samus. I'll be back Peach and Kamui, and hopefully you two are finished with your romance business. I'm out." Samus led the way and Ike waddled after her, Villie and Villager on his feet, pretending that he was some kind of ride.

"...Well that was fun." Kamui smiled at Death, who was staring off into space. "I'll see you, I'm going to go talk to my brother." she skipped off. Death looked at Peach, who had her face in her hands and walked off.

The staffman held his hand up in the air to get everyone's attention.

"Alright, We're a little bit behind, we need to immediately jump into the next round. And that last team wasn't supposed to happen, so it's going to be a bit longer until the intermission. Alright, normally I would ask one of the previous participants to press the random button, but seeing that Villager and Villie are both insane, I'll do it." he walked over and pushed it. Then looked over. Kirby was sleep. "Uh...Kirby. Kirby!" he jumped awake and started the team spinning. Then he pushed it. ' _Sublime Jump-Time_ ' appeared on the screen of maximumum amazingus.

"Okay, you know what to do. Palutena, Mario, come step on the blue pad. Mario hopped out of his seat.

"Finally! Some-a action! Mario time!"

"Now Pit, watch carefully. Take notes on my performance. I'm going to show you how a goddess does it!" Palutena lectured. Pit pulled out a pen and paper.

"I'll watch closely Lady Palutena! Don't hold back!" the angel thrust his fist into the air. Mario and Palutena marched on the pad. They faced each other. Mario was short.

"You ready for this Mario? Let's destroy the competition!" she smiled.

"It's-a time for us-a to show them what-a we're made of!" Mario seemed to be hyped. Little did he know that it wouldn't do him any good. There was the usual countdown blah blah blah, and they zapped from existence.

"So, I bet you twenty dollars that Palutena is going to screw up first." Samus whispered to Ike, Corrin, and Kamui.

"I'll take that bet. Mario's first." Corrin whispered back and the two shook on it. "You hear that, sis? I just won twenty bucks."

"Don't be so sure about that. I trust in Palutena's idiocy to carry me through. But let's just watch and see what happens." her eye flashed and the screen sparked up. Mario was on one side and Palutena was on the other.

* * *

Mario seemed to be in a separate hall than Palutena, similar to Mega Man's. Except he could hear Palutena in the wall next to him. Rather than waiting, the voice immediately announced the horrible rules of horrible.

"Oh thank god, I mean-gahaha! Welcome goddess and plumber to the path of riddles! Here, you'll have to answer riddles and questions to progress! If you get stuck, you'll be penalized and will continue. After a while, you and your partner will have to get together and answer the final riddle, aka The Master Teaser, and if you can't get that one right, I'll trap you here for all eternity!" Palutena rolled her eyes.

"Riiiight, all of eternity, death and dying, can we get on with it please?"

"You know you're really killing the mood right? Whatever, fine. Let the questions commence!" and with that, they both ran up to confront their evil! And to defeat their enemy in glory!...or just think about a lot of stuff. Mario was the first to go.

"Level one!" a newer voice said, except it was like a robot's. The robot voice read the question to Mario. "There are two parents who have three children. One is a boy and one is a girl. What is the last kid?" Hmm...Only one boy and one girl? What could the last one be? Mario tapped his finger on his hat. "Only fifteen seconds left."

"Wait, I have-a time limit? No fair!" he thought even harder. "Oh! I-a got it! One-a boy, one-a girl, and the last one is a goat! Because a baby goat is-a called a kid!" he snapped his fingers and flowers appeared.

"Correct! Advance!" the giant door fell backwards and became the floor. Mario jumped up and thrusted his fist into the air. Meanwhile, on Palutena's side…

"What do you mean I need to be more specific?" she argued with the door. Her question had been simple. There is a yellow man living in a round, white house with no doors or windows. What was it? And she hadn't been specific.

"Okay, to pass this door you have to answer the question fully. You haven't been specific enough." the door reasoned with her.

"But am I on the right track? I'm close right?"

"I can't tell you that! It's a riddle! Figure it out!" it yelled back.

"How can I get more specific than an egg? It's just an egg!"

"WHAT TYPE OF EGG!?"

"I don't know, a cuckoo egg?"

"YES! WAS IT THAT HARD TO ANSWER THE STUPID QUESTION? GEEZ!" the door slammed itself on the ground and became part of the floor.

"How rude. Some door you are. Who's walking on who now, door? Or should I say floor? And it rhymes!" she giggled and progressed. "So far so good. Let's just hope these doors ask questions better than Crazy Hand." she shuddered. "And hopefully no gameshows…" The next door grew from the ground and blocked her way.

"Heya, goddess! I've got a question for you! Alright, here goes...Okay, to be honest, I'm a little nervous. Could you turn around while I tell it to you? It's just harder to do when you're looking at me like that." the door somehow managed to blush.

"Uh..sure? Why not? Okay, is this better?" she looked over her shoulder.

"Much better! Thanks! Okay, a father and his son get into a car accident. The father is killed and the son is badly injured. He is taken to the nearest hospital and needs surgery. As the surgeon is about to perform on him, they immediately exclaim, 'I can't perform on this child, he is my son.' How is this possible?" Palutena shook her head.

"That's easy! The father actually wasn't dead and was extremely determined to help his boy recover so he ran with sonic-speed to the hospital to perform on him but then decided that he couldn't do it because if he screwed up, he would lose his son forever! Am I right?" she smiled. The door was silent.

"Okaaaay...I'm going to ignore that and assume you were joking. So, what's the answer?"

"Wait, that wasn't right? Not good…" she chewed her fingernails. The goddess heard another door open up to her left. Mario must have been on a roll. She searched the back of her head. _The father is dead, so that means it couldn't be him. In a family, there is a father, a mother, and a child. So what could it-wait! I got it!_ She thought and jumped up. "The mother is the child-I mean the mother is the surgeon!"

"Congratulations goddess! You may pass!" The door fell over like a whomp and became the floor. Palutena smiled.

"Ah! There's nothing that I, a goddess, doesn't know! Feels great to be so smart!" she danced on her staff. On Mario's side…

"What did the five fingers say to the face!?" the door shouted. This doors voice sounded and talked the way that many would say as...ghetto? Huh.  
"How am-a I supposed to know that? Uh...high-a five?" a hand appeared from nowhere and smacked the plumber.

"SLAP! HAHAHA! You stupid ass bitch! You walked right into it! Now, for the real question. Alright dog, here it go. There's a pink woman living in a one-story house. Pink kitchen, pink bathroom, pink floor, pink roof. Pink house. So what color is the stairs?" it chuckled. Mario rubbed his red cheek.

"Pink, obviously." the hand slapped him again.

"Wrong! You stupid. Bro, you need me to read the question again or what?"

"Yes! Stop-a slapping me!" the lil' dude repeated the question funkily. "O-oh! I-a see! The lady lives in-a one-story house! There are no-a stairs!"

"There you go, bro. Alright, you cool G. Now get ya little stupid ass movin'!" the door fell over and became part of the floor. There was an open hall with a gigantic door. He figured him and Palutena would have to work that one out then they would be at the last one. Now he just had to wait for her. And more switching. Do you know how much work it is to switch the story character? How much time it takes? Nah, I'm just joking. I love you dearest.

Palutena was faced with the last single-player door. And it was giving her a real hard time.

"Hey hey hey! You gotta be listening! Hear me? Listening!" it shouted enthusiastically. It spoke sort of like Crazy, except slightly deeper and more proper ( **In a way, I guess** ).

"I am listening! I've been listening for the last three minutes! Will you just tell the riddle already?"

"That's not how you ask nicely! You could have hurt my feelings!" the door sobbed. Palutena forced a smile and tried to speak kindly after being frustrated to no end.

"Could you please-pretty please tell me the riddle?" she mumbled through grit teeth.

"Oh! I like cherries! Put cherries on top!"

"WITH CHERRIES ON TOP?"

"Then again...cherries seem a little cliche...Ooh! How about onions! Say onions!"

"ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THE RIDDLE OR NOT!?" somehow, the door pouted.

"Fine...you're no fun anyway...The riddle is, *ahem* Mary's mother had five children. March, April, May, and June. Who is the fifth child?"

"July of course. That was easy." Palutena was electrocuted. Her elegant green hair poofed up into a spiky afro.

"Pfft-hahaha! You look so funny! But no, that's not right you sexy moron! Try again!" the thrilled voice laughed.

"I'm going to take that sexy moron thing you said as a compliment…"she mumbled. "You say that the mother 'had' five children huh? Well, that means that one of them has died doesn't it? You're not asking who is the fifth child, you are asking who died! Well, let's see...March was born before June who was ditched in a sand dune. She survived to tell May, who was shocked and didn't know what to say. She told April who was pretty steamed. He went to his brother March to be super mean. He grabbed a gun and told him to leave, but March was smart enough to get away in glee. He told April that he was really sorry, and April softened putting the gun away. But oh did March stray. He hit April in the face and grabbed a spiked mace. With a devilish grin, he lifted it into the air when a gunshot fired when he dared. March looked down to see a patch of blood, looking up to see who could. It was June who had the gun, dropping it so she could run. March lay lifeless on the floor as May's water broke and blood started to pour. It pained her so and started to scream and cry as she gave birth to her new child, July. So March died and July is the fifth child." she smiled. The door shocked her silly.

"What in all of hell was that? You are super bad at these! I'll repeat it since you so dumb! Man, after this, can we play checkers? Whoops, I'd better focus. Anyways, Mary's mom has five children. March, April, May, and June. Who is the fifth child?"

"Okay, if it's not July, then what can it be...think Palutena think...What would Pit say?" she imagined Pit's face.

 _Lady Palutena! Can we meet Mary and her family? They sound pretty nice!_

"That's it Pit! Mary! Mary is the fifth child! Take that you door scum!"

"Ye-"before the door could finish, Palutena kicked it off the unlocking locks and stomped it onto the ground. "I'll show you to zap a goddess! And Viridi said I didn't have it in me! Well take that asshole! And I mean like a donkey! Not the swear word!" she gleefully skipped to the next room. Mario was snoring in the corner. "Oh come on, I didn't take THAT long!" Mario wiped the drool off the side of his mouth and stood up.

"Hurry up already!" he ran towards the giant door.

"Alright I'm coming!"

* * *

"Well, this is interesting so far. Got a bunch of brain teasers. Unfortunately, I've already heard most of these." Link looked to his side where he found a very disappointed Samus and a richer Corrin. "What's up with you, Samus?"

"Mario's dumber than I thought that's what's wrong…"

"Now now Samus, you don't have to be salty. It happens to everyone. Especially you." Corrin sneered back at her.

"I'll show you how salty my fucking fist is when I shove it up your ass…" she mumbled.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sulk. 'Cause I'm a motherflippin' winnah!" he flexed.

"Don't push it asshole. Swallow your victory like a winner and not a shallow cun-" speaking of shallow, where is Pittoo? It's been a little while since we heard an inappropriate comment. He's somewhere.

"Yo, Sammy. Come here real quick." Snake was picking at something at the ground, which was green since they were on the chair.

"What's up?" she asked, running over.

"Do you think this chair pillow will come off?"

"Um...yeah? Why do you ask?"

"Well, you're a bounty hunter correct? And you like money?"

"Sure, but I don't see how these things have anything to do with each other." she scratched her head.

"Samus, if we could get this pillow off, or into the chair, we could find giant spare change that could offer to be quite a profit." Samus pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Snake, what the hell are you talking about? We're not getting 'giant spare change'. What kind of ridiculous plan is that?"

"Okay, normally I would watch the competition, but it's about riddles and I don't care for that. This also doesn't seem like a bad plan. And it doesn't backfire either. Come on, it's worth a try. Besides, I'm bored and you don't look like you got anything better to do." he took the cigarette from his mouth, careful not to drop it. "We can bring Double L. too." Young Link waltzed over. Samus sighed.

"Fine Snake, fine. Let's just get this over with while no one is looking." The exact opposite. Literally everyone was looking at them. "Oh my god…" she crawled in between the crack of the back of the chair and the cushion. Followed by Young Link, followed by Snake.  
"What in Sam Hill are they doin'?" Dedede wailed.

"Don't ask. Just don't ask." Roy shook his head. "Pretend nothing happened and we'll all be safe. Trust me." Dedede looked confused, but turned his attention back to the screen. Mario and Palutena were being shocked like crazy, apparently having a hard time with this door. But before that, we got another little side-story.

* * *

It was pretty cramped at the bottom of the chair, not too mention dark. Snake looked around as he army crawled. Darkness there and nothing more. ( **I think I've used that twice now. Huh.** )

"Samus, do you see anything?"

"Do YOU see anything? Hell no I don't see nothing."

"Maybe if we had a flashlight...All I have is a lighter."

"Yeah sure, use that if you want us to die in a hellfire. This is why I should've worn my powersuit…"

"I'm not using the goddamn lighter obviously. We need a way to see. Double L, got any light arrows?...Double L?"

"Snake, I just noticed. It smells like alcohol. Were you drinking earlier?" Samus crawled forward.

"No. Unless...Shit! Double L, how much milk did you have!?" Snake couldn't see him good, but he was pretty sure he was smiling goofily. "Samus, we gotta get out of here. I was bored before, but this is worse. Much worse." There was a squeak and something heavy pressed on top of Samus.

"Snake, I think somebody is sitting on me. Someone heavy. I'm stuck." Snake hit his head on the soft bottom of the chair.

"What do you mean you're stuck?"

"I think someone is-ugh! Sitting on top of me!"

"Damn it Sam! Double L, where the hell are you?"

*Translation*

"Ehe-hehehe…"

"Young Link! Where are you!"

"I'm...I'm...Cooooooorn…"

"Aw son of a bitch. Really L.L.? I should've known you were drunk. I keep forgetting, how old are you anyway?"

"H-hey, Snaky?"

"What?"

"Can we go to the park?"

"You're too damn old for the park! Let's get out of here. I'm not sure what I was expecting."

*Un-Translation...I guess…*

"Snake, help me!" Samus wriggled.

"Oh for god's sake Sammy, can't you just push it off? Chozo DNA and stuff?"

"I'm in an awkward position. I can't push. I'm stuck from the waist down."

"Alright, lemme think...Here, I'll pull it out." Little did they know that some perverted bastard had his ear pressed against the pillow, listening to every single word.

"You can't just pull it out, like I said, I'm stuck."

Here, I'll try moving your legs…" Snake crawled over to her, barely seeing her. He tugged on her legs.

"Ow, Snake, that hurts."

"Samus, move along with me. I can't be doing all of the work."

"Snake, come a little closer. You might be able to get a better grip."

"Ehehe...Hey, Snaky?"

"Not now Double L. we're busy. Samus, come this way."

"Alright, we're moving. I think we are getting somewhere." Samus grunted.

"Hey, not so loud. You know what the others might think."

"Hey Snake."

"What's wrong?"

"You're grabbing my ass."

"Whoops, my bad. It's hard to see."

"It's fine. You're fine. Whatever you have to do to get me out, feel free." she slightly blushed and then sighed.

"Maybe if I could get whoever's sitting on you off...Hey Samus!"

"What? Something good?"

"Yeah! I found a giant nickel!"

"Snake, get me out of here! Also, you're splitting that with me!" Snake rolled his eyes and squirmed to Samus' front side.

"Alright, we can't pull out while I'm back there but if I'm up here…" he grabbed her outstretched hands and pulled.

"Snake, hold on. I'm laying on a spring. You're dragging my breasts on it."  
"Do you want to get out or not?"

"Fine. Hurry up."

"Snaky?"

"In a minute Little Link. We're almost there…"

"Just a little more Snake…" Snake pulled a bit harder and Samus groaned. "How the hell did I manage to get stuck? Can't we send Young Link up there to move whoever is on me off?" she whined.

"No. He's too drunk, and also, if we're left down here alone, we are going to get a lot of shit once we get back up. Damn, just noticed how hot it is under here."

"I'm just surprised that we haven't smothered yet. Hey Snake, the person's weight is shifting! Quick, pull me!"

"I got you. We're sliding out!" he smiled and freed Samus from her strange soft prison. The spot Samus was at had a sword stabbed right through the middle. I guess that person got suspicious.

"What the hell? Whose sword is that?" she gasped.

"'I'm not sure. It doesn't look familiar. Here, let's get out of here. I'll get that nickel. And Samus?"

"What's up?"

"I was right once again. And you owe me." he cheekily smiled. She rolled her eyes and crawled to the exit.

"Hey, where's Young Link?" Young Link had gotten comfortable and went to sleep on his back. Snake face-palmed.

"I'll get him. Let's just get the hell outta here. I'd rather be bored up there than stuck down here." He lugged the giant nickel around as if it was nothing and pulled along L.L. too. While crawling. He can hold a lot I guess. Samus pulled herself in between the thin slit between the pillow and chair.

The light burned her eyes when she lifted out of the chair. Nobody was really watching her, so she got off scot-free. Or so she thought. Of course, there was a little idiot that heard everything.

He stared up at her with a goofy grin and she looked back at him. She knew what was coming next.

"Was it good for you?"

"Will you get the fuck away from me already!?" Samus stomped off as Pittoo laughed his guts out. Until he was smashed by a really big coin. Snake popped himself out like a flower and threw Young Link to the cushiony floor. Ganondorf was eying a spot on the ground suspiciously while holding a sword.

"Well, I don't know if it was worth it or not, but we got profit out of this." Snake sighed. "Eh? Sammy, where did you go?" he said looking around. The staffman was on the chair in a flash and picked up the huge coin like it was nothing.

"Good work Snake, this will definitely help pay off some of the fees." he smiled at him.

"Hey, what? I worked hard for that, I'm not going to let you just take it." the staffman stared back at him. He knew that he would probably get kicked out. "Fine, but just give it back for a while. Asshole." the staffman set the coin down and walked off of the chair.

"That's your second warning Snake."

"Man, I always hated rules. Welp, at least I get to keep it for a while." he hefted it onto his shoulders. A smashed dark angel lay motionless. Snake shook his head. "L.L. take this poor animal to the Doctor's office." as Young Link hauled the fatso to the doctor Snake looked around at all of the questioned expressions aimed at him. Pissed, he pulled out a shotgun and blew Rosalina face to pieces-I mean, Snake looked around to see many curious faces staring at him and the coin. It had to be twice his size at least. But since he had mostly everyone's attention, he got one thing straight. Bricks. Because bricks are straight. Good.

"Okay, for everybody who's listening, if anyone touches this coin, whatever you touched it with, I'll cut it off. Keep away." he yawned. Everyone rolled their eyes and turned away. Speaking of turning, the gears in a distant clock worked very hard every day. Great job gears. Also about turning, Snake turned to the screen. Mario and Palutena have been really stuck. They have been in there for like 13 minutes. They were friedier more than hot fries. And that's pretty fried. Frizzy.

* * *

"Okay, repeat-a the question one-a more time…" Mario rubbed his head after being thumped with a hammer.

"Sigh, fine. Last time. A rich family lives in a large round house. In the family there is a younger brother, an older sister, and an oldest brother along with a mother and a father with a chef, two teachers, and a maid that works for them. One day, the wife is found dead at the foot of the stairs with her neck broken. The family immediately turn to the chef, one teacher, and the maid. The janitors weren't at the building during the crime. When confronted, the chef says he was preparing buffalo soup for supper, the teacher claims she was helping the youngest brother with science, and the maid tells that she was dusting the corners outside the house. Who did it and how do you know?" the broad voice fussed. Palutena had a super spiky afro.

"Okay, It's the chef. I know because supper hasn't been served yet!" she smirked. A giant broom swept her into a pit full of bees. They locked her into it. Hopefully she doesn't stir them up...Just be still…

"What-a was that for? Get her outta there!" Mario yelled.

"No! I'll let her out later. Hopefully she doesn't upset the bees. Now, what is your answer?" I don't know how, but the door smiled.

"Okay, it was-a the maid."

"Why do you think so?"

"Because-a you said she was dusting the corners of the house. Liar! They live-a in a triang-er I mean circle house! There are-a no corners! Take-a that!" Mario shot a fireball. The door sent it back and set him on fire.

"That'll teach you to attack me. But yes, that's the correct answer. Congratulation! Your reward is 'THE KNOB OF WISHES'!" As Mario rolled onto the ground, a large knob fell and smashed him in his head. He pushed the knob of wishes off, not realizing how much pain he was in. Hammers, fire, electricity, a large knob. And to make it all worse it's not even the voice doing it. The voice is way more intense. Mario nearly regretted doing this. Solitude might not be so bad.

He picked up the heavy 'THE KNOB OF WISHES' with both hands and stumbled to the door.

"Good! Now stick that into my hole and twist it for entry!" if Mario wasn't mature, he would've giggled. But he moved 'THE KNOB OF WISHES' into the magical hole and created the 'DOOR OF ENTRY'! The door looked ecstatic.

"Oh yeah, twist it just like that…"

"What?"

"Nothing! You have helped me evolve into the 'DOOR OF ENTRY' and now I shall release your friend and grant you entrance." The floor opened up, but unlike the usual spikes and death, Palutena was inside reading the bees a story.

"He said to Billy, 'Hey! That's my honey!' But Billy Bee ran far away. 'I'd better go get my honey back! Will you readers help me?'" she read aloud. The bees did a little dance. "'Thanks! Let's go-'" Palutena stopped mid read to see Mario staring down. She closed the book.

"Okay friends, to be continued. That was fun. Bye!" The bees didn't take that for an answer. Palutena soon had hundreds of stingers aimed directly at her face if she didn't keep reading. She signaled Mario with her eyes. "Psst, Mario. Help."

Mario was to busy laughing his head off to hear Palutena.

"Want something done, you got to do it yourself. Who wants to read more?" the bees all back up a little bit. She re-opened the book. "Henry the bee says,'I'm glad you're helping me! Want to hear some magic words for us to get the honey faster?'" the bees danced. "'Good! It goes like-' Heavenly Light!" Palutena held her staff into the air as a light from the heavens roasted the bees into crisp dinner-*ahem*, crispy fried corpses. She crawled out of the hole. Mario had finished.

"Well, thanks for not helping me."

"You are-a welcome!" he smiled at her.

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh. I didn't think you were-a capable of-a doing that since you're-a goddess."

"Wait really?"

"No-o! I was-a being sarcastic! Let's-a go!" he ran forward. Palutena shot him with a beam and skipped forward as he glared at her.

"What? C'mon Mario, it's time for us to continue to the final door. The BONUS door. The bonus room." she mocked, shaking her body from side to side in a childish manner.

"You are only-a lucky that we are-a partners otherwise I wouldn't-a hesitate to take-a you down." he rubbed his head. The door was still open as she skipped away. He slowly waltzed after her. But before he left, the open door smashed him and turned into the ground. Mario crawled his way through the dirt and dust and pulled himself out of the ground. Like a vegetable. Carrot! Anyways, he walked after the cheeky goddess.

They arrived to a door larger than the one that leads to Master Hand's office. It didn't seem to be alive. Hopefully this one doesn't fall on Mario, otherwise, he's not coming back.

"HELLO!" shouted a teeny tiny baby voice. It took the two awhile to realize that it was the door.

"Uh...hello? I'm-a Mario!" the plumber nervously spoke back.

"SO, I HEARD THAT YOU WANNA OPEN ME UP AND EXPERIENCE THE BONUS ROOM? WELL TOO BAD! THERE"S ONLY ONE WAY TO PASS THIS DOOR! AND IT'S NOT A RIDDLE!" it squeaked.

"Then how do we get past?" Palutena was soon cut off to the ground rumbling and rising out of the ground. Where Mario and the goddess stood is where the ground rose, two tall spires of infinity. They stared at the ground as it soon got smaller and smaller and smaller. Soon, they were up to the doors height. They tried not to fall.

"What's-a goin' on?" Mario shook.

"I"M GLAD YOU ASKED! THE ONLY WAY TO GET PAST HERE IS A FIGHT TO THE DEATH! GO!" it shouted and went silent. The two looked at each other.

"Palutena, there-a has to be another way to get out of-a here! He-ey! Palutena! Are you-a listening?" he called after her. Palutena was staring down into the endless abyss below them. She spoke very slowly.

"Mario, I have an idea of how to get out of here."

"You-a do? What is it?" she turned towards him and pointed her staff in the air.

"Autoreticle!" she shot three beams at Mario, but swiftly, he sent them back at her with his staff. She was blasted and slowly wobbled over the edge, yelping as she went down. Mario looked over the edge as she disappeared.

"That's-a what you get you-a lying, cheeky gargoyle!" he called yelled over the edge. "It didn't have to be like this. We could have-a gotten out of here…"

"CONGRATULATIONS MARIO! YOU GET TO ADVANCE TO THE BONUS ROOM!" Mario wiped his forehead with the back of his head. "AFTER YOU SOLVE THIS RIDDLE!" it cackled.

"Damn-a it! You-a piece of sh-"

"DON'T WORRY! IT'S AN EASY RIDDLE! NOW, HERE GOES…" before the door could start the riddle, Flyguys (the Shyguys that fly) carried an impatient goddess back to her platform.

"Thank you…" she grumbled as a blue one nodded and signaled the others off. He too flew off after giving Mario a dirty look.

"'BOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP! NOW, THE RIDDLE IS…  
THERE ARE TEN FISH IN A TANK! THREE GET OUT! FOUR DIE, AND ONE KILLS HERSELF! HOW MANY ARE LEFT?"

"Two." a large gust of wind blew Palutena off her platform.

"PLUMBER? YOUR ANSWER?" it's tiny voice rung. Mario snapped his fingers and smiled.

"None! They're all dead at-a war!" dramatic music sounds. "That-a idiot goddess thought it was-a two, and I knew that-a it couldn't be the simple answer of-a ten since one-a killed herself. Tank? You mean-a tank! The fish were at war, and they all-a are gone! Five died, three went MIA and were-a killed when-a they were found, and the two who-a stayed and fight were killed after-a they were-a captured!" Mario smiled like a bright-ass fucking handsome devil. The door was shocked.

"H-how did you figure it out?" baby voice door stammered. Mario threw his hands up in the air as the Flyguys once again brought an impatient Palutena back. The yellow one flipped Mario off behind his back.

"It's-a simple…" everyone leaned in to hear how. "Me and-a Luigi saw it on IFunny on-a day." the door facepalmed without hands or any limbs. No one knows how it managed.

"FINE, YOU WIN. ENTER THE BONUS ROOM…" a large knife stabbed the door. "AUGH! DOOR CHRIST! THE PAIN OF BITTER DEFEAT! I WAS SO YOUNG, OH DOOR GOD! WHY DID IT HAVE TO END LIKE THIS!? DOOMED TO DIE!? I HAD BABY BABY DOOR CHILDREN AND A BABY DOOR WIFE! MY LIFE WAS A MISTAKE! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THIS JOB! GAH! WHHHHHYYYY MEEEEEE!?" everyone stared wide mouth at the giant baby door's pain. Toon Link nuzzled closer to Rosalina. Wario took off his hat. Olimar had a moment of silence. Bayonetta smirked. "AHHHH! NOOOOOOO! TELL MY WIFE THAT I KNOW SHE CHEATED ON MEEEEEE!" it screamed, fell over and turned into the ground, revealing the shining light of beauty of the magnificent awesome cool good ultimate bonus room.

"Thank you…" Palutena mumbled and sent the Flyguys away. "Well, that sure was...uh...interesting. Where did the knife come from though?" she turned around and there was the voice. Well, actually, it was an old red rusty radio, but the voice usually came from it. How it threw the knife is beyond me.

"What the hell are you looking at? Hurry up and get outta here. I'm on break." the voice said. For some reason, Pit had the feeling that the voice was smoking a cigarette wherever he was. Palutena scoffed and turned around to see light shining on the air.

"Well Mario, shall we go?" she asked him. He still had a grudge. He looked to see a badass path of light.

"Let's-a go!" Team Sublime Jump-Time finally walked to the hall of gold, the bonus room.

* * *

"Well that was also anti-climactic." Shulk sulked ( **heheh...and it rhymed!** )

"Well, everything can't be THAT exciting Shulk." Death told him with a plain face.

"You don't always have to be so dull. I feel like I'm the only cheery one here." he mumbled. Death stared at him and pointed behind herself. Villager and Villie were walking off each others steps into the air, therefore walking to the heavens. "I said CHEERY, not insane." she pointed to her left. Roy and Marth were poking Bowser in the sides. He was not ticklish. "They're not cheery, just dumb. Or at least playing dumb." she once again pointed, this time to her right. Lucina was latched onto the staffman's leg while he drug her on the ground and Robin was desperately trying to get her off. "*sigh* she's being really weird right now. Not sure why, but Lucina doesn't count." he yawned. Death folded her arms.

"Well, that's unfair. You're weird too, but you don't see me complaining."

"Pssh, whatever. Nothing wrong with being weird. I'm ME after all."

"And that's the problem. You're you." Shulk looked at her.

"There is nothing wrong with me. Right Ganondorf?" Shulk asked with a smiled. Ganondorf, who was to his left, was repeatedly stabbing the ground.

"What do you want?"

"Uh...what are you-anyways, do you think I'm weird?" Ganondorf stopped what he was doing.

"Why does it matter?"

"Well...I just...is it bad being weird?"

"No. Look at me, in my true form, I'm, well, going off of what that boy said, a giant pig monster. Does it look like I care? You, weird? Think again Monado boy." he looked him in the eye bitterly.

"Well, you got a point I guess. Thanks."

"Shulk, stop bothering him. Keep your strange insecurities to yourself."

"I'm not insecure! Just concerned! How about you keep your wanna-be-Grim-Reaper ass out of my conversation?" he pouted.

"What's that? I couldn't exactly hear you over your moans as you 'really feel it'. Feeling it up your ass is what you mean." she smiled to herself as Shulk turned away. Palutena waddled out while Mario had a hand on his face. They stepped off of the blue pad and got onto the chair without any words.

"Well Robi-err, Death, besides you being horribly rude, looks like Mario and Palutena are out. Which means that the chances for one of our turns has presented itself. Oh man! I can't wait!" he barely contained himself.

"Okay, Mario and Palutena, I know that you may be very embarrassed at your awful *ahem* performance, but i do have something to say. Please, this should be a team effort. Remember team Galactic Wings? What about team Clown Sta-okay, not so much of them, but still. If someone like Pittoo can do it, so can you two. Now bring your shame and hit the button please." the staffman walked over to a desk (with Lucina on his leg) and wrote some things down on a clipboard. Mario mumbled to himself as he walked over to the button. He pushed it before the teams began spinning and created a vortex, inhaling all of existence…

I'm joking.

Mario watched the teams spin at Mach 5 and smashed the button to pieces. Shards flew everywhere as the spinner slowly stopped.

"Mario! Don't destroy the button! Great, now what!? Go sit down!" the plumber kicked one of the shards at him and walked onto the chair. The staffman looked at one of the shards on the ground. The he looked at the screen. ' _Time Warp_ ' it read with two smasher's on it. Link stood up and scratched his ass.

"About time. Alright, let's get this over with…" he walked down the cement stairs to find Bayonetta already waiting on him. He turned around then back again. "H-how did you-"

"Ah ah ah! What was rule number one in my book of rules?" Bayonetta asked.

"Uh...Don't ask Bayonetta about how or why she does things."

"Exactly. Now hush and let's step on the blue pad." she smiled as she already appeared to be on the blue pad. Without moving. How did she-oh wait. Rule number one.

"Okay you two, hopefully your performance will be ten times better than the last. Are you ready?" the staffman adjusted his shades.

"Um...I guess. You ready Bayo?" Link looked up. She towered above him. "Good god you are tall-" Link finished as he was warped out of guts glory uterus. What? Oh yeah, I meant existence. Mario and Palutena were still pouting on their chairs. What happened to them during their bonus room excavation? Who knows? You must use your imagination. Yoshi was tired.

* * *

Link and Bayonetta spawned side by side, neither knowing what the objective was. Just a random place with stairs. Some stairs going up and some stairs going down. Come to think of, there were stairs going to the side and stairs going to the diagonal upside left. Stairs going to the around and stairs going to the town up and down frown hound. Stairs everywhere. A labyrinth.

"Uh...Bayonetta? Where are we?" He looked up. She was standing on the ceiling. Not because of powers or anything, but just because the gravity was apparently shifted for whatever reason.

"I'm not sure child. But I do know that we are in two entirely different places, even though we seem right next to each other. Where is that bloody voice?" she looked around to the endless abyss of the sky.

"Looks like we're on our own this time. Well, do you have any idea where we might be headed? I don't even know where left and right is in this place. At least you can say that we have plenty of time, am I right?" he cheekily smiled at the witch. She stared deadface at him. "Heh heh...get it? Our team name is T-"

"That's enough talking out of you unless it's useful. Now silence." Link looked down-or up according to Bayo. This was one weird place. And there seemed to be no end. Finally, that useless asshole that we know as the voice showed up.

"Sorry I'm late! Not really! Okay kiddies, let's get this party started! Now, I know that you may feel confused on where you are, but since when does that matter? Your challenge is simple! Reach the goal!" A beacon appeared close to Link on another staircase off a ledge. He could probably jump down and get it. "Just get to this point and the bonus room will open. Easy right? Nope! You have a _time_ limit! Haha! Get it, time? Anyway, you'll have 8 minutes before this place crumbles and you're lost into the void! Alright ready? Go!" the voice shouted and the death skull timer appeared, making Dr. Mario foam at the mouth.

"Bayo! I think I can just jump down and get to it! This is actually pretty easy!" he smiled.

"Okay, just be careful little one. I don't need my partner to get hurt. Then I would have to do everything and that's not fun for anyone. Now, chop chop! Hop to it! Literally!" she said and he nodded back. Link looked down at it, probably an eight foot drop, but he could handle that easy. He's good at that type of thing. He ran and jumped forward and down...but his gravity changed due to the sideways surfaces and he face-planted into the ground. The hero got up and rubbed his face. No damage. But he did squeal at first, which was pretty funny.

"Shit. Looks like it's not that easy. Well, hopefully Bayo can figure this out on her own. I got to figure a way over to there...by walking on the stairs." he walked over to said stairs and began to do it the boring way, instead of jumping down all of them at once and breaking his knees. Would've been fun, but no. As he was midway down the stairs…"

"Man, I gotta hurry. There's not much time to figure this ou-augh!" the ground started to shake as the world began to crumble. Shards of the ground flew around like a whirlwind. Link slipped down the stairs, flailing his arms wildly. "Gah! Oof! Ow, my knees! At least they're not broken." that sucks-er, Link had fallen down and landed on his knees. He slowly got up in pain, as the stairs are made from a solid brick, similar to ruins. He stumbled over to the edge and let himself fall, shifting his gravity and landing on his feet.

"So that's how this place works huh? Well, this should be a bit easier than I thought!" the clock ticked down to 7:09 minutes. It had already almost been a whole minute. "Crap, time always moves so quickly!" he ran down a few more staircases and changed walls from here to there. Link turned towards the beacon. He seemed to be under the platform he needed to get to. There were two doors on a wall. There was also a sign. ' _Only one of these doors help your progress! The other slows your partner!_ ' it read.

"What a useless tool. Why not just go around?" Link rolled his eyes and stepped over the side of the ground and walked on the wall. He ran into another wall with another sign. ' _Because if you do that I'll stick a fucking knife up your ass._ '

"Oh-kay. Looks like I'm not walking around." Link walked backwards back to the door. "Could've done without the hostility. But whatever." There was a green door and a foggy orange door. Link thought about it for a little bit. _Hmm...It could be a reference to team Electric Rays. The green one looks good, but it could lead to something bad. Looks could be deceiving, so I'll go with the beat up door!_ He thought. As he went to open the orange door, it started making weird noises. Turns out, it was sobbing.

"Really?" it spoke. "Is that what you think about me? Beat up and ugly? Well then fine! Who needs you anyway? I'm just fine on my own!" the orange door literally pouted. The green door giggled.

"Ha! You're not even wanted in a challenge! You are so useless! Tahahaha! You talk about being a lone wolf when you're only alone because nobody wants to be with you! Me, I'm beautiful! Look at this shiny handle! All the ladies open me!" it posed. Link was dumbfounded.

"You guys can speak and read my mind?" he turned his head.

"Of course I can! I could tell you exactly what you're thinking about right now!" the orange door cried out. Link placed his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side while smirking.

"Fine! Who am I imitating? I have them in my head right now, someone who lives in a mansion with us. Who is it?" he mocked. The orange door wiped his non-existent eyes.

"I know! You're trying to be that Robin girl! She's cute isn't she?" the door cheered.

"Hmp. Dunno, I don't look at other girls. I have one of my own." Link smiled and closed his eyes.

"Well aren't you a ladies man!?" the green door was jealous.

"LADY man. Singular. But yes, yes I am." said the arrogant hero.

"Easy there buddy. I can still read your mind. Thinking about doing those kinds of things with your girlfriend aren't age appropriate. I don't want to see that crap! Jeez, it's like looking at two flip-flops inside of each other covered in cream cheese. Now if they were DOORS, then it'd be better. You still suck." Orangy mocked.

"Get out of my head!" Link said, thinking about a giant hand holding up the middle finger. Both doors grunted.

"You know what? Forget that! Choose one of us already! The Walking Door is about to start and I don't want to miss this next episode!" said greenie.

"Alright alright! I choose the orange one!" Link sighed and went to grab the handle. But it moved away.

"No! You can't go through! Not while you still think I'm nothing but garbage!" the door fussed.

"It's 'cause you ARE garbage…" The green door smirked.

"Shut up! I hate you! Go away!" Link sighed again and walked towards the other door. It too drew backwards.

"Nuh-uh brothuh. Only the ladies can touch such a beautiful handle. Back up sissy." Link backed up like a sissy.

"How am I supposed to get past if both of you are being dramatic?" he folded his arms.

"I don't care. Lay off the handle buster." greenie said.

"Just leave me alone!" orange screamed.

"You guys aren't making this easy. This place is-" the ground began to shake as Link also started to lose his balance. "Crumbling by the second! I need to get through!" he yelled.

"Tough luck pal!"

"You already blew it!"

Bayonetta fell beside Link and she sideways heel-stomped the green door to pieces. Green shards blew left and right as orange gasped and his friend was killed.

"H-he's dead. He's dead. I can't believe you killed him! You monsters! How could yo-wait...That means I'm free...I'm free! Yeah! Hahaha! Thank the heavens! Thank you kind warriors!" he cheered. But they were already gone. Bayonetta was holding Link's foot as she sprinted through the stairs and up the hallways and below the corridor. He was waving like a flag.

"Bayonetta! Slow down! I can't feel my anything!" but she was moving too fast to hear him.

"While you were playing with those pitiful doors, we've lost five minutes. Nice job little one. Now, hang on tight." she said and Link reached up and gripped her shoulders. She grabbed his legs as if giving a piggyback ride. Then she jumped high into the air and her gravity turned towards the left. She hit the ground, well actually, LINK hit the ground hard and was smashed under Bayonetta.

"Hmm. What a soft landing…" she smiled. The beacon was in front of them, 130 meters away. Bayonetta dropped Link, who was already breathing heavily from getting the breath knocked out of him. She held out a hand. "Come child, there's not much time left." Link was rubbing his back. He decided to take her hand this time instead of her taking his foot for not being responsive. She pulled him up and pointed to the beacon. "Let's go. We still have more than a minute." She began running, making Link trip behind her. He wasn't ready for that. But he ran after her, glancing at the timer along the way. They had one 1:26 seconds left and foolishly, he allowed himself to become relieved. A third of the way there, a giant wall rose from the ground, both in front and behind them, Bayonetta having to grab Link's collar to keep him from speeding into the wall and breaking his nose (which feels familiar…). The voice wasted no time in making his appearance.

"Okay, you know what? This is way too easy. So now fight enemies!" a bunch of of zombies appeared from the ground. Link walked right past them, up the wall, and around the obstacle. Bayonetta followed after him. But after a couple of paces, another wall appeared, this time, with a ceiling.

"Okay smart guy. But there's no escaping this one." the voice growled and more zombies appeared. Link walked on the wall yet again, except this time, going to the right and avoiding another obstacle. Bayo simply followed behind. They were running out of time. But even after a couple more paces, the two were wrapped into a cube with no apparent openings.

"Alright! That's it! Now you can't get out until you beat the enemies! And since you didn't appreciate zombies, how about cannons!?" the voice shouted and cannons appeared from the ground. Bayonetta prepared herself for combat.

"Hold up Bayo. I got this. We're so close that I can see the beacon's light shining bright through the wall." Link waved and she reclined against the wall. Link walked onto the wall and every single of the five cannons aimed at him. He looked up (technically forward, but he was on the wall) and smiled for the camera. Not an actual camera, but he's just...yeah you get it.

The cannons blasted, sending balls of fury straight at Link who walked onto the ceiling as the cannon balls blew a large hole in the wall that Link simply walked through.

"Well done little one." Bayonetta smiled. Not because it rhymed or anything, but just because...Link ran towards the beacon, literally inches away from his face as he was blasted away from the cannons and flew off of the ground. He did a triple spin around, gravity shifting like gravity has never shifted before, and landed right on top of the beacon with only 12 seconds left. The timer stopped and victory music played.

"Good job! You made it in time!" a child-like voice sang and Link opened his eyes, trying to shake off the pain. Confetti blasted in his face, sending a piece of paper mache into his eyeball.

"Argh! What the hell!?" he screamed and wiped his eye vigorously. As soon as he opened them, he was embraced by the beautiful glory of the bonus room. "You know, that was pretty easy." he thought aloud as Bayonetta scooped him up and tossed him through the door.

* * *

"Man, was that easy or what? Or rather, they made it look easy." Shulk asked Bowser who refused to talk to him. "Fine, be like that. Look Bowser, I know that there's a lot of tension between the two of us, but since we've managed to get in a team, we're going to have to cooperate for the time being. So what do you say? Want to bury the axe until one of us wins this? Then put er there!" he stuck out his hand. King Koopa smiled deviously and grabbed his hand, nearly grinding his bones with his strength. Shulk yelped and yanked his hand away. "Ow! Jeez! Not so rough!" Shulk screamed and Death smirked.

"That's what she said."

"That's what you wish you could say."

"That's what you wish someone would say to you." They were at a stalemate.

"Okay 'Death', we'll call this a draw."

"Why did you put infasis on 'Death'?"

"Because the nickname doesn't fit you is why. At least, not your personality." Shulk protested. She rolled her eyes.

"Well then, you got one better? Awesome and feminine at the same time? If so, hit me with it." she put her hands on her hips and tilted her head slightly sideways.

"What about Reflect?"

"Does this sound like a raunchy fanfiction or something? Sorry, but that's some straight up fan-made shit. I'm-a go ahead and reflect that one right back to you." she shook her head. Her beautiful beautiful head. ( **It sucks to have crushes on fictional characters.** )

"Rose?"

"And give Sonic PTSD? I think Amy's around him enough. Just like Tuxedo Mask, I'm throwing that back." ( **Get it? Rose?** )

"Red?"

"That'd be an insult since he's not here right now. And they didn't even call him red. Merely 'Pokemon Trainer'. How rude. Always wanted to meet him. Speaking of which, I'll be right back. Think up some more names though." She called off as she turned around and bumped into Donkey Kong. He turned around. Donkey Kong can't speak English. Only a few words. And thanks to that, he doesn't have a translator either. "Oh, sorry about that DK." she waved.

"Okay!" he shouted a bit too loud and went back to doing whatever he was doing. Death walked over to Snake who was bench-pressing the gigantic coin. He knew someone was there, but didn't acknowledge their presence.

"Uh, hey. Snake is it?" he threw the coin down and stood up.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

"Um no. We haven't gotten to meet yet. My name is Robin, but at the moment, my nickname is Death. Nice to meet you." she curtsied, grabbing her robe to do so.

"Huh. Well aren't you cute as a button? Pleased to make your acquaintance. Is there something you needed?" he asked her. Snake seemed stern, but he's just PUMPED from lifting nickel.

"Oh yeah. Well, where's Red?"

"Red...oh, him. Well he's in the hospital. He's in a coma. Been there for 9 months." Death lifted her hands to her mouth. Although she had never met the boy, she always dreamed of meeting someone who lived in the Pokemon Universe that she could actually talk to. Not with a mind-wrecking translator voice.

"Oh goddesses. What happened?" Snake sighed and leaned against the back of the chair.

"He got hit by a car. A black 2014 GMC Sierra 1500. Had a concussion, broken hip, fractured rib cage, and much more. We're lucky for him to even be alive." He shook his head.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You couldn't have known."

"Let's just wish for the best. Not much you can do. Hopefully I'll one day get to meet him." she smiled sheepishly. "It was good to meet you Snake." she waved as he saw her off. In seconds he was bench pressing coin again. Bayonetta walked off the blue pad triumphantly. Link just looked tired. The Staffman (who was actually playing computer games instead of doing work) jumped up and rubbed his hands together.

"Good news everyone!" somebody smiled. "I have a surprise for all of you!" he shouted. Everyone looked at him deadfaced. A surprise couldn't be anything good.

"Is it food?" Dedede asked.

"You mustn't always have your mind on food Dedede. But it's even better than that." people began to get scared. Even those who you thought might not.

"Oh lord. Please tell me it's not more team changes." Rosalina sighed.

"Nope."

"How about financial problems?" Robin chewed his fingernails.

"Try again."

"NO MORE EXPLOSIONS?" R.O.B.'s translator asked.

"Don't even think about it. The surprise is...you've been good long enough that you don't have to stay on the green chair! Take it away Crazy!" he grinned as Crazy snapped his gigantic fingers and the hair disappeared, leaving the smashers floating in the air. Until they realised that this wasn't a cartoon and began to tumble to the ground. Crazy softened their fall, but not by much.

"Gah!"

"I'm falling!"

"AIR COMING UP WILL DOWNROAR!"

"This isn't so bad." Peach said while floating with her umbrella.

"All that work to get on this chair and then…"

"Well isn't this pleasant?"

"I'm really starting to hate this guy."

"This 'show' is getting more ridiculous by the second."

They screamed as they hit the ground. There were bodies hitting the floor everywhere.

"Crazy, I'd prefer if you wouldn't be so chaotic. Someone could have gotten hurt." Sure enough, someone did. Toon Link waddled over with his head down and hands below his face.

"Uh, Sthaffman?"

"Is something the matter Toon Link?"

"My toof bwoke." he looked up, showing his mouth. Is front tooth was in his hands and his other front tooth was chipped. He had blood dripping down his chin into his hands. The staffman winced and Toon Link smiled.

"Ith it bad?" he asked and the staffman shook his head vigorously.

"Uh, let's get you to the doctor's office…" he said and took him by the hand. "You all know what to do by now! Continue the show!" he called behind him as he disappeared through a door on the far side of the room. Crazy turned towards the rest of the smashers. He pointed a gigantic finger at Link, who was twitching on the ground.

"Alright Linkle, get up and push the button." he said and Link looked up at him.

"What the hell do you think I'm trying to do!? Crap ain't as easy as you're trying to make it!" Crazy electrocuted the daylights out of Link.

"Rule number 1! Do as you are told! Rule number 2! Profanity is strictly prohibited! Now, let's try this again!" he cheerfully pointed at the button. Link was face down on the concrete. But slowly he rose to the ground while mumbling some very profane things about the giant hand as he made his way to the button. The screen ever-so-patiently floated in the air for him. And then the teams spun. I'm pretty sure you knows what happens now, but let's still go through the process. Link looked forward at the team spinning screen, knowing that it was on him to press the button and to stop the teams. But no one could understand the overwhelming responsibility of pushing quite as well as Link. Whatever team he stops it on will receive the next challenge which could result in multiple outcomes. It could be something that one team may specialize in and could give them the necessary items to defeat him and his teammate, resulting in his failure while it could also lead to a team who gets little to no items and could very well end against their favor. And this all resulted in when he decided to stop the teams. He knew very well that this determined the game, that it determined whether he may win or lose. The entire outcome of the game relied on this one action. And that's is the burden that Link carries on his back as he now knows that if he would end up pushing the button and giving the better team this opportunity, it would all end in tears. So how? How can he simply belittle such an overwhelming moment that takes place during the competition that he wants to win so? He can't. Such a little task with such extreme potential to determine the future. So, without allowing himself to be overcome by such a responsibility, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and listened to his heart…

"You gonna hit it yet!?" Falco shouted behind him, shaking him from his train of thought. And then everything was lost.

"Dang it Falco! I was thinking hard and now you ruined it! Now I have to start over!" he stomped his foot. Falco and some others laughed.

"And just what were you thinking about that was so important that it's taking so long?"

"Fine! I'll tell you! From first person perspective!. From the beginning! *ahem* I looked forward at the team spinning screen, knowing that it was on me to press the button and to stop the teams. But no one could understand the overwhelming responsibility of pushing quite as well as I. Whatever team I stop it on will receive the next challenge which could result in multiple outcomes. It could be something that one team may specialize in and could give them the necessary items to defeat me and my teammate, resulting in our failure while it could also lead to a team who gets little to no items and could very well end against their favor. And this all results in when I decide to stop the teams. I know very well that this will determine the game, that it determines whether I may win or lose. The entire outcome of the game relies on this one action. And that is the burden that I, Link, carries on his back as he now knows that if he would end up pushing the button and giving the better team this opportunity, it would all end in tears. So how? How can I simply belittle such an overwhelming moment that takes place during the competition that I want to win so? I can't. We can't. Such a little task with such extreme potential to determine the future. So, without allowing myself to be overcome by such a responsibility, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and listened to the sound of my heart…"

There was silence as Link reached for the random button…

"What the fuck are you talking about!?" Pittoo yelled as he was shocked to no end by Crazy. Link turned around quickly and angrily.

"See! You just did it again! I completely forgot what I was thinking about now!" Bayonetta jumped from the ground and stomped on the button. The teams came to an abrupt stop, ending on team ' _Lightning Speed_ '. Crazy smiled (well, physically, he can't. But he tried).

"Welp, you bros know what that means! Sonic and Pikachu, hurry and step on the blue pad! C'mon c'mon c'mon!"

* * *

Sonic had mixed feelings about being in this challenge. On one side, he was happy to try something that he'd wanted to for a while, another side pissed that Link got what he wanted, or at least had a point about what he was talking about. And on the last side, completely and utterly frightened at what he was about to go through.

And here comes the voice. "Come one come all! Step right up for a trip around the ocean! I hope you two can swim because this is going to be quite an experience. So step right up for 'The Voice's downhill roar! Have fun on the water rides!" he cheerfully announce. Sonic and Pikachu looked to be at some kind of ridiculous amusement park and were standing at a 'YOU MUST BE THIS TALL' sign. Neither one of them were tall enough.

"Well Pikachu, that sure is a bummer. Looks like we'll have to come back another year. Heh heh…" He nervously chuckled and began walking in the other direction. Pikachu looked back and forth as (he/she? People get very picky about these things and 'it' doesn't fit the role. I'll flip a coin. Heads - female and Tails - male. Let's do this...Tails. Looks like tails never fails.) he was confused on what to do.

"I SAID STEP RIGHT UP!" A strong wind blew Sonic back to the entrance. A large arrow fell from sky, pointing in the direction of the attraction.

"Okay okay! Hold your horses! Sheesh!" the hedgehog fussed. Him and Pikachu advanced through the weird tunnels and things that's usually at amusement parks. Up stairs, around loops, on the ceiling, around the pond, and all sorts of strange places. Until they reach the end of the stairs. After climbing the stairs and walking through a portal, the two had reached the top and that's where Sonic's heart started beating fast. They were over the clouds, but that's not what got him worked up. It was that the only way down was by log flume down a waterfall higher than . Seriously.

"Okay, I'm pretty sure you two are excited about this challenge, but I was joking at the beginning. You might not be swimming. Okay, your challenge this time is to get in the log and ride it down and through the water. Sounds fun huh? Well you'll also be steering out of the way of obstacles. Don't get hit or the boat might tip over! And then you'll have to deal with the sharks. But I'm sure you'll have fun! Any questions?" Sonic held up his hand. "Ah yes? The blue mutant thing?"

"Hey! I'm a hedgehog! You're nothing but a weird voice that's probably not even real, but you're represented by a stupid radio." Sonic shrugged.

"That wasn't a question. Alright, into the log you go! Don't forget your death-preventing belts!" The radio combusted and the two were face to face at the log.

"AFTER YOU." the translator on Pikachu nudged. Sonic stepped into the log. He sat down at the very back. "NOPE. SCOOT UP." Pikachu smiled. Sonic looked back at him.

"Like hell I will! I'm not sitting in the front! Rock paper scissors!" Pikachu creamed him at rock paper scissors. "T-that was unfair! How about guessing a number one through ten?" Pikachu guessed his number right four times.

"NO MORE STALLING." he laughed evilly. Sonic sighed and scooted up. Pikachu got into the back and struggled with the strap since it was in shreds.

"So much for safety,-" the log shot down the river. "Beeeeeeeeeeeelts!" The two were thrown left and right while rocks fell from the sky. They bumped into boulders and spun around in circles.

"I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING." Pikachu's translator shouted as the log bounced as if it was on a trampoline.

"Pikachu, heads up! There's a truck flying right at us!" Sonic yelled. Then he got an idea. "Pikachu! Use Iron Tail!"

"PIKAPI!" Pikachu's voice grew incredibly deep and he jumped into the air to confront the truck. After the various battles around the world and in smash, this little guy was much stronger than you would think. He flexed and then six pack abs formed and space-ripping muscles appeared. He spun and smacked the truck and split it in two. The high level pokemon landed onto the log, tipping it tremendously. He shrunk back to normal.

"DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN." the translator spoke roughly. Sonic stared at him wide eyed.

"Uh, sure. Okay. Whoa, heads up! Rock 11:00!" he moved over to the left and the large rock flew landed next to them. Water and moss and mud flew everywhere.

"GROSS. IT GOT IN MY MOUTH." Pikachu rubbed his tongue. And a radio fell into the log-boat.

"Okay, you guys are making this look too easy! Which is not a good thing by the way. So now you have to kill aliens!" it disappeared and slots opened up in the sides of the boat-log. Two fully loaded MP5 submachine guns fell onto their laps. UFO's and horrifying black creatures with long heads.

"Are you serious?" Sonic looked at the weapon. This was some Shadow kind of shit, not his mojo. Pikachu was having a hard time holding it, let alone using it. A small alien began to draw near, seemingly flying through the air.

"Oh crap, shoot em'!" Sonic started firing, making himself shake like a jackhammer. He had a very hard time controlling it, but first, he really needed to cover his ears. That thing was LOUD. He dropped it and held his aching ears. He hadn't noticed the earbuds sitting lonely in the still-open-compartment. Quickly, he put them in and looked up. There was an entire fleet of aliens coming right for them. And Pikachu couldn't shoot. Sonic held up the gun. The slots closed then reopened to show some more stuff. Sonic geared up and faced the aliens. War cigar in his mouth, camo helmet on and ammo strings hanging from his neck.

"Awright you horrid peracetic acid spitting abominations! I'd like to introduce you to the one and only Mr.5 who's ready to pop one in every single one of yo' black alien asses! So let's do this!" he shouted in a raspy colonel voice from some random non-existent movie. He snatched Pikachu's gun and started firing all hell. He shot a UFO that crashed into several others, causing massive explosions everywhere and sending flaming pieces of metal flying at them. "Left!" Sonic called and the two rocked the boat to the left. Debris flew everywhere. Aliens dove into the water, one of them landing onto the front part of the log. It picked up Sonic and opened it's slimy jaws. Green acid bubbled in it's throat.

"You won't take me today you greasy bastard!" He stuffed the gun in it's mouth and blew bullets through the back of it's neck. It fell over as alien blood splashed into the water. He landed onto the log when a gigantic rock flew and crashed right into the boat-log. It flew way up high and then the two were airborne. Sonic was launched straight through the fleet and smashed into the bottom of a UFO, pushing his head through. He struggled and kicked, but to no avail. The UFO started smoking and flames spewed out the top. It crashed into some others and Sonic was taken down to the Earth in the smoking aircraft. Pikachu was free falling down the waterfall. The pokemon spun like a bullet, but the weirdest part about it was that Pikachu was having fun. Although the two may or may not have been enjoying it, they were still flying over the rest of the ride and to the ground. And debris was still flying their way.

* * *

"You know what? That actually looks pretty fun." Corrin smiled. Samus scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Well, isn't water your thing?"

"I guess you could say that. But despite that, it still looks pretty fun. I can't be the only one who thinks so." he said, but when no one responded, he repeated himself. "I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO."

"Nah bro. I'd have to disagree. That looks downright terrifying. I couldn't imagine doing it myself." Kamui shook her head.

"Oh come on guys. It can't be that bad." he protested, ignoring the screams of Sonic and Pikachu behind him.

"Is that so? Because I'm pretty sure we could put you to the test." Ike yawned. Corrin jumped onto his feet and flexed playfully. "I can take down anything you throw at me! I'm much tougher than you think!"

"I'm not saying you aren't tough Corrin. Trust me on that. But I don't think you'd be so confident in the same position." Ike yawned and Corrin flexed even more.

"And I think you're giving Sonic and Pikachu a little too much credit. I understand what you're saying, but I still think that I could pull it off."

"Then we'll put you to the test. After I win, that is." Samus smirked. Everybody snickered.

"Samus, you're definitely the least likely to win. Even Mii Brawler has a better chance than that. You don't have what it takes." Ike stared at her. Sho looked at him as if he was joking.

"Really? Mii Brawler has what it takes and I don't? Please." Suddenly, someone was right next to them with super speed.

"YOU SUMMON BRAWLER MAN MII!? NEED ICING SOMETHING YOU!?" Mii Brawler asked.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Ike jumped slightly.

"I didn't understand a word you said." Samus sighed.

"MEGA MAN MII EVERYONE PLAYER 4!"

"Did you guys just call me?" Mega Man walked over. Corrin shook his head vigorously.

"Nope. You didn't hear anything."

"Quick! Shut him up before he calls Villager and Villie-" Kamui slapped her hands on her mouth as she noticed the two staring at her with eager eyes. They were over in an instant.

"Great! Look what you've done! Oh no, get the hell off of me!" Ike yelped as Villager jumped onto his head.

"I FIGHT WANT TO VILLIE!" Mii Brawler mocked Villie. She and Villager looked at him with terrifying grins. One of them threw a certain radio at him. It sailed over his head and smacked an unaware victim right in the face. It was not pretty.

"Alright, tell me who threw it and only one of you gets hurt." Bayonetta cracked her knuckles. Ike took one look at her then pointed at Villager. But Mii Brawler was pointing at Villie. And they were both pointing at Samus.

"Come on. Really? Of all people, you think I did it? Seriously?" Samus facepalmed when Bayonetta turned to her. She remained stern. She thought that she might have a chance against Bayo if she had to. As if on cue, the Staffman walked in between the gang.

"Alright everyone, that seems like plenty. Mii Brawler, I'd prefer if you didn't cause anymore trouble. I ask that you and this group separate for a bit. Bayonetta," he stopped and looked up at her. "That's enough for now. I'll take it from here. Return to your seat." He was strangely not intimidated. Bayonetta huffed and turned away.

"Very well. Do as you wish." she walked away. Two certain individuals were snickering about behind him, A purple aura formed around him as his fists clenched.

"And as for you two…" He swung around so fast that some objects fell to the ground. "I don't know how many times I'll have to get on you, but the both of you have been a particular thorn in my side today. Come with me, Villager and Villie. I'll be sure to take any and all measures that you two will learn your lessons. Now, let's go." He began walking off. The two looked at each other and shrugged, following the Staffman with annoyed expressions. "As you were smashers. As you were." Speaking of as you were, the camera's zoomed into the screen of challenge Or whatever you would call it.

* * *

Sonic and Pikachu felt like they were falling endlessly. The aliens seemed to have disappeared and so did Sonic's gear, making him himself again. They'd been falling long enough for Sonic and Pikachu to lean back and wait for something to happen. They couldn't even see the ground and Pikachu started to wonder if they were in the land of Super Monkey Ball since they were falling endlessly.

"Got any idea until land? I'm pretty sick of this air stuff. Flying ain't ever really been my thing."

"NO IDEA. MAYBE WE'LL END UP GETTING TRANSPORTED SOMEWHERE BY THE VOICE." Pikachu told him.

"I dunno buddy. I wonder where we are after going through that portal. My guess is not even on Earth anymore. It's not even hard to breathe or talk while falling. Even though the wind is blowing against us, I'm not sure we're even falling anymore."

"WHERE ARE WE?" The two sat quietly for about two minutes. Slowly, a large shadowy figure emerged from the grey fogginess below, but not a person or even a creature. An airship. But what was it doing out here? And why was it so still? Sonic was just happy to finally know that he's made some progress. They fell into the airship, into a large net that stopped their momentum and allowed them to safely get out. Pikachu and Sonic crawled out of the net and stepped into a hatch at the very bottom of the airship. They inside was pitch black. All of a sudden, the lights snapped on. They were surrounded by all sorts of colorful things. There was a sign that said 'CONGRATULATIONS,' with the usual 'B'-word next to it.

"Huh. Looks like we made it."

"NO! You didn't make it! You failed miserably! So welcome to round two!" The voice screamed. "You two idiots couldn't survive the Waterfall Log Trip, so now you have to do something else…" Two large doors of gold appeared before them. "Get to the bonus room!" Sonic nearly burst out laughing.

"It's right there. C'mon Pikachu. We've got this. So much for ' Round two'." he shrugged. Hatches in the top of the ceiling opened up and water started pouring in. Sonic ran back so fast that skid marks were left on the floor.

"Yes! You must make it to the bonus room in this nine-foot high water! Not only that, you get fifteen seconds! Or this bomb will blow this aircraft out of the sky. Have fun! Good luck! You'll need it…" And it was gone. Pikachu saw the skull timer appear.

"WE HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!" he shouted. He looked around, but Sonic was nowhere to be found. Something blue was sinking under the water. Pikachu dove under to find Sonic flailing and kicking with all his strength, but to now avail. The pokemon swam to another hatch on the floor. He struggled to open it, having no actual fingers, which made the job much harder. The clock ticked down to 8 and he finally got the hatch open, draining all the water out and the two smashers as they once again began to fall towards the earth.

"Gaaaaaaah!" Sonic coughed and spat water as he was swept out of the bottom entrance. Him and Pikachu were thrown around like ragdolls as they caught one glimpse of the strange airship exploding, sending flames, smoke, and destroyed objects everywhere. But something shiny was flying their way. The bonus room was flying away!

"Pikachu! Grab on!" the pokemon looked at him weirdly. "Just do it!" Pikachu grabbed onto Sonic as they both started spinning in a ball. They spun around at Sonic speed, making a tornado that sucked up everything, including the bonus room. The doors flew towards them, flailing open and closed quickly. They shot to the door and the door shot to them. The team flew into the bonus room without a trace. Not to mention that they just created a tornado that will unleash all fury on the world, but they made it, so whatever.

* * *

"I swear, these teams seem like they were meant for each other. Some of them are too synced…" Falco muttered to himself.

"Not to mention team Chrom's Lovebirds. Literal perfection." Falcon also muttered.

"Tell me about it. This flipping randomizer crap isn't very random if you ask me. Everybody who's been in teams so far have been common if you ask me."

"No one's gonna ask you." Fox shrugged.

"Piss off Fox! Bastard!"

"Falco, only like, two of the teams so far have been common."

"Name one that wasn't common." he demanded.

"Team Clown Star."

"A different one!"

"Team Rolling Freedom."

"Another one!" Falco barked.

"Team Peachy Flight."

"Hey screw you Falcon. We haven't even gone yet!" Falco pouted.

"It doesn't matter. You two barely even interact with each other. I don't even know if you guys know anything about each other." Falcon took a bite out of an apple (to make him look like an asshole).

"Dude, it's a team, not a fucking blind date. Damn. What do you know about Fox huh? Y-you didn't even think about your own partner, so how can I think about mine?"

"I know about Fox. I know Fox. Almost everything, or at least, everything that I should know and a little more." he said.

"Oh really? Give me three facts about him."

"Oh would you look at that. Pikachu and Sonic are out." Captain Falcon turned away as the two smashers walked off the blue pad. Pikachu looked tired, but Sonic looked fine.

"Don't change the subject Falcon!" Falco said. The Staffman got up from the computer (he was actually playing Dragon Age Origins and not doing paperwork. He would deny it.) and strolled over to everyone who were sitting comfortably in their own respective chairs.

"Okay everyone. Due to your shenanigans at the beginning of the round, we might not be able to squeeze in the last team. May or may not. So don't get your hopes up on two teams left. It depends on how long this next challenge is. Other than that, let us continue. Pikachu, come push the ra-" Pikachu was knocked out. Sleep like no other. "Okay, Sonic. Come push the random button." he said. Sonic ran up to the button and pushed it faster than anyone else, making him a dick. The teams didn't even get to really spin, so it more of just, moved up a little bit. They stopped on team ' _Radiant Blades_ '. Somebody booed Sonic off the stage.

"Well everyone. You know what that means. I-"

"Ike and Toon Link! Team of injury! Busted tooth and busted nut! Let's go busted tut!" Crazy shouted out loud, making some of the smashers giggle.

"Crazy, don't interrupt me. *ahem* Ike, you are up next. Excuse me while I go get Toon Link." he walked off to the doctor's office and Crazy slowly turned towards everyone. He twitched unusually.

"Uh...Crazy? Are you feeling alright?" Rosalina asked. Everyone else began to back away. Crazy twitched even more. Luckily for them, the staffman was already back with Toon Link. Toon Link's mouth looked all weird and stuff. Who knows what kind of crap Dr. Mario was doing. But don't worry, he's a doctor. And a dentist. The Staffman looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Ike? Are you coming?" Ike was daydreaming. Corrin nudged him and he was back.

"Huh? Y-yeah. I'm comin'." He said and made his way over to the blue pad. Crazy was no longer twitching, but fidgeting. In a spinny kind of way. ( **kill me** ) The Staffman began to stop and stare at him.

"Crazy, I know what you're thinking, but don't do it." Crazy began chuckling. "Crazy. Don't do it." Crazy put his fingers together, as if he would snap. "DO NOT CRAZY. You've been good so far. I'm warning you." Crazy was still for a moment. But, he stopped whatever he was going to do, just so he could do it later. "Good. I'm glad you came to your senses. Now, Ike, Toon Link, let's get this show on the road." The two were warped out of existence. Everyone was oddly silent.

"Well that was weird." Dark Pit said. And for once, someone actually agreed.

* * *

"Let's boogie!" The voice shouted and a 1980's disco ball lowered itself from the ceiling. Colorful lights shone all around the place as several anonymous people danced like it was the 80's. Ike and Toon Link looked around peculiarly at everyone. The 80's was WAY before their times. A giant rusty red speaker appeared.

"Let me guess, we're going to be dancing?" Ike asked. The voice scoffed.

"What gave you the first clue? Hell yeah we're going to be dancing! Get that booty shakin'!" a taser shocked both Ike and Toon Link.

"Ah! Ow! You haven't even explained the rules yet! That's not fair!" Toon Link pointed his finger at the speaker.

"Listen here boyo, you should already know that shit ain't gonna be fair from now on. Just think, this is only the first round! Holy crap! Looks like this will be the longest round, round one. The the others will be shorter I bet. Like super short. Like, one chapter each short. Oh well."

"Will you stop breaking the fourth wall and just get on with the rules?" Toon Link interrupted. The voice grunted.

"I would, but you two aren't DANCING!" they were shocked again. Toon Link started doing some 'modern dancing'. "What the hell is that? You got to dance like it's back in the day!" Toon Link pulled out the oldest dance that he knew. He began playing an air guitar. Now Ike, who was much older than Toon had his arms folded. He was 22, but he still didn't exactly know some 'old' dances. Besides, he was a horrible dancer. But nobody except for Death knew that.

"Hey! That means you too Chloe! Get moving!" Ike shook his head back and forth.

"No! I hate dancing." he said. The voice doesn't ever take 'no' as an answer. So Ike and Toon Link were both shocked again. Ike began to tap his foot. But he wasn't happy about it. ( **Imagine Toon Link and Ike both dancing for this entire team part. Go ahead, get silly.** )

"Alright, your challenge is to navigate yourself out of this maze of people! Get to the exit! No time limit! Certain people will have you completing task for them to get by. I suggest you stay together, but it's easy to get washed away in the crowd. And also, I can see that you two have your weapons. Those aren't allowed in this challenge. Give them here. You can have them back later...maybe." both of Ike's and Toon Link's weapons disappeared. They should have left them all outside like most everyone else. "When you two get too lost or can't continue, the challenge will end. So don't lose you morons. Now let's get started!" The speaker exploded and Ike and Toon Link looked at each other.

"Do we really have to do this?"

"Yes Ike. Come on. Just think about the power. The fortune. We'd be the best!" Toon Link smiled ( **from now on, I'm going to refer to Toon Link as Toon. Thanks.** ) Ike smiled back. He promised himself that if he were to win, he would share it all with Toon. But for now, they had work to do. Then the speaker de-exploded.

"I almost forgot. You have to keep dancing. If you don't, I'll keep shocking you. You'll end up like that...uh...damn it, I always forget her name...Lucy...Lucina! Yeah! You'll end up like that Lucina girl. Anyways, get going!" it un-de-exploded. Haha! Unde. Undies. Ike and Toon began to try to navigate through the crowd. Toon, being a bit on the shorter side, standing at 5 foot 1, was nudging people out of the way. He ended up pushing a lady to the side by putting his hand on her butt, which she wasn't too happy about it. She swung around and spoke in a very broad and tamed voice.

"SCOUNDRELS!" she yelped and pulled out a red can.

"Look mam, I apologize, that was an accide-" she sprayed Ike in the eyes with Pepper Spray. "Augh! What the hell lady!? Gah, I can't see!" Toon tugged on his leg.

"Ike, you're not dancing!" Ike began tapping his foot again. His eyes were bloodshot red and were really wet. Eyeball juice and stuff dripped from his eyes.

"Ah, my damn eyes...I can't see…" Toon Link grabbed Ike's hand and guided him through the crowd. A guy with a cigar in his mouth approached them.

"Hey fella. You got a light?"

"Excuse me guy, but could you ask someone else? Smoking isn't good for you anyway." Toon told him. The man bent down to the young hero's height.

"Listen kid. How about you leave me to my life and you stay in sch-"

"Moving on!" Toon Link rushed off. If Zelda were to hear about school, then she would start teaching him again. And trust me, learning about the inside of a Moblin in science is nothing pretty. Ike rubbed the gunk from his eyes as his vision started to come back to him.

"Hold up Toon. I can start to see again. But do you even know where we're going?"

"Nope!" he cheerily said and kept heading through the crowd.

"You know, something feels weird. I can't see any end to this place. It's like it's not real." he stammered. The two came upon two paths. One full of guys and one full of girls. Toon began to lead Ike towards the guy section, but Ike wasn't so sure. "Hold up Toon. Maybe we should go the other way. It could be...easier."

"Are you sure Ike? We're boys and-, well, I'm a boy and you're a man, so I thought we should go this way." he said curiously.

"Nah, we're expected to go that way, bes-"

"Ike, I get it. I know what this is about."

"Toon, what are you talking about?"

"Look, I just turned twelve and Zelda already gave me the talk about hormones and girls and stuff. I think yours might be out of order." Toon looked at Ike fiercely and slightly disappointed. Ike pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Toon, I don't know what's implying that, but I swear to you, that isn't close to what I was thinking. I just expected that they would hide the end where they think we wouldn't go. Also, I've already got my eye on someone. She knows who she is. But whatever you're talking about with hormones and stuff, that doesn't apply to this situation." Ike sighed. Toon examined him.

"Alright. If you say so. Lead the wa-" the two were electrocuted. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay, don't forget to dance too." Ike began shuffling through the women's side. Not like they were labeled or anything. Ike's groin passed by many soft butts, but like a true warrior, he remembered the Code of Chivalry and pressed forward. Several people began to look at Ike and Toon Link and how they were wiggling right through the girls. And I don't mean figuratively. That's how they were dancing. By wiggling through the crowd of women. Ike shook his head, knowing that this was, by far, the stupidest challenge ever. Suddenly, some guy with an afro, gold chains, sunglasses, and a purple headband stepped in front of them.

"Yo yo yo! Hold up! What is yall wearing? You can't be up in the club wearing rags like dat! Here, me and my guys will fix you two up, free of charge. What yall say? Can't be no." he smiled.

"No tha-"

"Sure!" Toon interrupted. A bunch of hands pulled them to the side and threw them back out in three seconds, fully decked out in sum kool clothez. T.L.D. had a lil' purple hoodie with some funky chainz hangin' from his neck. He had summa dem designer Nikez with black and white and to top dat dog off, a cool ass black and purple pimp hat with a white feather and the words ' _FRESH_ ' written in gold. Ike the real G had some hella funky clothes on as well. He had summa dem good Abercrombie and Fitch Shirts on with an open black leather jacket. He had B-lack leather pants, some rad ass black and red boots and a super pair of shades. A silver chain hung from his neck that read ' _GROOVY_ '. Dese rad dudes lookin' hella funky, about to get their groove on.

"Yeah! Now ya two looking real good! Now, bust out a dance move! Come on! I'll even get ya some room!" He started shouting at everyone to back up. Soon, there was spotlights and a huge spot for them to dance, and several people ready for them to go. Ike and Toon had people behind them and all around, quiet, ready for them to start. The weird afro guy from earlier called them out.

"C'mon little dudes! Bust some moves fo us! Make em rad!" Ike looked around and cussed under his breath. Toon Link was also pretty nervous, but tried his best to look older. Since they weren't dancing, they were shocked again and for a bit longer this time. Toon ended up moving like the robot. Ironically. "Hey, it's the robot! Groovy little dude! What about you Chloe? What'cha got?" he shouted.

"Why the hell does everyone keep calling me that?" he mumbled. Ike stood there fiddling his fingers. A young woman with dyed grey hair walked up to him. She was a bit shorter than him, but not by too much. Her hair was curly. She walked up behind him and whispered to him.

"You're not from here are you? Do you know what The Running Man is?" he shook his head 'no'. Her tone was somewhat seductive. "The people here eat it up. Try that. Here." Quickly, she pulled out space age technology and began to show him what the dance was. "I'm not from around here either. I wouldn't be helping you if you weren't so damn hot. Taken?" Ike shook his head and focused on the video. The crowd was getting impatient.

"You gonna do sumthin or stare at that toy all day?" the weird guy asked. _Okay Ike, you can do this. You've defeated armies, you can pull off an 80s dance._ He thought. Ike took a deep breath and started doing the running man dance. Everybody went wild. Even though it was 1989, people still liked that crap.

"More!" They cheered. The lady asked Toon Link about The Worm. He remembered that. He tried performing it, but it was more like the flop. People still loved it lady went through the cycle several times. Going through things like the MC Hammer dance and the Cabbage Patch. Eventually, the crowd lifted them up and carried them to glory. As in the end. They set them off and began dancing again. The EXIT sign was right there, but the lady from before, who sprayed Ike ( **haha...sprayed Ike** ) in the face, was there. She was turned around talking to someone else, blocking the way.

"Shit." Ike smacked his forehead. He approached the two ladies and tapped on the other one's shoulder. "Pardon me mam, but we need to get through here." Ike asked. The lady swung around and put her hands on her hips, reminding Ike of someone.

"This is the sicko I was just talking about! Grabbed my rump! You're disgusting!" She barked. The other girl shook her head.

"Mmhmm. Can't trust men these days." Before they could say anything else, he heard a familiar voice call out.

"Hey, hot stuff, over here." The lady waved. Her flowing hair trailed behind a crowd. Ike followed.

"Toon, stay here. I'll be back."

"But Ike-"

"No buts. Stay here. I'll be back." he followed after her around the corner as Toon watched with sad eyes. He turned around and was shocked. He almost forgot; keep wiggling.

As Ike turned the corner, the lady wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on his cheek.

"C'mon sugar, slow dance with me."

"O-okay." he wrapped his hands around her waist and they began slow dancing to the new music. "So, what's the plan for getting past those girls?"

"Oh, you trying to leave? Why don't you just ask them to scooch over?" she stared into his eyes.

"Well, I did, but that lady over there. I uh...well, my little buddy Toon pushed her over by her butt and she thought I did that. She sprayed me with pepper spray. Now she and her friend won't move."

"Oh, I can get you out of here easily. But first, tell me, what's that strange mark on your head band?" she pointed to the smash logo.

"Oh, you must mean the smash logo. Everybody from where I'm from has some kind of logo of it. It's nothing important." she pulled him along.

"C'mon hunky dory."

* * *

"Okay, real quick. I used to live in the 80s, then I ended up moving to this weird place, but let me ask something. Where the hell are they? I don't remember stuff like this going on. What kind of challenge is this?' Little Mac asked. For whatever reason he decided to ask Dedede was beyond him. But Dedede was dozing off, so he moved on to talk to someone else. "Hi Pac-Man. Hi Mega Man. Hey Cloud. What's up Yoshi?" Everybody he said hi to replied.

"Hey Death." She had her arms folded, her face was red, and she was turned around. He tiptoed over to Shulk. "What's up with her?" He whispered. She swung around with her fist balled up.

"What up with me? That girl! Who the hell does she think she is, kissing on him like that!? Nothing but an easy whor-"

"Yeah, she's not very happy about Ike's challenge. She doesn't like that young attractive lady either. She's pretty jealous." Shulk whispered to him.

"Fuck you motherfucker!" she yelled at him. The staffman looked at her.

"Robin, I'm pretty sure I've told you before to watch your language. Next time and I'll-"

"No!" she interrupted. "Screw this! What the hell!? I'm not watching this anymore." She got up and began walking over to the blue pad with her tome and book. "That bitch wants a piece of me, I'll wreck her shit. Teach her to mess with him!" Nana and Popo tried to hold her back, but she pushed them out of the way. Snake and Link both grabbed her arms and held her back. "Let me go! I'll wreck her shi-" Everyone's attention was on her now. "No one touches him! He's mine-err...my friend. Yeah, my friend. I won't let anyone mess with my friends!" her eyes shone death. If she were to meet that girl…

"Okay Robin, that's it. I'm taking you away until the end of the challenge. You obviously don't agree with the way this challenge is going and it is making you act in a way that may be dangerous to others." He walked over to a wall to reveal a secret door. He unlocked it and slid it open to find a white room with padded walls and padded floor. The guys drug her over and tossed her inside where she just sat and folded her arms. "I'll let you out when the challenge is finished." and with that, he closed the door and locked it. It was also sound proof, but they could see inside. She could hear them, but they couldn't hear her. With cameras of course. She could also watch the challenge inside if she chose to. "Okay everyone, please continue your activities. If you choose to talk instead of watch the challenge, be courteous to your fellow smashers." The stafman went back to sit down and work. ( **he was actually playing Brawlhalla instead of working. He would deny it.** )

* * *

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Ike questioned.

"Of course you hunk. This will definitely work. Alright, your little friend is over there wiggling. That should mean the coast is clear."

"Uh, actually, it means he's trying to-"

"Let's go!" she walked out and Ike followed close behind. She jumped in front of them and swung her hips. "Hey girls. Did you see the cool dancer over there? He seems really rad, wanna check it out?" she lured.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Ike walked over, holding his eyes and coughing. He spit on the floor.

"Ah, that jackass punched me in the eye...Augh, so bold." He was shocked and fell to the floor.

"See? I told ya. Let's go check it out! He's super awesome!" she said and the girls went dashing off in that direction. She signaled Ike and he got up. "I told you that'd work sugar! Nice! Here, I want you to keep this." She slid a piece of paper in his pocket. "Do call anytime." she smiled. Ike smiled back.

"Thanks. I appreciate all of your help. Really, this was amazing. I appreciate it. Is there anything I can do for you?" she grinned and looked at him enthusiastically.

"Well, there is one thing you big lug."

"What is it-" her lips met his for a brief second and then broke apart.

"Goodnight sugar!" and as suddenly as she showed up, she was gone. Toon Link was wiggling, but looking at Ike very angrily.

"Ike! You told me that you weren't gonna! You lied to me! How could you do that to her!?" he fumed.

"Toon Link, we've been over this. Also, who do you mean 'her'?" He scratched his head.

"How could you cheat on Death? Robi-" Ike's hand was over his mouth in milliseconds. Everyone could hear them after all.

"Toon Link! I'm not dating her. Don't say that. She kissed me, let's just go!" he was sweating a lot. If Roy and Marth heard that, then everything was over. Toon folded his arms and looked very angry.

"I'm disappointed in you Ike."

"Toon-"

"Ah! I don't want to hear it buster." the little warrior shoved him through the door. "The nerve of him. I hope she can forgive…" and he walked in after.

* * *

The smashers had all went and bought food and were saving it for one reason. They waited awhile. About two minutes.

"Hey Corrin?"

"Yeah Kamui?"

"When are they coming out?"

"I dunno sis. Their bonus room doesn't look all that hard. They should be here soon."

"Just a little bit longer?"

"You were always bad with waiting. Why don't you exorcise or something?" he said, focused on the plue bad-err, blue pad. So after three more minutes, the staffman unlocked Death from the room and she was nothing but upset. Her head was down and her arms folded. She walked out and over to a lone chair WAAAAAY in the back of the room. She sat down and pulled her knees to her chest and stayed like that. Some guys actually felt bad. Like Duck Hunt Dog. Yep he felt bad. Since he has emotions. Luigi felt bad. He was actually kinda ticked off. Ness was mad too.

Ike and Toon Link warped back on the blue pad.

"Hey guys. We're back." Ike yawned. Toon slowly tiptoed away.

"THERE HE IS! GET HIM!" Megaman shouted and threw a barrage of fruit. Ike drew his blade and cut them all to pieces.

"Hey Megaman, what the he-oh my goddesses." There was a million food items flying at him. In an instance, the staffman was in front of Ike with a giant (jousting) shield. He spun like a tornado and blocked everything thrown. Boots, chicken bones, half eaten donuts, watermelons, mud, onions, banana bread, everything. The shield was clad with gunk when the staffman threw it down. He was not happy one bit.

"I need clean up crew over here! Double time!" he shouted as men covered the area with cleaning supplies. He turned towards the smashers with angry eyes.

"All of you. That's your last warning. Also, Villie and Villager-" they were chained up to a wall. "You may come down now." He pushed a button and they were released. "Ike-"

"Hm?" he was still a bit shocked.

The staffman began to walk away. "Playing with one's emotions is a dangerous game. Go have a seat." Ike shrugged until he noticed someone quickly walking towards him. (Death is being called Robin again. She decided so.) Robin approached him with her hands behind her back and swaying.

"Oh, hey De-hurgh!" she smashed a coconut cream pie into his face and hair.

"Hmph!" she grunted and walked off. Ike just stood there dumbfounded.

"What did I do?" he mumbled and stumbled to his seat. Some people gave him mean looks as he passed by. He sat down right next to Samus and thought about his life.

"Feel bad now?" she asked him with a smile. Ike was confused and sad and irritated.

"Now is not the time to mock me." he said.

"It gets worse. Peach is heading over here. And she's fuming." she giggled.

"I should have just taken solitary confinement." he said as Villie and Villager jumped on him. Villager kept nudging him and Villie licked the coconut cream pie off his ears and face. Oh how she loved another's deserved grief and agony. The staffman looked up and told Toon Link to hit the random button. He walked over, somehow still in all of his 80s clothes and pushed the button. Team ' _Peachy Flight_ '.

"Oh, well look at that. Falco and Peach, you two are up. We barely have time to squeeze you in, so we need to get moving. Come on." Peach looked over at Ike. He knew she would be back.

"About time! Now, I want all of you future losers to watch and learn. Big time." Falco shouted.

"Whatever. Just hurry up so I can laugh at your failures." Pittoo grunted.

"Gonna do better than your dumb a-...moronic team."

"Oh yeah? Show me bird brain!" he yelled back. Falco walked onto the blue pad where a mad Peach already waited.

"Okay, initiating countdown." The staffman said.

"3."

"2."

"We don't have time for thi-"

"TRAGEDY." the pad whispered and they were warped out of existence. Meanwhile, the seemingly star-crossed friends aren't having such a good day. But Toon and Ike are pimped out, so who cares? That's not a question. If you care, I will find you and destroy y-transition!

* * *

Peach and Falco awoke back-to-back in a strange sparkly glittery room. There was a beat going on in the background as lights in the room changed colors to the beat. A rusty red radio sat in the corner. Falco shot it to bits before it could speak.

"Nice try chicken thigh! (and it rhymed.) I don't need the radio or speaker to talk. It just gives me character, something for you morons to think about! You'd never believe how I look. Anyways, your challenge sure is an interesting one. You have to get through an obstacle course, which is obvious, but you have to," he cleared his throat and sung the word, "sing!" Falco's jaw dropped.

"Hell no! I'm not singing! I can't sing!" he wasn't taking it very good. Oh yeah. . Ignore that.

"Too bad. You can quit now and fail your whole team. Weren't you supposed to be showing that idiot black angel?" the voice asked.

"H-how did you know that!?"

"Those two monkeys took a radio out of the challenge zone. I can hear you, but you can't hear me. I can also see. Man, that Robin girl sure wasn't happy huh? That was funny."

"I don't care at all! Screw their challenge, focus on mine!" he barked. Peach shyly peeked around him.

"Um, Falco, perhaps we should let him speak first. Or we'll never get out of here." she asked.

"Hmph." he folded his arms.

"I'm glad you know who the boss is. Now," he began singing again in his raspy horrid voice. "From now on, you'll be singing here on out. You have to sing about what's happening, the obstacles, and each other. Don't sing and you'll be electrocuted. You have twelve minutes. Go!" he called out and was gone. Peach turned towards Falco and nodded.

"Let's go-" she slammed her hands over her mouth and said it again. She sounded like she came straight out of a song! She grabbed Falco's hand and started skipping. He swallowed his pride.

And a one, two, three.

"We're off to see the bonus room, the wonderful bonus room of champions!" she giddily sung. Falco mumbled along and was skip-walking. They came across a path that had a thin bridge over nothingness. ( **The upcoming songs will be bolded and some of the lyrics might be changed. I don't own any of these products. Please credit the original authors. Don't forget to imagine the character singing the words as if they're in the song. Or do what you want. Doesn't matter to me.** ). A looming evil clock looked down on them, showing their time. Peach let go of Falco's hand/wing.

"What's up with that clock? I mean, ( **Blank Space - Taylor Swift** ) Oh my god, look at it's face. This next course, is my mistake. Get going quick, so we aren't laaaaaaaaate. Oh no!" she sung out as she stumbled on the thin platform. Falco was right behind her. Horrible bat creatures with spiked tails danced around us. Falco sighed and began his turn. ( **Demons - Imagine Dragons** )

"When this place is cold and the bats get close and the land we see is nowhere near. When the teams all fail and the glory we steal, belongs to others who deserve it so much more. I want to fly aw-ay. These things aren't kept at bay. The bats smell like rot and there's nowhere to run. No matter what we plea, They still all come at me. This is my reckoning. This is my reckoning. Oh!" he shouted and Peach pulled him across. She smacked the bats with a tennis racket. Falco felt his body.

"I'm alive! Gzzzzt!" He was electrocuted. "I mean, I'm aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive!" he sang like Sia.

"Will you come on?" Peach pulled him aside. The ran into a sign that 'JUST KI'- no they didn't. They ran into a sign that said, 'The Great Maze.' which brought back bad memories. There were four entrances. Falco went all the way to the last one and Peach chose the second one.

Peach walked down the maze halls while popping her hips out and swaying. ( **Stayin' Alive** )

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a man's woman, no time to talk. Iron tough and my man is warm, I've been kicking tail since I was born. And now it's al-right, it's okay. And you can stare the other way. You can try, to understand, the magazines bad effect on women! Whether you're a sister or whether you're a princess, I'm stayin' alive. Stayin' alive. Ah ah ah ah." she sung as she approached a dead end. Or at least, that what she thought. There were a bunch of buttons, 16 to be exact. There was a robotic singing auto-tune voice.

"You have to push a button to get through. They each do something, so get wild!"

"Okey-dokey!" she pushed a red button and everything began to erupt in flames. "Oh, that's not good…" it spread around her and grew.

Faclo-err, Falco walked through the halls, mumbling some inaudible things under his breath. Technically cheating, but the voice gave him a warning. What a nice guy. I wish the voice was my dad. Anyways, the space pilot faced two different spots in the road. One went left and another went right. There was a sign that read, ' _With great fortune comes great sorrow and with great poverty comes great sacrifices._ ' Falco scoffed.

"I beg to differ. I'd be pretty damn happy if I had tons of money!" Falco was shocked. "Ow...asshole." he mumbled and walked to the place labeled ' _Fortune_ '. The ' _Poverty_ ' side slid shut and so did the entrance to the part he entered. "Oh great." Falco was electrocuted again. "I can't believe I'm doing this." ( **I'm Blue - Eiffel 65** )

"Yo listen up, here's a story, about a little bird who lives, in a smash world. And all day and all night and everything he sees is just stupid, like his friends, inside and outside. Smash his house, which wasn't good anyway. And I smash Corrin, who happens to be a dragon. Smash his life, and every-one around him, cause I don't have, to listen, to the staffman. *echoes staffman*...It's true da ba de da ba die da ba de da ba die. Da ba de da ba die da ba de da ba die-" Falco stopped himself short as he approached a sign that called out 'TURN BACK!'. He ignored it as he approached a literal gold tiki totem. But instead, it decided to speak/sing.

"You have chosen to be greedy with your life, so now you can lose it!" he sang. A large wall opened up behind him and a large boulder revealed itself. Falco almost pissed himself. ( **Run - Awolnation** )

"Run." The music started playing behind him as the boulder wrecked everything in the way. Empty space was crushed and sent everywhere. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" he cried out as he began to approach a dead-end. He shot it a couple of times then kicked it down, sending rocks everywhere. On the other side of the wall, Falco ran into several flames. "Ah! Ow! Shit! Shit! Shit! It burns!" he patted the flames as he ran for his life. Peach was on the other side trying to get away from the fire.

"Falco?"

"RUN! RUN! RUN!" he shoved her forward and she began to run with him. "Ah, screw this fire!" he shouted, and of course, Peach had a song in mind. ( **Uptown Funk - Bruno Mars** )

"It's too hot!" she sung and music started playing.

"Hot damn!"

"Get a water hose and call Master Hand, it's too hot!"

"Hot damn!"

"Makes a dragon (like Corrin) get a big smile man, It's too hot!"

"Hot damn!"

"Call my name you know who I am, It's so hot!"

"God damn!"

"Am I bad bout' my body(?) break it down!" They came up on another dead end. The two turned around to see the boulder rushing at them at full speed. "Boulder's coming cry hallelujah! Boulder's comi-"

"For the love of god Peach, stop singing!" Falco cut off as he kicked and shot the wall. "Help me do something!" The boulder was meters away. Peach plucked a turnip and threw it on the ground. "Really, what's that gonna do-" The boulder tripped over the turnip and flew high in the air.

"DUCK!"

"Where?" Peach tackled Falco as the boulder shot over their heads and through the wall. On the other side of the wall was the exit.

"Yes! Falco, we can get to the next area now!" Peach cheered. But little did she know that the boulder was angry and wanted revenge. It turned around and headed right for them.

"Uh, Peach?"

"Now, let's get this over with. Don't forget to sing!" she laughed.

"Peach!"

"Hmm?"

"Run for your life!" Falco sprinted away. Peach turned around to see the Rock of Death sneaking up behind her.

She turned around and began to run. "Here comes the flipping **WRECKING BALL**! ( **Miley Cyrus** ) I never was confuuuuuused befoooooore! All I wanted was to wiiiiin overaaaaaall! All I ever did was, break up with Mario! Yeah, I don't want to die!" She pulled another turnip and threw it on the ground. But the boulder never falls for anything twice. It jumped over the turnip and continued after the pair. Peach held her dress up as she ran, showing off her heels. Which brings me to the question, How the hell does she manage to run with heels on? Save that shit for Jurassic World. Oh sorry for interrupting. "How is that possible!?" She shouted. Peach was getting desperate. The boulder was catching up. As she came to three different paths, a blue object pulled her to the side. The boulder rushed straight passed her and Falco put a hand /wing up to her mouth.

"Shhhh. It can hear us-Gzzzzzzzt!" he was shocked. The boulder turned back and looked around the corner. It saw them. "Oh for *bleep*s sake!" Falco angrily yelled out. He pushed Peach out of the way and jumped onto the boulder. He ran backwards on it and sped it into a wall. It exploded into pieces and small rocks flew everywhere. Falco landed on the ground with his eyes on fire (not literally). "GEEZ! I COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME!? DAMN IT!" Falco was electrocuted twice. Don't ask why. "Gah, man! Stop, please!" he shouted and was electrocuted again. "I mean stooop." he sung. In case you didn't notice, Falco really hated this challenge.

"Falco, we should probably go now. If you're done being shocked." Peach asked.

"Naw. Maybe we should." The two headed towards the other giant hole in the wall. They approached another large gap. Another sign was hanging from the sky. ' _Only your imagination and voice will propel you across._ ' Before Falco could say anything, Princess Toadstool already had it covered. ( **Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole** )

"Somewheeeeeere oveeer the rainbow, waaay uuuup hiiigh!" As she sung, a rainbow appeared. She began to stroll on it. "There's aaaaaa land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewheeeere oveeer the rainbow, skyyy's aaaare bluuuuee!" her entire atmosphere turned blue. "Aaaand theee dreams that you dare to dream really do come true!" Everything around her began to turn warm as she smiled. Falco scoffed.

"How much longer are you going to keep this up?" Peach glared him down. "Psh. Fine. Whatever." She started the song again.

"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far be-h-i-i-nd meee!" A shooting star flew and crashed right next to Falco.

"Yaaaaahh!" he went flying into the air and landed hard onto the rainbow. It shook and the front end of the rainbow began to crumble away. "Augh...Ow...Gzzzzzt! Ow, damn it!" he yelled after being shocked.

"Falco, we have to run!"

"Huh? Oh shit." he saw the rainbow crumbling into Skittles. "RUN!" Falco stumbled off the ground trying to keep up with Peach, who was also running from the Skittles Fall of Doom. The rainbow had stopped a little less than halfway to the end. "Peach, keep singing!" Peach shook her head.

"No, it's your turn! You can do it too!" she smiled.

"Peach, now is not the ti-"

"The lyrics are-"she whispered in his ear. Falco facepalmed and sighed.

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops," Peach, at the same time sung,

"Away a-bove. That's," they simultaneously sang, "where you'll find me!" The rainbow started to increase. Peach nodded her head at Falco and they continued. At the same time, Falco sang more.

"Oooooooo-ooo-ooooooooo-ooo-ooo. Bluuue biiiiirds flyyyy." The rainbow increased and the end of the rainbow began to catch up with them. Falco looked back and looked at the end. "Peach, we're going have to jump!" he said and jumped off. Before Peach could jump, the Skittles Fall of Doom sucked the rainbow right from under her feet and she began to fall. She floated for a little bit, desperately trying to get to the edge of the ground.

"Falco, I don't think I'll make it!" she called out, who was high above her.

"FIRE!" he shouted and flew up to the ground. Peach pulled out her parasol and jumped as high as she could into the air, but to no avail. She slowly Mary Poppinsed herself to the ground and looked at Falco with sad eyes who was looking down at her. But she would not go down sappy. And she had the perfect lyrics for this given situation. "If hap-py lit-tle blue birds fly beyond the rainboooww, whyyy oohhh whyyy can't I?" she sang as she was consumed by the darkness below. Falco bashed the ground.

"Peach! Damn it. I'll just have to finish it on my own. Although I prefer my own way, I don't like losing people. Perhaps I'll see her again." he said and turned around. Right before him was two doors of gold. "Huh. That was easier than I thought." he walked towards them, but the voice pulled the doors back.

'Ah ah ah buster. Before you go in-" Falco sprinted for the doors and the doors got pulled back even further. "Hey! Don't cut me off when I'm talking!"

"How the hell did you move the doors!? Everything about you makes no sense!" Falco stomped.

"Says the talking blue bird…"

"Fuck you!" Falco was electrocuted.

"I won't have that type of language in my ch-"

"I hate you very much."

"You didn't have to cut me off!"

"I didn't! Chill out!"

"Make out like it never happened and that it was nothing. I don't even need your attention. You treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough."

"Wait, do I know you in the outside world? Tell me who you are you tobacco sucking smoker!"

"You didn't have to stoop so low! Have your friend act as a sacrifice and then shrug it off. I guess that she didn't need it though. Now you're just somebody that I wish I didn't know!"

"Please, stop. Just read the rules so I can get out of here…" Falco said...kindly. The voice shrugged ( **Also, the song The Voice sang was called Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye** ).

"Fine, whatever. Okay, your final challenge (of the challenge) is to sing a song from whatever category that I put on the screen. A living audience will judge and choose your fate. Whether you're shocked, exploded, poisoned, stabbed, smashed, burned, torn, drowned, and even my favorite, thrown into the SUPER ULTRA KILLA SPIKEY DEATH PLATFORM BLAST BEAM WALL! Yeah, remember that? (Team High-Tech Spirit) It's got a real soft spot in my heart. But anyways, that's your challenge. Are you ready?"

"What if I say no?"

"Then you're gonna be very disappointed." A screen showed up that started spinning categories.

* * *

_Meanwhile, back at the 'lobby'..._

Strange remotes that looked like Nintendo Wii U Gamepad fell into every smasher's laps and had a list of directions on them.

 _Watch the mutant bird creature sing some songs. When the time comes, rate his singing. Overall, if he gets under 7/10 then he will be punished. YOU get to choose how he's punished if and when it happens. A list of consequences will appear on your screen. Tap on the option you want. Majority rule wins. You'll have thirty seconds to submit your answer. In case of a tie...see what happens. If you assholes manage to tie, then I'll burn you up instead! Think I won't!...Okay, I won't, just vote. Also, in case of insanely bad singing, you may push your X button to try to end the song immediately. Twenty of these and the song will stop. Okay, that seems like all. Also, when the challenge is over, these objects will explode. Now, let's play already! - The Voice_.

"How did he do that? I mean, I know that his radio is out here, but does that mean his powers also apply out here? Cause that would be bad." Link asked, looking down at his device. Nobody answered. He turned his head. "Hey! I'm talking here!"

"Oh who cares? None of this stuff matters anyway. It's all stupid." Ike moped. Samus was patting him on his back while Villie was hugging him around his neck and Villager was standing on his shoulder rubbing his head. Corrin shook his head.

"C'mon buddy, you gotta cheer up. Your clothing certainly doesn't show how you're feeling. Why don't you change back into your old gear? Make yourself feel all vintage again. Don't worry, you'll feel better in no time." he urged. Ike grunted. Kamui shrugged.

"Ike, stop being such a pansy." The group turned towards her, except for Ike. She shrugged again. "I'm serious. Jeez, it's really not a big deal. Stop being, well, what Roy calls it, a 'bitch' and go flipping talk to her and see what's wrong. I swear, you guys are like a package made of suppressed feelings, depression, unsolved frustrations, childhood trauma, and a single episode of Mean Girls. My gods, can we get a replacement smasher to avoid this kind of drama? Says the guy who doesn't want to date anyone at the mansion for the very reason he's in conflict for." she began to walk away. "Bunch of dramatic kids." Samus gave her a frustrated look, but Kamui never got to see due to her walking away. Corrin turned to them.

"Guys, don't mind her. She just doesn't see what we see due to her being Asexual and all. She'll be fine."

Guys, the thing is starting!"

"That Kamui, she just-*sigh*" Samus said. Villager was looking at Villie with a menacing look in his eye. She agreed and pulled out an axe.

"No OnE mEsSeS wItH mA bOi."

"Villager, did you just talk?" Corrin asked. He shook his head and pointed down at Ike. "Oh, he was just talking to himself. Also, I saw that look you gave my sister. Don't even think about it." he glared. Corrin wasn't afraid to shred up some crazy bastards. Not even a little bit.

"Guys, we're starting. Pick up the pad."

"Alright Link! Geez, can't you see that we're in the middle of something?" Corrin shouted. Corrin had his sword up to Villager's neck who had an axe up to his head while also signaling Villie who had thrown her away her slingshot and instead had a sniper rifle aimed right between Corrin's eyes.

"Uh...maybe you guys should tone it down a notch."

"Alright, fine." he lowered his sword which forced Villager's axe away that made Villie's sniper rifle somehow turn back into a slingshot.

"You guys sure are weird. Alright Zel, I hope you're more ready for this than I am." Link said as Falco started his first song.

* * *

_Back to the challenge area, YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!_

The category machine stopped on ' _Songs sang by Frank Sinatra_ '. Falco began to get nervous.

"Damn, this is why I shouldn't only listen to rap and other heavy stuff. If only Eminem or Lil Uzi Vert was on here. Oh well...Let's see...Frank Sinatra...Oh, I know something he sung! Okay, here goes…" Most people was leaning on their chairs. ( **Moon River - Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini - Song once sang by Frank Sinatra** )

"Moon River, wiiider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style, some daaaay! Old dream, maker. You heart, breaker." Ike twitched at that line. "Wherever you're going, I'm going your wa-" A loud buzzer sounded which told him to stop singing. "I mean, you could've at least let me finish my line, you didn't have to cut me off like that…" he pouted.

"VOTE!" An announcer guy boomed. Several votes carried in from the smashers.

"I just noticed something. Please don't tell me that the smashers are voting."

"Too late." the voice chuckled and Falco punched the ground.

"I hate this challenge."

"VOTES TALLIED! RANKED 6/10! BAD! CHOOSE PUNISHMENT!"

"Wait, what? But I nailed that! Come on guys! Please don't be the death slammer, please don't be the death slammer…"

"VOTES TALLIED! MAJORITY VOTE, BURN! BURNING INITIATED!" Falco erupted in flames.

"GAAHH!" they put themselves out and he was left unsinged. "Ah, just give me the next song." The category machine spun and stopped on ' _Made by The Village People_ '. "Man, these flipping songs suck! Nobody listens to this kind of shit! Most people don't even know who the Village People are!" Villie and Villager knew who they were. Falco could only think of one song and he was seriously considering taking a ride on the death slammer.

"Hurry up blue bird!" the voice shouted.

"Fox, I know you're watching this. I don't want to hear a word about this song. Okay, let's do this." He took a deep breath. ( **Macho Man - Village People** )

"Body, want to feel my body. Body, such a thrill my body! Body, want to touch my body, body, it's too much my body! Body-" the buzzer rang due to the voice having enough.

"VOTE!"

"Do we seriously have to do this?"

"Yes, yes we do. It's very important. Stop being a bitch and just do it."

"Whatever."

"VOTES TALLIED! RANKED 10/10! EXCELLENT AND SOMEWHAT HOMOPHOBIC!"

"Hey, no one asked you announcer! Piss off!" the song machine began to spin. "How long do I have to do this!?"

"One more for your victory (if you don't die) and two more for your friend back."

"Ugh." The machine landed on ' _Modern Beats_ '. "Ooh, I got this one!"

"Nope! Too boring! Spin again!"

"Hey! What the he-" the machine began to spin once more. "No fair!"

"You'll get over it." The voice said. Falco frowned at the new category. ' _Classic video games_ '.

"That's a really vague category. Can't you be more specific?"

"Hey, just do want you want. Don't try too hard, your failure is amusing."

"Aren't you more laid back than usual?" he asked the voice.

"Clock's ticking."

"Fine. Alright, this should make somebody happy." ( **Calling to the Night - Metal Gear Solid** ) "Through the night to the day, when everything is gone. Carry this soul away from-" Before he could even finish. A single non-smasher smashed the 10/10 button so hard that it shattered the entire system for that song. The voice sighed.

"Okay, who the hell did it? You know what? It doesn't matter. You win. Whatever. You can go now." The doors opened wide. The whole thing started to disappear.

"Wait a minute! I'm not finished!"

"What the hell are you talking about!? I'm already putting away the stuff!"

"You just said that I could do another one to save Peach! Don't be like that!"

"Ugh, fine. What a bitch…" the stuff warped back. "Since you made me do extra work, I'll be choosing the next song. Bring it up song screen!" The song screen displayed a new song. The smashers had a good laugh at that one.

"Are you fu-"

"No time to talk. Hop to it!"

"*sigh* Damn it Peach, this had better be worth it." The smashers and the voice all held their breaths as he sung. "I'm a ( **Barbie girl - Aqua** )...in a barbie woooorrrld…" A machine surrounded him and dressed him up in a pink dress with a a straight blond wig. "Hey! What are you doing! This wasn't part of the deal!" he growled. The voice couldn't stop snickering.

"Pfft-hahaha! No, keep going!" Falco gritted his beak (teeth?) and kept singing. Except it was more of a mumble.

"Life in plastic…*sigh*...it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere…" A mechanical hand hung from the ceiling and touched Falco's tail-feathers. He jumped forward and kicked the hand away. He pulled it out of the ceiling and hammer threw it into the song screen, destroying it completely. He shot the speaker to bits and ripped the wig to shreds. He stomped the bow in his hair to pieces. He threw a smart bomb that was snapped onto his belt and blew the doors to the bonus room to smithereens. "Screw this, screw the bonus room, and fuck all of you!" he yelled and disappeared in the light of the bonus room. The voice was too busy mourning to notice.

"Noooooo! Song screen! You were so young! It was your first day! Whyyyyyyyy!...Okay, now that that's over, that dumb blond needs to come back." as soon as he said it, Peach floated in from the sky. "Right on time! Listen girlie, there's no time to talk! Your bird friend already went through the bonus room, so you need to get in there. Alright, bye!" Before Peach could say or do anything, a large boot kicked her into the bonus room and it exploded, never to open again. "Good. Now, to bury song screen…"

* * *

The bonus room was just an all white room with not much moving space. Falco and Peach had entered and to be honest, they were super unimpressed. As a matter of fact, they were disappointed. The voice would have better make this worth it.

"Alright you piss-flavored cheese stains. I can already tell that you're not liking this room, but what if I told you that it only becomes what you truly seek? From your deepest emotions and desires, all the way to your worst fears and biggest loves. This room is determined by the choices you make and your true intentions when addressing a situa-"

"Boring! Can we get a move on!?" Falco interrupted. The voice blasted him with fire, electricity and Ice shards. Falco came out looking like he came from Antarctica, California, and India mixed up in a bowl and thrown onto the eye of one of Jupiter's thunderstorms.

"LET THIS BE THE LAST GODDAMN TIME ONE OF YOU PITIFUL, PATHETIC, LOW-LIFE BITCHES INTERRUPTS ME! GOT IT!?" Falco was flaming on the ground while Peach tried to put the flames out. "Good! Basically, you'll make a series of choices that'll determine how you get out and your experience in this room. On your way, there will be buttons with items on it. Press them to gain that item for the final round. Understand?" Falco was laying on the ground and Peach loomed over him. She looked at the floating radio.

"He passed out." she said with worried eyes. The voice sighed.

"What a baby." A 1-up fell onto Falco and he was all better. "You idiots are worthless. Let's just get to the _game_. You are at war. You're pinned down and the only other guy you have is severely wounded. A rescue helicopter is on its way. After a battle, you need to get to the helicopter. Do you leave without your guy or do you dangerously carry him with you to the helicopter while being shot at?" he asked. Falco snorted and turned to Peach.

"Here, let me handle this one." He then turned to the voice. "Oh! No man left behind! I'd risk my life to save one of my men! (as long as it's not Slippy)." He said nobly. The voice chuckled.

"Heheh... The proof truly is in the pudding." he faded away and the entire area spread out for miles and became a war field. Men nearly surrounded them as there was another guy bleeding out. War helmets and Ak-47's were in Falco and Peach's hands. A distant helicopter made it's way over. The three were being shot at like never before.

"What's going on!?" Peach fumbled with the gun as she had never wielded such heat before. I don't mean because they were pretty much in the desert, but the gun.

"Get down!" Falco pulled her behind a rock. He had been in this kind of battle before, especially as a space pilot. He turned towards the guy who was hurt. He saw his rank. First Class Private. "Private, what's your name?"

"Private…*cough* *cough*...Frederick sir. I'm not looking too good. I don't know if I'll make it Colonel." Falco slapped him. He really didn't want to be back at war, even if this was just a challenge.

"None of that kind of talk! We're getting you out of here, alive. Private Toadstool!"

"Sir?" she asked. She was also fiddling with the gun. Pikachu 2.0-I mean, nothing.

"Do you know how to use that thing?" She shook her head no. Falco took it from her and turned off the safety. "You point this end at the the thing you want to kill. Then you push the 'button' to shoot. Nail as many of those bastards as you can." she nodded and took the gun back. Peach looked over the rock and aimed the gun at them. Falco pulled her back down. "Do you want to die? Don't stand up! Just aim over and crouch! Also, take my gun too. I already have my gun." he said and handed her the other submachine gun. ( **I believe it's a submachine gun.** ) Peach leaned over the rock and aimed two guns out.

"Don't mess with the Prin-cess! Yaaaaaaaaaah!" she screamed and unloaded all fury on the enemy. She nailed one guy in the head and another in the right knee. A red mist blew into the air. "I've dealt with mutated mushrooms, living demon turtles, living killing giant bullets, walking bombs, masked freaks, and even an air-fleet run by a fused dragon-turtle! I, Princess Peach, will not be ended here! I'll die by my Kingdom, by my useless soldiers, and my best friends! SO GIVE ME ALL YOU HAVE!" She shot a gas canister and blew three soldiers away. She ducked down to avoid incoming fire. She rolled over to the hurt soldier.

"What are you doing?" Falco snapped. She held up a finger as a heart appeared. She held it into the air and the soldier turned pinkish. All of a sudden, the bullet wound was no more as it was gone from her healing.

"Therapy." She said ( **Therapy is a special attack that can only be learned by Princess Peach from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. It is one of Peach's heart magic abilities.** ) and continued fighting.

"Oh man! I feel much better! Sir, I'm ready for action again!" he pulled out a sniper rifle. He sat up and started popping heads. Falco pulled the pin from a grenade and lobbed it over. All that was heard was 'Grenade!' and then an explosion. The helicopter from before was lowering to the ground now. Dust spewed everywhere from the power of the propellers.

"Get to the chopper!" Falco cried out as Peach and Frederick began running to the helicopter. Falco took a deep breaths and ran as fast as he could. The door on the helicopter opened up and men screamed at them to come on. Falco sprinted behind Frederick and Peach, but was shot in the leg. Due to Master Hand's safety protocols that he made back in Melee, under any circumstances may the smashers never be mortally/physically wounded in a simulation. (Crazy Hand and the Staffman re-established the rule after Pittoo's leg was broken.) The bullet was real, but it only bounced off the smashers. Still hurts though. He fell to the ground holding his leg. There was a small button on the ground with a boomerang on it. Falco punch it. Remembering the rule, he got back up against the pain and began running again. "Private Toadstool, get Frederick into the helicopter!"

"Okey-dokey!" she called back. Falco facepalmed. He was still running to the helicopter, but with his leg aching, he was moving significantly slower. All of a sudden a man with a rocket launcher rose above a rock and aimed at the Heli. Falco double-taked.

"Ah shoot." He jumped and used Falco Phantasm which sent him quite some distance in a blinding speed. He jumped onto the helicopter and ducked under the propellers. "And they say this first round is easy." he crawled underneath and ran off the top. The rocket was heading at top speed. "Here goes nothing…" he said and kicked his reflector at it. The missile shot back at the sender and his eyes grew big. Falco pumped his fist into the air. "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" Private Toadstool pulled him into the helicopter before it took off. They were lifted into the air. Him and Peach hi-fived.

"Yes! We got it!"

"Not too bad out there Peach. Not too bad." He shook his head. Everything disappeared and turned back into the small white room. Peach and Falco fell and hit the ground.

"Alright you two! That wasn't all that bad! Okay, you can go home now." A blue pad appeared and the voice began to clean up small rocks and little bits of rubble. Peach picked herself up off the ground.

"Wait one second. That's it!? That's our bonus room? That was kinda lame." she said, rubbing her aching butt.

"Yeah man! What the hell?" Falco leaned up while scratching his head. The voice sighed.

"Can't you see I'm busy? You two are never satisfied are you!? Bunch of nuisances. Fine! One more! After that, I want you two out of here! And no more complaining! Jeez, bunch of no good assholes these days…" The simulation room thing spread out and turned into a darkish room. Peach and Falco were sitting at a poker table with one other guy and another dealing.

"Great, where are we now?" Falco asked. Peach tilted up her pimp hat (don't ask) and cigar (just don't ask).

"Looks like we got a new one boys." she said in a strange accent and the guys nodded. Falco leaned closer to her.

"Peach, you don't even fricking smoke!"

"I know! I just have it in my hand to complete the look!" she whispered giddily. Falco banged his head on the table. There was a button under it with a hammer on it. He punched it. The dealer dealt two cards to everyone. One of them was face up.

"Huh, Blackjack eh? Well then, let's get started." he said. Falco had a brownish-baigish trench coat and hat on. He had a wristwatch that had two shiny hands. A stack of coins, some rupees, and a single golden ring sat next to him. He placed his bid as he looked at his cards. "This is a strange part of the challenge. Win at poker? Whatever. I did say no complaining." ( **And that means you too. Nah, just messin' with ya.** ) Falco turned over an Ace of Hearts and a Five of Clubs. He looked over at Peach and she flashed a K with her hands and a 2 under the table. She smiled at him deviously.

"Hit or stand?" the dealer asked the guy to Peach's left. Before he could answer, the entire casino started flashing red. An alarm shouted 'INTRUDER ALERT! ROBBERY IN ACTION! INTRUDER ALERT! ROBBERY IN ACTION!" The guys who were at the table had fled. A large sign fell from the sky. It read, 'Find the robber! Stop the heist!'

"Damn it! Why is it always this kind of crap!?"

"Well, we did ask for more…"

"Shut up Peach."

"Hey! I'm trying to help!" she huffed.

"Let's just go." Before leaving, Falco scooped up all the money left at the table. Peach eyed him suspiciously as he walked away, pockets jingling with cash. An officer ran up to Peach, which made Falco stop.

"There you are Detective Roiahltie! (Roy-al-ty). I've been looking everywhere for you! We've found three suspects. If you'd come and interrogate them please." he said.

"Sure thing! Take me there!" she nodded. The officer looked her up and down.

"Excuse me, but I don't remember you being so tall." he said looking up. Don't forget, Peach is like 6 ft 4 or something. She's really tall. And Rosalina is a little over seven feet tall! But hey, it's your imagination.

"Oh yeah! I had quite a bit of mushrooms yesterday." Falco rushed over and quickly changed the subject.

"ABOUT THOSE SUSPECTS, we should go ahead and do that." sweat dripped down his head. The officer looked at the two very suspiciously.

"Umm...yes. Right this way." he said and led them through a secret hallway. They approached a dusty old vault. He spun the wheel and it open. There were three people sitting at tables with handcuffs bolted to said tables. There was a single dim light bulb swing back and forth. It often flickered on and off. "Here are the suspects. I'll wait outside so you can focus. And just so you know," his face grew dim. "The criminal will be executed. Choose wisely." he closed the vault door. Peach and Falco turned towards each other.

"Not going to lie, I'm not too big on detective work." Peach whispered.

"Don't worry, I'll handle it." Falco claimed. Peach shook her head.

"No, not this time. You always get to do it. Military, singing, wrecking ball, I haven't gotten to do anything cool yet. But we can play good cop bad cop. I'll be good cop. Now, follow my lead." Falco wasn't too big on the idea of her leading, but it was her turn this time. She walked up to the first suspect. He was a grotesquely portly man who was wearing casual clothes. He was crying his eyes out, blowing snot, and pissing himself. Typical.

"Look, we're not going to go easy on you." Falco slammed his blaster on the table. The guy cried even more. "You're going to tell me and my friend here what we want to know." Peach walked up to him.

"Calm down now. We're not going to hurt you, unless you did it of course. But wipe your face and get ahold of yourself." she handed him a pink handkerchief. He stopped sobbing and got himself together. "Good. Now, did you do it? Did you start a heist?"

"N-no." he looked down. Peach sighed.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me no." she asked kindly. He began sobbing again. Falco snatched the blaster up and pressed it against his temple.

"Look her in the fucking eyes and say no you fat coward bastard!" he screamed. Peach pulled him back.

"Falco, too much bad cop." she whispered.

"Oh, too much? My bad. Here, I'll tone it down." he put the gun back down and balled up his fist. "Look her in the eyes." the guy was sobbing all over again as he looked up. He was a disgrace.

"I didn't do it! I swear!" he yelled out. A guy in the far corner punched the table.

"Hey fatass, mind shutting the hell up so I can get some shut eye? Damn." he laid his head against the table.

"Peach, let's just move on to the next person."

The next suspect was a girl. She was on the shorter side with dyed grey hair. Her hair was curly. Peach's blood boiled.

"YOU!" She pointed an angry finger towards her. "Who are you anyway!? What are you doing here!?" The young woman smiled.

"Whatever do you mean darling? I was just having fun on the slot machines and was picked up by these brutal men. They took me here and now I'm just wondering what you're going to do to little old me." she smiled. Peach and Falco leaned in.

"Peach, just keep being good cop. I'll handle bad. It's what I'm good at." he whispered. Peach huffed.

"Fine, but I'm only going to be 'okay' cop. I'm not good enough to be good cop for her." the two turned back towards her and she had an innocent grin and rested her chin on her hands. Peach went first.

"Look, we may have gotten off on the wrong foot here. Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"But I will." Falco barked.

"Anyways, I just want to know the truth. Where were you at the time of the heist?" the woman pouted.

"I believe I just told you sugar. I had just warped through time and space, since I'm a time traveler, and came here. I just wanted to gamble and these men brought me in here. One of the men said that I looked suspicious. Perhaps it's my gear." She said and looked down. Falco leaped over the table and searched her belt. He pulled off this neon blue and black device. He couldn't even figure out what it was, let alone understand the strange characters on it. He threw it on the table and pointed his gun in her face.

"Listen here. Real close. If I find out you're lying to us, I'll blow everything in that empty skull of yours all over the wall." the lady's grin turned into a threatening smirk.

"If my skull is empty, nothing would go onto the wall. Ever think about what you say before you say it?" she mocked.

"Wipe that silly ass grin off your face!" he put his finger to the trigger. All of a sudden, her expression turned into something more serious.

"Wait, that mark..." she pushed Falco's gun to the side to see the blue smash logo. Her eyes widened slightly. "Hey, do you know anyone else who has this mark?"

"Look, we're the ones asking the questions here." Peach tried to get into the conversation. She was feeling left out. "What's your name?"

"My name? I won't tell you my real name sugar, but my associates call me Gen. As in generation. But anyways, I met a man with blue hair and a wiggly child with those same logos. Where are they?" she asked sternly.

"The real question is, did you do it?" Peach asked.

"Hold on Peach. Maybe we can make a deal. Sorry about that." he turned around to the lady. "I do know where they are and I know how to get to them. But, here's the deal. You help us throughout the challenges, and at the very end of the competition, win or lose, I'll help you get to us. But you'll have to wait until the very end. Got it?"

"Understood. You'll have to explain to me what these 'challenges' and 'competition' is later. But for now, what can I do for you sugar?"

"Well, that was easier than I thought. Anyways, which one of these guys did the heist?" Peach asked, still not too happy with her.

"Well, I saw this pathetic moron handing a bag of money to another guy." she pointed to the crying large man. Then she pointed to the guy snoozing. "And this man was already here when I was taken." she smiled. Falco smiled as well. Peach frown-smiled.

"Well, I'll go tell the officer." Peach said and put her purple feather pimp hat back on. She opened the vault door and whispered some things to the guy. Falco couldn't make out the conversation. Him and another guy roughly walked over and snatched the man out of his seat. He screamed and kicked and cried as he was taken outside of the vault. Peach couldn't watch and Falco didn't care. The guy who was sleeping rolled his head over.

"Finally, some peace and quiet." he quickly fell back asleep. Peach walked up to the woman.

"Although I'm still not a big fan of you, thanks for your help. I appreciate it. I swear it'll be worth it." she said with her eyes closed and arms folded. Her purple trench coat swayed gently with her movement.

"If you'd let me outta these cuffs, that'd be helpful cupcake." she said to her. Peach took out a chainsaw and ripped the cuffs to shreds-wait a minute, that didn't happen. What REALLY happened was that Falco found a key in his pockets (ironically) and un-cuffed her and the other guy. She moved her wrist. "Ah, much better. Thanks sugar. Now, I agree to help you in these 'challenges, but for now, I'll have to be on my way. Put these on." she handed them two tiny blue objects. Falco placed his behind his ear and Peach put it on the back of her neck under all that golden hair. Must be a pain to keep clean. "They'll tell me when you enter this realm and I'll make my way over to your timeline and location. I can't track you outside of this realm, so make sure you don't wander too far when you need help. But for now, _Toodles_!" she pushed a button on the strange looking device Falco had from earlier and disappeared. The whole simulation area turned back into the small white room. There was a blue pad in the middle. Falco and Peach were redressed into their regular attire.

"Noo! My money!" Falco fell to the ground, groveling. The voice sounded a bit more irritated than usual.

"There! Are you satisfied? You can let yourself out." A broom without someone holding it began sweeping the floor. "I've actually got shit to do than terrorise you fools. Now go!"

"Jeez, you could've just asked." Peach mumbled. She exploded on the ground.

"I almost forgot to explode at least one of you. Goodbye!" A large hand grabbed and then slung them into the blue pad. They were (FINALLY!) warped out of the challenge area.

* * *

"Finally! I-a thought that they would've been-a in there forever!" Dr. Mario complained.

"No. It-a wasn't that-a long." Mario said.

"That's-a because you were-a reading that-a book!" he pointed to the Stephen King novel resting next to him.

"It's a good story."

"Can-a I read it too?" the doctor asked his counterpart.

"No! Wait-a until I am-a done!" Mario turned away.

"Hmph. Hey Luigi, what-a are you up to?" Dr. Mario asked, having gotten bored with Mario. Luigi was dozing off in the corner. "Everybody-a here is-a useless…" he grumbled. "I need-a something to do…" he walked past several chairs and smashers and headed over to our famous and notorious group, Oh come on, you already know. The flipping people I've talked a ton about in this chapter. Anyways, Dr. Mario strided up to Ike, who was still pretty down. "Hey-a Ike."

"Hey doc. What's up?" he looked up.

"You don't-a look so good. I'm also a certified therapist. Want to tell-a me all about it?" he asked. Ike looked up again.

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great." Ike got up and Villie fell off of his head and landed on her back. She flashed him a mean look before he left. The doctor lead him back to his office in the side corner. Now he wouldn't be bored anymore. All of the problems in the world have been solved. "By the way, doc. Do you have any paper towels? I have Villie's spit behind my ear." the two disappeared behind the doctor's closed doors. Samus shook her head.

"Hey, Snake!"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"What's that weird black thing next to your feet?"

"Oh, that? Remember the pads that fell from the sky? I pushed a button on it too hard and smashed it to pieces. It never exploded. Why?" he picked up the destroyed machinery and tossed it aside. It smacked Nana across the head.

"Just wondering if it exploded in your face like these two morons." she pointed to the dragon twins. They wisely ignored her. Peach and Falco warped back to the 'lobby'. Both of them were a little tired and were glad to get a breather. Peach walked over to where Ike used to be to give him a well-earned piece of her mind. She didn't see him anywhere.

"Where's Ike?" she asked Villager. Fire burned in his eyes as he dragged a violent finger across his neck. "Dead? Yeah, real funny." she sighed and sat down in a chair for him. Oh did she wait. She'll wait for the end of eternity. *ahem* Anyways, Falco also went and sat down, but you know, by Captain Falco. 'Cause he's one of the few people he actually talks to. Captain Falcon was constantly rubbing his nose in pain.

"What's wrong with you?" Falco asked.

"A strange pad exploded in my face. My nose has hurted ever since."

"I tried to tell you to stop snorting so hard…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

The staffman got off of his computer (He was actually playing Undertale instead of working on paperwork. He would deny this.) and walked in front of the smashers. Everyone's moral seemed down. Time to do some cheering up.

"Okay everyone! We're going to have an intermission! I can tell that some of you aren't in the best of moods, so I have a special surprise for all of you." he smiled.

"A special surprise? Is it more screen time? 'Cause I sure could use it." Pittoo said.

"Don't blow it Dark Pit. Now, can anyone guess what the surprise is?"

"Fireworks?" Wii Fit Trainer asked.

"A bounce house?" Ness jumped up and down. You know, sometimes I forget his age.

"Our very own moon?" Zelda's eyes sparkled. The staffman frowned at their answers.

"No, no, and what? Of course not. The surprise is, your very own arcade machine!" An arcade machine grew out of the ground after the stafman scratched some things down in his pocket book.

"An arcade machine? Actually, I'd prefer that giant green chair more." Link scoffed.

"Wish granted!" Crazy snapped his fingers and the big chair was back. And so were the smashers on it.

"No no no! Not again! Link!" Mega Man balled up his fist. He was really getting tired of the shenanigans.

"Reminder, don't use sarcasm around Crazy Hand. He takes it seriously. But other than that, enjoy your intermission. I'm on my fifteen minute break, so do what you want. Don't kill anyone or break anything. I'll be back in ten and back to work in fifteen. See you later." the staffman said and put on his hat and walked out of the double doors. Crazy floated idly in the air.

"This is awkward huh? I'm just gonna leave now…" Crazy said and floated to the sky. Everyone turned to each other with mischievous grins.

"If we can do whatever we want…" Roy started.

"We can pay Link back for getting us back onto this chair…" Marth finished.

"Then settle our differences through combat…" many of them completed.

"I miss the staffman…" Lucina sulked. And that was the last sane thing that was said as the smashers lunged towards Link. His cries were unheard of.

"That's not all! Don't think I've forgotten about you too Dark Pit!" Falco shouted as he kicked him in the back.

"Oh I've fucking had it with you! I'll beat the feathers off of ya!" he shouted and separated his bow into blades. Then everyone was fighting each other. Bayonetta against Ryu, Nana and Popo vs Villie and Villager, Young Link vs Toon Link, Wolf vs Fox, Shulk vs Bowser, Rosalina (who really still wanted to fight Ike for that stupid remark at the beginning) was watching the carnage while drinking tea. Kirby was beating the crap out of Bowser Jr., Yoshi and Cloud clashed against Meta Knight and Corrin, Charizard vs Donkey Kong. Olimar trying to get Greninja off his back. Sheik choking the breath out of Mii Fighter. Everybody hates Everybody!

This is what happens when the smashers do what they want.

* * *

 **Who's your favorite character? Yeah, I know. We're so alike. Come back next time for the next five teams! And also, I know about oc's and stuff, but trust me, Gen isn't that type of oc. (outside character). Any questions, comments, and concerns, leave a review! I don't bite! Or do I? Nah, just joking with ya. I worked extremely hard on this one, as in 'not getting a whole lot of sleep' kinda work hard. If you want to see more, slap that favorite button and follow so you can stay updated! If you want more of me (you know you do) then slap that favorite writer button and follow this guy to see more hilarious and inspiring stories! Like my most popular (and slightly less updated) Toon Link's Prank Day! I swear you'll have a blast with reading it. And yes, I know there were six teams in this one. I couldn't contain my excitement for 'The Dynamic Duo'. Anyways, for now, I will see all of you next time! Have a nice one guys! Love ya! See ya next time! (Private Message me if you have anything more, 'direct' to say.)**

 **that is, if anyone's still reading of course.**


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